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Bottoms Up, Hawkeyes: Ruminations On Metrodome Bathroom Sex, Plus, How To Make A Bull Gator
Time for another edition of Waxing Off, the feature born of that venerable site The Black Table and carried over here and given a sporty new coat of paint. This week we've asked five talented female writers to ruminate on: Lois Feldman and the Iowa Hawkeye Metrodome Sexcapade....

How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...

College Football Preview: Why Conference Championships Suck Edition
Of all the ridiculous aspects of the BCS system, the conference championship game pisses me off more than any other because it points out the flagrant hypocrisy of the college presidents. In the same time period when they've fought a college football playoff because of the time it would add to the ...

Rudy Carpenter Still Having Trouble Behaving At Basketball Games
Folks may remember Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter and his preference for not-gay pink shirts. Well, it seems that going psycho at college basketball games isn't enough juice for Rudy, so he took his act on the road—and recently got himself ejected from the gym at a girl's high school baske...

Meet Your New Washington Football Coach (Allegedly)
Coaches who follow in the debris-littered wake of Tyrone Willingham don't tend to fare well; just ask Buddy Teevens and Charlie Weis. But apparently Steve Sarkisian is willing to give it a shot, as ESPN and the Seattle Times are both reporting that his ascension to the head coaching position with th...

At Illinois, No Jock Left Behind
Here is stately Wayne Manor The Irwin Academic Services Center at the University of Illinois. Here, Illini students can use computer labs and classrooms, schedule sessions with tutors and special counselors, and even relax in oversize leather chairs and gaze at expensive oriental rugs. Wait … you’re...

This UFL Logo Is Easy To Swallow, But Hard To Take In
Remember that Communications 101 class you took where you'd spend hours inspecting the Land O Lakes package with a magnifying glass to search for penis-shaped trees? That was fun. But thankfully the United Football League has taken a less than subtle approach with its subliminal message. Yes, it ver...

Do Not Mess With An Auburn Coach's Wife
Tommy Tuberville "resigned" yesterday as the head coach at Auburn University. Unfortunately, no one bothered to tell his assistants, who were out on the road recruiting, completely unaware that they no longer had jobs. As you can imagine, their families are not too happy about that, so a couple of a...

Layla Kiffin Is Turning Into A Very Popular Woman
Remember back when www.fireronzook.com was the height of internet genius? Now we've moved on to a coach's wife. And by we I mean anonymous internet web sites. In the wake of Lane Kifffin's introductory press conference, Layla Kiffin has received an ample amount of attention. How much? On Monday aft...

It's Going To Be A Cold Winter In Knoxville
The effects of the recession are being felt everywhere, even at universities with big-time football programs. In Monday's online edition of the Knoxville News Sentinel, it was reported that new Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin will make $2 million next season. Then, in the local news section the fol...

Greg Robinson Reads Children's Classics
You've gotta feel for Greg Robinson. He seems like a nice enough guy, and by all accounts he's a decent coach. His heart's in the right place, and all that. But if you ever wanted a more vivid picture of what the strain of coaching a major college football team is like, take a look at the video belo...

Charlie Weis Will Live to Fail Another Day
Even though his formal meeting with Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbick isn't scheduled until December 8, the leaked reports coming out of South Bend say that head coach Charlie Weis will miraculously return for 2009. Weis, 28-21 in his four years at Notre Dame, ended the 2008 season in predi...

You've Got Some Red On You: That Rebel Pete Carroll Is At It Again
Trojan blogs are calling it a "ballsy" move, but I prefer the term harebrained, or possibly "retarded." USC coach Pete Carroll announced today that his team will wear their home jerseys in their game with UCLA at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, even though they're the visitors and by NCAA rules must wear...

Sad Stalking Case Of Former Badger Provides Excuse To Run Maria Sharapova Photo
By now you may have heard of former Wisconsin defensive back Leonard Taylor Jr., who was charged on Monday with one felony stalking count and one count of misdemeanor telephone harassment for threatening Wisconsin athletic director Barry Alvarez and tennis star Maria Sharapova. This is a sad story f...

Drew Rosenhaus Is A Master At The Art of Circumlocution
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

College Football Roundup: Every Game Counts...Except When They Don't and Texas Gets Messed With
Oklahoma beat Oklahoma State late Saturday night 61-41. This score was enough to vault the Sooners ahead of Texas in the BCS Standings and, as a result, send them into the Big 12 Title Game against Missouri courtesy of the fifth tiebreak. (The sixth tiebreak was, in a nice nod to BCS totalitariianis...

Lane Kiffin Hiring: A Volunteer Fan's Perspective
In a move that proves he has gigantic balls of steel, UT athletic director Mike Hamilton has replaced a national championship winning coach with an all-time record of 152-52 who graduated from and played for his university with a 33 year old who went 5-15 in 1.25 seasons as the coach of the Oakland...

Know Your New Tennessee Football Coaches
Lane Kiffin moves all of his crap into the head football coach's office at Tennessee today, only the third time someone has done that in the past 31 years. Phil Fulmer said goodbye on Saturday and Kiffin will be announced as his successor today, most likely what he's had in mind since the last Sunda...

When I Think Of Alluring Fragrances, I Think Of College Football
Looking for perfume for your sweetie for Christmas? Then you'll want to spring for the best, and what woman wouldn't want to go out on the town smelling like a Rose Bowl-eligible football team? Introducing Penn State fragrances for men and women. Ahh, smells like victory. Or Joe Patero's loafers....

High School Team Loses Championship to Inadvertent Whistle, Grand Conspiracy
Your high school football team gives up a field goal with six seconds left in the sectional championship game, leaving them down by two. In an unlikely sensational turn of events, the ensuing kickoff is returned 50 yards for a game-winning touchdown with no time on the clock. Just as the celebration...