football Page 680 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maurice Jones-Drew To Miss Fantasy Playoffs Because Of His Brilliant Play
Are you one of the 10,000 (ESPN) fantasy GMs who lost because MJD took a knee rather than score a touchdown? Well, so is he. But remember, he had 145 yards and a TD anyway, so quit bitching. [ESPN]...
Colorado May Consider Bake Sale In Order To Buy Out Coach
Colorado's football team stinks and no one really cares for head coach Dan Hawkins, but the usual solution—throwing money at the problem—just isn't going to work this time. They don't have any money left to throw....
Your Daily Mark Mangino Harassment Update
Former Kansas football players are coming out of the woodwork now to tell the us all how awfully "inappropriate" Mark Mangino is when he yells at his players. It's clear that when it comes to emotional devastation, he's the king....
Los Angeles: Where Football Goes To Die
The UFL's Locomotives had planned to play a "home game" at the Home Depot Center Friday, but canceled it after concerns about ticket sales. Fitting, since good taste drove the Rams and Raiders out of town too. [LA Daily News]...
Oregon-Based Rappers Request Permission To Show You Their "O"
Not many hardcore rap songs begin with the phrase "holy moly" and then rhyme "Lego" and "Eggos," but then not that many people write raps songs about ducks. Spit that fire, gentlemen.......
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Mark Mangino Has A Bit Of A Temper
Does this look like the face of someone who would berate and threaten his players? Or worse, a parking enforcer who was only doing his job when he gave the Kansas football coach two dozen parking tickets? You'd be surprised....
The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....
Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....
Is This The End Of Mark (And Baby) Mangino?
Kansas has launched an internal investigation of football coach Mark Mangino, which combined with five straight losses and an upcoming shellacking against Texas, could spell doom for the rotund coach. But what will become of his infant doppleganger?...
Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....
Two Of Three Tennessee Robbers Kicked Off Team
Nu'Keese Richardson and Mike Edwards have been "permanently dismissed" from Tennessee's football team after being arrested for armed robbery last week. (No decision on teammate Janzen Jackson.) So that's the quickest way to squander a football scholarship. [GoVolsXtra]...
Old People Fantasy Football Is Adorable
A Massachusetts nursing home has started a fantasy football league for its residents, to give them something to do on Sundays. If their teams are anything like mine, that "something to do" is likely "wishing for death."...
The TD Stands for Touchdown
The ex-CEO of TD Ameritrade wants to be a D1 football coach. I don't think any SEC coaches are willing to switch jobs with him, as being a Fortune 500 CEO would mean a pay cut for them. [Omaha World-Herald]...
Optimistic Coyotes Fan Misses Point Entirely
An Internet commenter on the new shuttle service that takes fans to Phoenix's arena:"When I lived in Denver, the Broncos ran shuttles from the park-an-rides to the stadium. The Denver Broncos always sold out games. Good move!" [KTAR]...
Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...
The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...
Bobby Bowden Acts His Age, Forgets Score
Bowden may not remember what happened two quarters ago, but he remembers when FSU was good. That used to be enough for boosters, but after a mental lapse quite in character with an octogenarian, who knows....
He Got You, My Pretty
Former Wisconsin Badger Darin Schubring lost a bar fight was sucker-punched by a man wearing a Flying Monkey costume. That's slightly more embarrassing than being referred to, 25 years later, as "Baraboo local legend." But only slightly. [Baraboo News Republic]...
You Better Learn To Recognize Michigan's AD, Honey
Since picking on Rich Rodriguez has become a little too easy lately, here's a new plotline for Michigan mockers to pursue....athletic director Bill Martin reduced to pulling the "Do you know who I am?" routine in his own stadium....