football Page 289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
After Eating Nothing But Pure Shit For Two Days, Maryland Dumps DJ Durkin
It took players walking out of a team meeting, the resignation of the school president, universal outrage, and public condemnations from the governor and the parents of a dead teenager, but finally Maryland has stumbled desperately into the decision they should’ve made months ago:...
Coach Who Always Looks Like A Pile Of Dirty Laundry Scolds Reporter For Slouching
Lions head coach Matt Patricia got testy with a reporter in today’s presser after being asked a question about how trading Golden Tate made the franchise better. The inquiry apparently didn’t bug him so much as the posture of the person asking it....
The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...
Bills Fan Faces Stiff Punishment After Cops Pegged Him As Dildo-Thrower
Police were pretty hard on Florida man Michael Abdallah, 34, who was arrested for throwing a dildo on the field during the Patriots-Bills game on Monday. The cops reportedly used security camera footage and eyewitness accounts to grab Abdallah; then they squeezed him for $250 in cash or $1,000 in b...
Maryland Is Big-Time College Football
DJ Durkin is back. The Maryland head football coach, who in the very best-case scenario, was so incompetent at overseeing a program that he allowed it to turn into one so toxic and so physically dangerous to players that it killed one, but who was so competent at instilling a culture of “fear” that ...
You Can't Escape The Peterman
Gather round, if you dare, and enjoy this very scary story on Devil’s Night....
Whoa, Hey, Some Football Players Got Traded
The NFL stove is notoriously ice fucking cold throughout the regular season, but teams have been feisty over the last few days, and some big-name players have been traded for significant draft picks. The league trade deadline passed at 4:00 p.m. EDT today, and would you believe it, some more guys go...
The Booger Mobile Has Been Taken Down A Notch
For Monday Night Football games, analyst Booger McFarland is placed in a large contraption that strafes the field so he can get a view of the action that he could more or less get from a sideline camera. The Booger Mobile’s value to the TV viewer is debatable, but what’s clear is that it really aggr...
Report: Board Of Regents Forces Maryland President To Keep DJ Durkin As Coach
Maryland football coach and alleged tyrant DJ Durkin will return to the sidelines this weekend for the Terrapins’ game against Michigan State, as first reported by 24/7 Sports. The University System of Maryland Board of Regents reportedly recommended that the school retain Durkin and athletic direct...
Ass Team Of The Week: Eli Manning And The New York Giants Will Break You
The New York Giants have transformed into a tremendous keister this season, the size and proportions of which have been amply documented on this very website. If you’re a regular reader you already know what the deal is: Eli Manning is old and shitty now and the offensive line can’t protect him and ...
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie Retires Rather Than Keep Playing For The Raiders<em></em>
Former Giants and Cardinals defensive back Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie has announced his retirement today. He doesn’t appear to have suffered a season-ending injury, so perhaps his midseason departure has to do with the wear and tear, physical and emotional, of playing for the 1-6 Oakland Raiders....
Ref Kicks Dildo At Bills Game
Bills fans tossing sex toys onto the field is a well-worn bit at this point, as evidenced by the fact that three separate dildos made their way onto the playing surface during last night’s game against the Patriots. It’s probably time for the dildo-tossers to get a new gag, but this one plays as lon...
Ty Montgomery Says He Wasn't Sure If He Was In The End Zone
Packers running back/return man Ty Montgomery cost Green Bay the chance at a win on Sunday, returning a kickoff out of the end zone and coughing up a fumble rather than taking the touchback and handing the ball to Aaron Rodgers for a textbook two-minute drill. Montgomery understandably did not want ...
Report: Prison Drug Use May Have Contributed To Aaron Hernandez's Death By Suicide
An autopsy performed in April 2017, after the death by suicide of former Patriots tight end and convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez, reportedly “came back negative for all substances” tested, including, importantly, synthetic cannabinoids. But a new report from the Boston Globe says the final police ...
The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>
The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....
Interception Machine Jameis Winston Gets Benched For Ryan Fitzpatrick<em></em>
It’s time to erase the whiteboard reading “Days Since Last Jameis Winston Turnover Party” and draw a big fat 0. The Buccaneers might have beaten the Bengals Sunday if they’d benched Winston quicker, but instead, he was allowed stick around long enough to throw four interceptions, get sacked five tim...
![Browns Don't Stop At Firing Hue Jackson, Shitcan Todd Haley, Too [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dereztzh0ujicovivw8b.jpg)
Browns Don't Stop At Firing Hue Jackson, Shitcan Todd Haley, Too [Update]
Todd Haley must’ve thought he was safe when the Browns fired Hue Jackson today, huh? How long did that last, a little over an hour?...
Iowa's Mascot Got Rocked In The Beans By An Errant Pass
Saturday’s visit to Penn State started a lot better than it finished for the Iowa Hawkeyes. It ended with a 30-24 defeat and a stumble back into the pack in the Big Ten West standings, but it started with a first quarter that featured a blocked punt that became a safety, a fantastic touchdown pass t...
![The Browns Have Finally Fired Hue Jackson [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/p6zhrupg1awgj7vttl7n.jpg)
The Browns Have Finally Fired Hue Jackson [Update]
According to Adam Schefter, the Cleveland Browns have put head coach Hue Jackson in the trash can. This should come as no surprise, both because the Browns have reportedly been considering firing Jackson for a while now, and also because Jackson is a comically incompetent boob who racked up a record...
Eric Reid Explains Why He Called Malcolm Jenkins A "Neo-Colonialist"
Panthers safety Eric Reid got into it with Eagles safety Malcolm Jenkins before their Week 6 game, and then called Jenkins a “sellout” and “neo-colonialist” afterward. Reid’s issue with Jenkins stems from how Jenkins guided the Players Coalition, which came close to cutting a crappy deal with the N...