football Page 285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Wouldn't Want To Work With Draymond Green, Either
They have been historically great for years and are, when at their unholy apex, probably the most beautiful and terrifying basketball machine ever constructed, but the Golden State Warriors are kind of a corny bunch of dudes. This is nothing on them, really: it’s not their job to be interesting, or ...

The Eagles Suck!
Last week Dom Cosentino and I discussed one simple truth of this NFL season: The Dallas Cowboys were a mess. Naturally, the Cowboys went out and beat up on the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday night....

The Steelers Have Ransacked Le'Veon Bell's Locker
Le’Veon Bell officially ended his tenure with the Pittsburgh Steelers when he didn’t report to the team by yesterday’s 4:00 p.m. deadline. He will probably never set foot in the Steelers’ locker room again, which means that something needed to be done with his locker and the belongings that are stil...

Marco Rubio: The Recount Is Like Booting The Helmet Sport Ball Through The Yellow Poles
I’m not going to subject you to this entire embarrassing conspiracy theory-pushing thread posted tonight by bloodless dipshit Marco Rubio—a man who would finish off the podium in a Marco Rubio lookalike contest—but I would like to draw as much attention as possible to the fact that Rubio tried to pa...

<i>Fortnite</i> Players Immediately Find Worst Possible Uses For New NFL Skins
In an attempt to burnish their brand in the eyes of the nation’s population of shrieking nine-year-olds who steal their mothers’ credit cards to cosplay John Wick in a bad video game, the NFL has partnered with Fortnite and released a bunch of official skins and other crap. Predictably, players imme...

Chiefs-Rams Mexico City Game Will Be Moved To Los Angeles Because The Field's Too Crummy
The upcoming Monday night game between the Rams and Chiefs will not be at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, because the field is crappy and falling apart due to rain, as well as a Shakira concert. The NFL is moving the matchup to Los Angeles:...

Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly dou...
![NFL Might Move Mexico City Game Because The Field Is All Jacked Up [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/citroph8kqhgzf6kvlpt.jpg)
NFL Might Move Mexico City Game Because The Field Is All Jacked Up [Update]
The Rams and Chiefs are set to play each other next Monday night in what could be the game of the season, and it’s currently scheduled to be played at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City. Unfortunately, this is what the field at the stadium looks like:...

The 49ers And Giants Are Playing Monday Night Football In Some Very Nasty Air
The Camp Fire started in Butte County last Thursday, and it’s already become both the deadliest and most destructive wildfire in California history. The entire town of Paradise is just gone, as the town of 26,000 people was swallowed by the blaze in horrifying fashion shortly after the fire started ...

Nathan Peterman Has Been Released, Man
This evening, at exactly 8:00 p.m. EST, Buffalo Bills fans around the world read the five beautiful words they were beginning to think could never be uttered:...

This Ain't It, Team That Appropriates A Chief
The Skins beat the Buccaneers 16-3 yesterday, and apparently a victory over a three-win squad gave some social media doofus the gumption to try to dunk on the losers online....

Cal's Defensive Turnaround Is A Marvel<em></em>
Two seasons ago, the California Golden Bears had one of the most abominable defenses in the country. Cal allowed opponents to score an astonishing 42.6 points per game (the second-worst in the nation among FBS schools), rack up 518.3 yards per game (fourth-worst), and rush for 272.9 yards per game (...

Aaron Donald Took A Cheap Shot From Justin Britt Then Tried To Settle Things After The Game
Seahawks offensive lineman Justin Britt is listed at 6-foot-6 and 315 pounds, but Rams defensive lineman Aaron Donald—five inches shorter and 35 pounds lighter—was not going to let his opponent’s late shot go unpunished in Sunday’s game....

A Roundup Of Jets Fans Looking Like Hostages
Year 4 of the Mike Maccagnan-Todd Bowles era has finally hit rock bottom. Sunday, the Jets hosted the 2-7 Bills, who were reduced to starting Matt Barkley, a fourth-string quarterback who wasn’t even on an NFL roster until Halloween. Oh, and Buffalo came in with the worst offense in DVOA history. Th...

Sean Payton Destroyed A Fire Alarm Before The Saints Destroyed The Bengals
Whether Saints head coach Sean Payton was angry or just trying to hype up his team before Sunday’s game against the Bengals, he seriously fucked up the fire alarm in the visiting locker room at Paul Brown Stadium. What’d he use to do this damage? Does he have fists made of steel?...

Titans Fan Hospitalized After Falling Through An Awning While Reaching For T-Shirt
A Tennessee man attending the Titans’ win over the Patriots yesterday was taken to a local hospital after he fell through an awning while trying to grab a t-shirt. According to the Tennessean, Thomas Carrico Jr. arrived at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in critical condition yesterday afterno...

The Colts Can Block Now
Feel free to disagree, but the best highlight to come out of this week’s slate of NFL games was a moment from yesterday’s Colts-Jaguars game, when rookie Colts guard Quenton Nelson pulled into the hole and absolutely buried Jaguars safety Barry Church:...

Jared Goff Is Shooting His Shot With Halle Berry, I Guess
Jared Goff hoped she would hear it. On the Rams’ first offensive drive of their 36-31 win over the Seahawks, Goff called an audible, and knew the CBS mics would pick it up. “I was like, ‘It’s so quiet right now, this is going to get on TV,’” he said....

The Raiders Are An Abyss
After a 20-6 loss to the Chargers, in a performance dispirited even for the Raiders, head coach Jon Gruden provided the quote that ought to be slapped onto the season-in-review DVDs, before those DVDs are immediately buried in a depleted copper mine, the mine entrance sealed off with concrete and th...

Derek Carr Either Forgot It Was Fourth Down Or Just Gave Up
Here’s a representative lowlight from the Raiders’ 20-6 loss to the Chargers today: QB Derek Carr, after a timeout to set up a crucial fourth-down play, throws the ball directly into the turf....