football Page 302 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goddamn, Patrick Mahomes Looks Good
Hello, welcome to the Week 2 meeting of the Patrick Mahomes fan club. I know it’s early. But our boy is throwing bolts....
Titans Run A Very Neat Fake Punt For 66-Yard TD
Two Tennessee Titans safeties—All-Pro Kevin Byard and fifth-round rookie Dane Cruikshank—combined to shock the Texans on their team’s opening drive, connecting on a 66-yard pass for the first fake punt touchdown of the season. ...
Josh Gordon Is Worth The Risk
If the Browns’ announcement that they’re done with Josh Gordon came as a shock, well, things moved quickly. According to multiple (and not always concordant) reports, Gordon showed up to work on Saturday late, injured, and maybe a little messed up....
Aaron Rodgers's Knee Is All Messed Up, But He's Still Going To Play
Aaron Rodgers is officially active for the Packers’ game against the Vikings today, after a week of uncertainty due to a mysterious knee injury suffered in the second quarter of the season opener against the Bears....
Report: Hell Yes, The Raiders Are Going To Give Jon Gruden More Power
The Raiders are bad. But on the other hand, they’re also old. The strangest roster in the NFL is also the most dysfunctionally run, with no one really sure who’s making the decisions. “Some of [GM Reggie] McKenzie’s own personnel staffers,” Yahoo Sports reported earlier this month, “were not entirel...
This <i>Daily News</i> Sam Darnold Cover Is Terrible; I'm Dying
Jets rookie QB Sam Darnold was perfectly okay in his NFL debut last week, a 48-17 Jets win over the Lions more notable for the Jets defense knowing “everything” the Lions were running before they snapped the ball. But Darnold, following a first-ever-pass pick-six, got it together and looked as good ...
Whoa, The Browns Are Cutting Josh Gordon
The last update about Browns receiver Josh Gordon was that he’d be out for Sunday with a hamstring injury. He had just one catch, a 17-yard touchdown, in Cleveland’s Week 1 tie with the Steelers, but Browns head coach Hue Jackson sounded optimistic about Gordon’s future on the team as recently as We...
North Texas Genius Dupes Arkansas With Perfect Fake-Fair-Catch Punt Return
This happened in the first quarter in today’s North Texas-Arkansas game. Arkansas punter Blake Johnson launched a low and knuckling punt to the North Texas 10 yard line, where it was fielded cleanly by Keegan Brewer, whose body language following the catch was that of a man who had no intention of a...
This Fucking Fireman Ed Is Back, Again
Fireman Ed announced his “retirement” from, uhh, attending Jets games in a helmet and teaching Jets fans how to spell a one-syllable word back in 2012. He’s made appearances since then, but only do to heroic things like pass the torch to a younger generation of people who loudly spell a word at foot...
Michael Bidwill Still Thinks High School Pal Brett Kavanaugh Should Be Confirmed To The Supreme Court
Arizona Cardinals President Michael Bidwill directly mixed politics with football—maybe he wouldn’t think so, but that’s what he did—in July, when he used the team’s website to support Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, his old high school classmate at Georgetown Prep. Although Kavanaugh, who is...
Cops Will Try To Halt The Tailgating Bills Fans' War Against Tables
The Buffalo Bills will play their first home game of the season this Sunday against the Chargers. (The last time those two teams played, Nathan Peterman threw five picks in a half.) Hordes of Zubaz-clad Bills fans will presumably mark the home opener as is tradition: by getting mega drunk and tryin...
Geno Atkins Wrecked The Ravens
The clip above shows Bengals defensive tackle Geno Atkins chasing down a quarterback for a sack in the open field. So what if Ravens QB Joe Flacco isn’t all that fleet of foot? Atkins weighs 300 pounds. Like a bowling ball rolling downhill, he quickly covered a lot of ground to make that play. It ha...
Mike Vrabel Doesn't Have A Quarterback So He'll Play Two Quarterbacks
Titans coach Mike Vrabel is one week into his NFL head coaching career, and so far his contributions to the franchise have consisted of an obnoxious pregame workout routine and getting beat by the Dolphins. But he’s got a new wrinkle for Week 2: two quarterbacks at the same time....
Jerry Jones The Owner Might Want To Have A Word With Jerry Jones The GM
The hot new trend for NFL teams looking to establish and sustain success is to construct a deep roster around a young quarterback on a cost-controlled contract. The Eagles won last year’s Super Bowl doing this. The Rams, Bears, Chiefs, Buccaneers, and Titans are using the same blueprint this season....
Wisconsin's Quintez Cephus Will Stand Trial For Sexual Assault While Teammate Returns To The Field
Wisconsin wide receiver Quintez Cephus will stand trial for sexual assault while teammate and roommate Danny Davis will not face any charges. The charges stemmed from a criminal complaint filed in late August that stated Cephus sexually assaulted two women as Davis took photos....
Roger Goodell Is Trying His Best To Appear Woke
Kaepernick collusion case be damned, Roger Goodell is trying his best to be the corporate face of social progress for the NFL....
Why Is The <i>Sunday Night Football</i> Intro Song Always So Fucking Awful?
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
I Did Not Buy 6,500 Pairs Of Nikes To Send To The Dump, But Thousands Of Idiots Think I Did
First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump....
A Frank Talk About Jacking It With Your Pals
The NFL: It’s for sure happening again, and it’s fine. It’s not ideal, a lot of it is really honestly pretty bad and shitty to watch, but it’s happening. There’s no way around the fact that it’s certainly happening. The games count, and that some of it at least is fine; the Browns and Steelers tied,...
At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird
The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...