football Page 735 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome Back, Luther Campbell
Having 2 Live Crew lead dog and longtime Hurricanes booster Luther Campbell away from the U for so many years ... it just seems wrong, doesn't it? It's like Pete Rose being out of baseball, except Luther Campbell is much better for the planet....
You Stole The Wrong Car, Dude
We know this will come as a shock to you, but apparently sometimes they steal cars in the Detroit. We know; we're as stunned as you. Anyway, if you're gonna steal a car in Detroit, we'd highly recommend you make sure the people you steal it from don't play for the Detroit Demolition women's football...
Another Perfect Moment Spoiled By Assheads
Like many of you, our favorite moment from last year's college football season was the thrilling Fiesta Bowl, in which Boise State beat Oklahoma with the Statue of Liberty play and running back Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend after scoring the winning points. It was one of those s...
Charlie Weis, Unsuccessful In Obese Litigation
Say what you will about Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis, but you can't say he isn't constantly charging forward. Whether it's recruiting, attacking a Cover 2 or, you know, gastric bypass surgery, the guy makes up his mind and just GOES FOR IT, MAN. Suck Off The Fat Like A Champion. Unfortunately, such...
Less Than A Week Until NCAA Football 08 Is Out!
Tuesday is the official on-sale date for NCAA Football 2008 — with special Boise State action! — and Peter Schrager at Fox Sports catches up with the guy who puts in all the player names to fill the "Illinois QB No. 7" listings. Apparently there's been some sort of controversy involving the guy, bu...
Softball Players Are No Good At Word Games
Burnt Orange Nation ran an interview with former Texas softball pitcher Cat Osterman on Monday, at the end of which Osterman was asked to play a little word association (a recurring BON interview theme). While obviously a talented hurler, Osterman sadly bobbled this assignment. Instead of shooting b...
The Nationwide Punter Menace Tredges On
Remember Mitch Cozad? He's the Northern Colorado backup punter who, last September, allegedly stabbed the starting punter to take his starting spot. It was more proof, once again, that you can never, ever trust a goddamned punter....
Shane Matthews Is Causing You Phone Spam
It's becoming difficult to tell all these new upstart football leagues apart. There's Mark Cuban's, there's the other AFL, there's that weird one with Maurice Clarett that never got off the ground ... there's just a ton of them....
Les Miles Needs To Work On His Sarcastic Rants
If you're going to start ripping people, Les Miles, go all the way. That way Every Day Should Be Saturday wouldn't have to step in and pick up the slack with some writer's embellishment, turning what was some mildly interesting radio content into something truly memorable. The LSU football coach was...
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Philadelphia Soul 41, Orlando Predators 26. Until Arena Football hires Don Cheadle to do AFL Playoffs commercials, no one's going to care. • MLB. Mets 6, Phillies 5. And then Mets 5, Phillies 2. Billy Wagner finished both games. He's due a good week of rest. • WNBA. Washington Myst...
He Wasn't A Paid Drug Dealer; He Was Just Volunteering
We like Florida head coach Urban Meyer for many reasons, not least of which is the fact that his first name describes a type of city. (We hope to someday name our child "Rural Juror Leitch.") But the reason we really love him is that EDSBS figures he believes if you kick a player off your team for s...
Chip And Dale Don't Like Your Looks And Would Prefer That You Leave
Once the vibrant and thriving center of the city, Downtown Disney has fallen on hard times. Crime is rampant, property values have plummeted and the area is ripe with decay. Witness Minnie Mouse, turning tricks at the seedy Disney Inn. Goofy has been arrested 17 times for aggressive panhandling. And...
The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....
Cop Attacked, Bitten By Dolphin
I had never heard of Dolphins defensive tackle Fred Evans, but when a man tastes the Taser gun twice, and still manages to bite a cop ... well, that grabs your attention. From The Ledger, in Lakeland, Florida:...
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Columbus Destroyers 74, NY Dragons 43. And the 7-9 Destroyers clinch a playoff spot. Parity reigns in the Arena League. • MLB. Seattle 9, Cincinnati 1. Never a good sign when you give up a grand slam in the first inning, is it, Kyle Lohse... • WNBA. San Antonio Silver Stars 71, Con...
Dicky Lyons Is One Dope Dude
Dicky Lyons is a wide receiver for the Kentucky Wildcats, and despite his seemingly less-than-chiseled-athlete physique, he's one of their better players. And he also seems like as amiable a doofus as you could possibly meet....
Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...
Malcolm In The Middle Front Row
The Los Angeles Times has a nifty collection of celebrity photos taken at sporting events on their site today, which got us to thinking: Which LA team had the best celebrity sightings in the fall/winter seasons? One might automatically say the Lakers win this, but not so fast. Let's do a quick tally...
R.I.P., Terry Hoeppner
Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner, who had been recovering from surgery for a brain tumor, died this morning at a Bloomington area hospital. The Hoosiers had announced just last week that Hoeppner would not be able to coach this year; assistant Bill Lynch will coach in his place. Hoeppner was 59...
To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, TNT. Movie. Remember the Titans. If you want to play football on this team, you will answer me when I ask you who's your daddy. Who's your daddy, Gary? Who's your daddy? • 7:00, ESPN. College Baseball. NCAA World Series, Game 4: Cal State Fullerton vs. Oregon State. The Beavers are going to ...