football Page 736 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What, Like House Of Pain Was Gonna Do Anything?
Seems like there are a lot of scuffles outside of nightclubs these days. And more and more, it seems like these scuffles are accompanied by someone pulling out a gun and shooting it into the air ... because nothing defuses a situation better than spontaneous gunfire....

A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...

The Entry Ramps To The Stadium Will Be Full Of Sleeping People
It is important that, in life, one have humanitarian instincts. But it is far more important that one has a place to show and pick up stimulants at 3:30 in the morning. Yep: There's a bowl game named after a truck stop. It's the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. ...

They Grow Up So Fast These Days
Meet Malcolm Sheppard, defensive tackle for the Arkansas Razorbacks. According to Loser with Socks, that's Malcolm one year ago, and Malcolm today....

That's One Way To Sell A Condo
We don't know Alabama well enough to understand the real estate market, but it's little surprise that one of the main selling points in Tuscaloosa is proximity to Bryant-Denny Stadium, home of the Crimson Tide. And it turns out that a condominium company is using a peculiar strategy to sell their ho...

JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....

Someone In Oklahoma Is Sad
The great folks at Post Secret — via Burnt Orange Nation — have dug up this little mailing, which features a sad, scorned lover of an Oklahoma football player lamenting the need for their union to remain a secret. Oklahoma last won a national championship in 2000, which theoretically narrows it down...

Quincy Carter Struggling With His af2 Responsibilities
Because being employed by the Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings wasn't enough to hammer convince Quincy Carter that he needs to pull it together, the Battle Wings have suspended him two games for missing team meetings....

Watch Out For That Post, Mate
There's a prevailing stereotype out there that athletes are dumb. Yesterday, Australian Rules Football player Matthew Westfield did his part to see that this stereotype was upheld globally. He ran full-speed into a goal-post, broke it out of the ground, and wasn't phased....

John Denver Would Be So Proud
I post this as a favor to the students and fans of the University of Montana football team. If any of you were out there thinking, "Oh, that's so embarrassing," please allow West Fuckin' Virginia to steal a little bit of your thunder....

Putting The 'Montana' Back In Tony Montana
When a college football team and a drug cartel are linked, quick, what school might you suspect it would be? Correct, it is the U of M, but it's not that one....

Ah, The Sweet Relief Of Augusta
You can't quite tell from this far a way, but a reader who recently caddied for him at Augusta National lets us know that the gentleman urinating into the woods in this picture is none other than South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. Here's the before photo:...

Hey, Everyone In Bristol Will Be Twinkies Tomorrow!
It shouldn't be difficult to spot any ESPN employees walking down the street tomorrow: Look for the guy/lady with the Arena Football shirt and that "sweet God someone please shoot me" look on their face....

Nothing's Scarier Than Texas High School Football
It's about that time of day when we remind you just how terrifying Texas high school football is. This is from Southlake Carroll High School near Dallas/Ft. Worth, where certain fans camped out all night just to pay $90 seat licenses (that doesn't even count the tickets) for four high school footbal...

Sometimes, Arkansas Fans Are Crazy In A Good Way
OK, so maybe all Arkansas Razorbacks fans are crazy people, but sometimes, that fan mania can present itself in more productive, uplifting ways. Or at least less, you know, tracking a coach's cell phone calls....

He's Afraid The Defensive Line Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive
A friend who's a big Star Wars dork — you're shocked that we have such friends, we're sure — forwards us this creative concoction put together by an inventive (and, certainly, lonely) Star Wars aficionado and college football watcher....

I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....

The Seventh Floor Crew Takes Over The NFL
At the end of the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday, the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears drafted tight end Greg Olsen. If you don't recognize Olsen's name, you can hark back to the halcyon days of November 2005, when Olsen dropped some beats as a member of the Seventh Floor Crew. (He's n...

He Doesn't Give A Damn, Sing Whatever You Want
This somewhat old — from October — video, via Every Day Should Be Saturday, features two, um, casual Oklahoma State fans just kind of chilling, not giving a damn....

Seriously, Arkansas Fans Are Insane
We're not sure the true historic nature of what's going on at the University of Arkansas is being adequately appreciated. Basically, a bunch of ticked-off message board fans are doing everything they can to take down the athletic department of their university ... and they're doing a damned good job...