football Page 632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....

Hank Williams Jr. Has Recorded A Rollicking Obama/<i>Fox & Friends</i>/ESPN Diss Track Called "Keep The Change" (Updated)
You know what's inherently lame? Country music battle songs. In aggressive country music battles, the only gauge for how "bad" someone is is how angrily they can say "America" or "U.S.A." while still maintaining a legitimate twang. Nevertheless, disgraced "Are You Ready For Some Football?" singer ...

Did ESPN Bone The Big East Because They Wouldn't Sign A TV Deal?
Boston College AD Gene DeFilippo, who was part of the ACC's expansion committee that lured Pitt and Syracuse away from the Big East, says something that shouldn't be a big shocker: realignment is about money. But to see it put so blatantly, and to see the four-letter network invoked so unapologetica...

If You Dare Approach Frank Beamer On The Football Field, The Virginia State Police Will Disappear You
Your morning roundup for Oct. 9, the day we learned they won't keep you in the clink very long after threatening to cook your friend's mom. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Texas A&M AD: Hooligans Shit Put Manure In, And On, Our Buses In The Land Of Texas Tech
"Texas A&M's team buses were vandalized in Lubbock, Texas A&M athletics director Bill Byrne said on his twitter account. 'Someone vandalized our buses in Lubbock,' he wrote. 'Excrement inside and outside of buses plus spray painted vulgarities on outside. Classy.' The Aggies traveled to Lubbock for...

The Red River Rivalry Game Was Not That Close
From the very beginning of this game it seemed like Texas was never really going to have a chance. Time and time again we watched Texas turn the ball over in between bouts of Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musburger pimping The Longhorn Network....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: "Gopher" Rhymes With "0-Fer"
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Oregon RB LaMichael James's Arm Bent A Way It's Not Supposed To Bend Tonight
University of Oregon RB LaMichael James's arm injury in tonight's game vs. Cal was so nasty that we're presenting it in video and still form. Conor Hastings dutifully provides that there video....

This Is A Story About An Ohio High-School Football Game Resulting In Stigmata
"In one of the most disturbing acts by an individual high school athlete in recent times, an Ohio football player placed a sharp object — believed to be a tack — in his glove before walking through a postgame handshake line, pricking the hands of 27 opponents as he walked through and "congratulate...

"You Cheated On Me," Says Angry Person Who Hacked Denard Robinson's Twitter Account This Morning (UPDATED)
And as the above screen grab indicates, that person was rather prolific for a few minutes in articulating just how much of an asshole the Michigan quarterback has been. Though Robinson's account was unverified by Twitter and there had been several fake accounts under his name previously, this ESPN ...

TCU To Leave The Big East Even Though It Still Isn't A Member
TCU might have been a geographic misfit when it joined the Big East, but its admission was thought by some to be the logical conclusion of the vision of the league's late founder, Dave Gavitt. On second thought, the school's exit for the Big 12 nine months before its Big East membership took effect...

ESPN Cuts Ties With Hank Williams Jr., Which Is Like The Nazis Breaking Their Non-Aggression Pact With The Soviets
Says ESPN, regarding Hank's analogizin' the other day on Fox and Friends: "We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams, Jr. We appreciate his contributions over the past years. The success of Monday Night Football has always been about the games and that will continue."...

California Teen Who Required Brain Surgery After Football-Related Concussion Released From Hospital
After Adrian Padilla, a senior safety with the Oxnard, Cal. high-school football team, suffered a serious concussion during a game last month, he collapsed on the sideline and ultimately required emergency brain surgery....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Tony "Horny Little Bitch" Romo Evisceration
The mighty Knox City Greyhounds got back on the right side of the scoreboard by defeating the Woodson Cowboys 46-0. A marvelous victory. A redemptive victory....

The Hank Williams Jr. Apology Reads Like An Internet Comment In Which Someone Would Compare Obama To Hitler
Hank Williams Jr. posted this apology (for a bizarre Fox News appearance in which he invoked Hitler's name in an Obama analogy) on his Facebook page yesterday, but we hadn't been aware of it until today. Man, oh man, is it a treat. ...

Now We Know What Joe Paterno Really Does As Penn State's 84-Year-Old Football Coach
"I'm a cheerleader," he said. Nobody laughed. [Larry Brown Sports]...

Watch A High School Kicker Nail A 64-Yard Field Goal With Room To Spare
Austin Pacheco, a high school senior out of Carson City, Nev. who will probably be made very rich by an NFL contract in a few years, kicked a game-winning field goal on Friday night—from 64 yards and with room to spare. This is, if you recall, one yard longer than Sebastian Janikowski's record-tyi...

Florida's Dominique Easley Has Giant Metaphor Draped Around His Neck
Unpack this as you will. [Gainesville Sun; related]...

Jon Gruden's Bulge Was Showing Before Last Night's Game
Your morning roundup for Oct. 4, the day we learned where we live made us sick. H/T to Chris. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Hank Williams Jr. Intro Has Been Pulled From Tonight's <em>Monday Night Football</em>
News of the temporary (for now) HWJ absence comes via CBS Sports. You'll recall Junior compared Obama to Hitler. Oh well, let's go back to happier days, 75 pounds ago, before all these Nazi socialists started running the country....