fuck Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Padres Trade For Justin Upton, Are All The Way Out Here
The San Diego Padres continue to be very committed to making baseball fans everywhere mutter, "The shit is going on with the Padres?" on a daily basis. Today, the team traded a package of young players to the Braves for Justin "The Good Upton" Upton. ...
Report: Matt Kemp Trade Held Up Because He Has Old-Lady Hips
The Padres were all set to add two big new pieces to their outfield with Wil Myers and Matt Kemp both coming in via semi-blockbuster trades, but the Kemp deal has hit a last-minute snag, thanks to the 30-year-old's arthritic hips....
What Are The Dodgers Even Doing?
These aren't your father's Dodgers. Hell, these aren't the same Dodgers from when you went to bed. Andrew Friedman has been busy at his first Winter Meetings representing a team with resources, and he has revamped the Dodgers roster—well, basically overnight....
Cubs Sign Jon Lester, Are Really Going For It
Late last night, Yahoo's Jeff Passan reported that the Chicago Cubs signed Jon Lester to a six-year, $155 million deal. According to Passan, the Cubs managed to snag Lester by outbidding the Red Sox, who most everyone thought was the favorite to land Lester, by $20 million. The Cubs, it appears, are...
Matt Kalil Is Sorry About Totally Owning That Heckler
Vikings tackle Matt Kalil, who played poorly on Sunday and then just owned a heckler so damn hard after the game, wants everyone to know that he is sorry about all the ownage....
Heckler Who Got Owned By Matt Kalil Says He's Going To Press Charges
@Kirby_Fuckett, the guy who got owned by Vikings tackle Matt Kalil after yesterday's game, tells City Pages that he plans on pressing charges against Kalil. He also wants everyone to know that he is "never scared" and that Kalil is "soft."...
Reports: Red Sox To Sign Hanley Ramirez And Pablo Sandoval
It appears the Red Sox will not content themselves with just one premier free agent signing; credible reports have Boston inking both Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval to five-year deals, to be finalized as early as today....
Man Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On <em>SportsCenter</em>
Poor Bob Holtzman....
Lil B Confirms Kevin Durant's Injury Caused By The Based God's Curse
Lil B was at MIT last night, giving what The FADER called "a groundbreaking lecture" at the school's Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. The lecture sounds like it was quite the event, "presenting nuanced observations on workplace efficiency, human empathy, and GMOs," as well as...
The A's Just Claimed Subject 6 From The Duke Fuck List
The Oakland A's just claimed outfielder and first baseman Alex Hassan, plucking him from the Boston Red Sox farm system. You might be wondering why we are telling you about a 26-year-old career minor leaguer getting claimed off waivers, and the reason is that Alex Hassan happens to be Subject 6 fr...
Braves Trade Jason Heyward To The Cardinals
The St. Louis Cardinals announced today that they have traded pitchers Shelby Miller and Tyrell Jenkins to the Atlanta Braves in exchange for outfielder Jason Heyward and pitcher Jordan Walden. ...
Fuck Kevin Durant
Tomorrow night, the world will be subjected to The Offseason: Kevin Durant, an HBO show marketed as a documentary that depicts what The Servant has been up to since the end of the Western Conference Finals. You might think it would be interesting, seeing that over the summer Durant (briefly) played ...
Little Kid At Giants Parade Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Air
The practice of yelling "fuck her right in the pussy" at inappropriate moments should no longer be a thing, but this instance is notable because of how young the perpetrator is. The kid jumps in there with the quickness, does his damage, and dashes off, leaving the poor reporter to try and salvage...
Do Baseball Salaries Have "Precious Little" To Do With Ability?
This post originally ran on Phil Birnbaum's sabermetric blog. It is reprinted here with permission....
B1G Officials Lose Minds, Award OSU An INT On Obvious Incomplete Pass
Big Ten officials were stricken blind and stupid early in tonight's Ohio State-Penn State game as a pass from the Nittany Lions' Christian Hackenberg that clearly hit the ground was declared an interception by the Buckeyes' Vonn Bell....
Escaped NYC Carriage Horse Hassled By The Fuckin' Pigs
This extremely chill carriage horse escaped from his oppressors in New York City this weekend, and proceeded to take advantage of his freedom by going on a morning jaunt down 11th Avenue. ...
Here's What I Learned Watching FIFA's Incredible Propaganda Movie
Recently, soccer fans all over the world were impressed to learn that United Passions, a FIFA-financed movie about how wonderful FIFA is starring Gérard Depardieu, Sam Neill, and Tim Roth, had pulled in $200,000 at the box office since it premiered at Cannes in May. This sum may be a bit less than t...
Cardinals Fans Get Ugly In Clash With Ferguson Protesters
This guy right here, the one with "I am Darren Wilson" taped onto the back of his Cardinals jersey—an homage to the Ferguson, Mo., police officer who shot an unarmed teenager named Mike Brown to death in August—was at the Cardinals game last night. He, along with many other Cardinals fans, clashed...