football Page 730 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ron Zook Continues To Piss Intensity
After Illinois' oddly easy win over Northwestern — to win the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk, whatever that is — on Saturday, the most amazing Illini season we can remember draws to a close. Which means, of course ... it's time for the Ron Zook Water Skiing Photo! The man pisses intensity....
Michigan Bids Adieu To Lloyd Carr
It's official: Several Michigan players went to visit Lloyd Carr in his cage on Sunday and it turns out that the only reason he had been standing up at all is that he had been nailed there. Yes, Carr is an ex-parrot. (And Brian Cook had it first, by the way, despite what "ESPN has learned.") Say wha...
And Then There Were ... Four
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
Tom Brady is Mr. Sunday Night
It's been quite a day of football and I'm not sure my heart can take much more after what the Redskins just put me through. Fortunately tonight's game will be the football equivalent of a low-sodium diet. New England is walking into Buffalo having had two weeks to gameplan for a wounded opponent. T...
Where's Your Purple Jesus Now?
Let's all give it up to Texas Tech for effectively eliminating Oklahoma from National Championship contention. The Sooner's became the latest top five team to get slapped around by an unranked opponent (the 11th time it's happened this season. The Red Raiders got things going in their direction earl...
Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....
Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....
Not A Good Night To Be A Duck
With everything else going on and dominating those sports pages of ours, it almost passed notice that the BCS race imploded again last night with Oregon's loss to Arizona. It also obliterated Dennis Dixon's Heisman chances; he's not likely to play the rest of the season. All told, a rather eventful ...
MNF Used To Keep Prisoners In Line. Really.
When "Monday Night Football" made its move from ABC to ESPN two years ago, we argued that it wasn't really a big deal at all; the notion of cable as "pay TV," something that few can watch, seemed archaic. Jeez, who doesn't have cable anymore? Well, here's something we hadn't considered: Prisons....
Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...
The Buckeyes And Wolverines Are Still Playing This Weekend
This year's Ohio State-Michigan game, thanks to Illinois' win last week (woo!) and the lack of a legendary coach dying right beforehand, doesn't quite have the inherent drama of last year's. But it's still freaking Ohio State-Michigan....
This Tattoo Should Cause No Problems Whatsoever
Know how I know your team is gay? It's, um, tattooed right on your arm there. Let this be a lesson to you kids: Beer, Aussie Rules football and Thai tattoo parlors generally don't mix. That's always been my motto, anyway....
Somebody Put The 49ers Out Of Their Misery
It seems kind of crazy, in retrospect, that anyone could have thought the 49ers were going to make some sort of leap this year. (Some idiots even picked them to win the division.) The biggest disappointment is that Mike Nolan is now looking so damned sharp for no good reason. What happened to these ...
The Dullest MNF Game Of Them All
It's not easy to come up with reasons to get excited about tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. We've been trying....
What's NOT The Matter With Kansas?
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
The Best JetBlue Flight Of All Time
We've watched our favorite teams play in some strange places. We once saw our Buzzsaw lose on the back of a boat off Lake Shelbyville while an old girlfriend vomited off the back. (We helped her out, once the outcome had been clearly decided.) But Illinois' breathtaking upset of Ohio State on Satur...
Past, Present And Future Football Action
Brett Favre joined Dan Marino as the only quarterbacks in NFL history to throw for 60,000 yards during the Packers' 34-0 shellacking of the Vikings today. (Yes! I started the GB defense this week!) Adrian Peterson injured his knee thanks to an Al Harris helmet shot, but Jesus eventually rose and mad...
Dennis Dixon Takes Tougher Classes Than Matt Leinart
You might remember a couple of years ago, when everyone had their proverbial panties in a proverbial bunch about Matt Leinart taking only one class his senior year, ballroom dancing. This ultimately didn't turn out well for Leinart; all that extra time just gave him more impregnation opportunities. ...