fuck Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For Deep Insight Into The True Nature Of The Virtue-Moir Relationship, Watch Them Be Forced To Watch A Montage Of Their Life Together<em></em>
Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the greatest ice dancers of all-time, spent the Olympics erotically wiggling together on the ice and winning the gold medal with a world-record score before denying that any sort of fucking was going on. There’s a certain, um, electricity to their interactions, even if t...
The Rays Are Being Stripped For Parts
The Miami Marlins are not the only Florida-based baseball team who will be punting on the 2018 season. Since the start of the offseason, the Rays have traded Evan Longoria to San Francisco, let Logan Morrison walk in free agency, designated all-star Corey Dickerson for assignment, and traded Jake Od...
Are Virtue And Moir Fucking Or What?<em></em>
Last night, we all watched Canadian ice dancers Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir win gold by having simulated skate sex in front of god and NBC and everyone, and now we’re all pregnant, and I can’t believe what everyone is trying to tell me: that they’re not actually boning. Come the fuck on; I have eyes...
Chicago News Station Calls It The “P.F. Chang Olympics”
So here’s something weird: The other night, Chicago’s ABC 7 ran a graphic about the “P.F. Chang Olympics” during a report on the Pyeongchang Olympics. P.F. Chang’s China Bistro is an American casual dining restaurant. (Like many chain restaurants, there is no one person named P.F. Chang—it’s a combi...
Report: Free Agent Yu Darvish Signs $150 Million Deal With Chicago Cubs
Hey, would you look at that! A good baseball player has signed a free agent contract with a good baseball team! So it’s not impossible!...
Your 2018 NBA Trade Deadline Roundup
Wow, what a frickin’ day. The NBA trade deadline came and passed, LeBron James traded half the players in the league for the other half, and there’s a lot of wreckage to sort through! As is tradition around here, we’re here to help out, with our in depth takes on each trade....
Reports: MLBPA Starting Plans To Host Spring Training For Unsigned Free Agents
As the time for pitchers and catchers to report draws closer, it’s looking more and more likely that unsigned free agents will host a spring training camp of their own....
Yankees Trade For Some Scrub Prospect
The New York Yankees acquired Texas Rangers prospect Russell Wilson for “future considerations” today. Wilson has long wanted to be a Yankee, per ESPN, and the two organizations got the trade done to accommodate Wilson’s wishes. ...
Enter The Fucktomb
Philadelphians pose atop a garbage truck after struggling with their kerning, following the Eagles’ Super Bowl win over the Patriots. Photo by Aaron P. Bernstein/Getty Images....
MLBPA Sends Limp-Dick Memo About Payroll Slashing, Is Summarily Shooed Off
Next winter will be the real bellwether for the state of MLB payroll spending—handwringing over shrinking payroll today might disappear all at once if the movement of next winter’s studs lifts all boats—but the early indicators of this winter are troubling. The hot stove is cool, there’s a boatload ...
Engelb Vielma Tracker: All Your Hot Engelb Vielma Moves And Anagrams Here
“The offseason has been so slow,” you say. “Nothing is happening. Nothing has been happening.” But have you considered that the offseason actually has not been so slow if you take into account the activity of non-prospect minor-league defensive specialist Engelb Vielma? A quick look, with some in-se...
Oh, Hell Yeah, The Brewers Are Going For It
Scarcely an hour after acquiring Christian Yelich in a trade with the Marlins, the Brewers have gotten themselves another outfielder: Lorenzo Cain, signed to a five-year, $80 million deal as reported by ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick and first broken by The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal....
Christian Yelich Freed From Miami, Joins Surprisingly Fun Brewers Club
The hot stove is warm, baby. A week after Christian Yelich’s agent announced the outfielder’s relationship with the Marlins was “irretrievably broken,” he’s been shipped off to the Brewers in exchange for a solid haul of prospects: outfielders Lewis Brinson and Monte Harrison, second baseman Isan Di...
Bill Simmons Is A Fucking Embarrassment<em></em>
Look man, I know Ley already posted about it earlier but for real, get a fucking load of this Bill Simmons column that dropped today. It’s a fucking disgrace. There have been so many awful Bill Simmons takes throughout history, including this one, this one, and this one. You could make a Hall of Fa...
Someone Please Turn The Hot Stove Back On, The Stove Is Very Cold
Is it that this year’s free-agent class is underwhelming? Is it a lack of suitable trade partners? Is it the widespread concerns about the changes to the luxury tax penalties acting as a soft salary cap? Is it that the next few years should have blockbuster signings? Is it that everyone is on vacati...
A Major-League Team Is Not A Business<em></em>
You don’t need any insight into the inner workings of the Miami Marlins to understand why the franchise is currently in the midst of stripping itself of every decent player making even a modest salary. The team was just purchased by a bunch of people who couldn’t really afford it, and now they need ...
Rays Trade Away Face Of The Franchise For Bad Reasons
Various baseball insiders are reporting that the stove is hot this morning. Rays third baseman Evan Longoria has been shipped to the Giants in exchange for Denard Span and some other stuff:...
Christian Yelich And J.T. Realmuto Are Fed Up With The Marlins
The Miami Marlins spent the last two weeks trading most of their players worth a shit elsewhere, and now, the rest of their players who are worth a shit are reportedly unhappy with the team’s management....
Dodgers Shift Money Around To Set Up Massive Future Splurge
The hot stove may have taken a while to preheat, but it is now, um, cooking! New York Post baseball guy Joel Sherman is reporting that the Dodgers have acquired Matt Kemp from the Atlanta Braves, in exchange for Adrián González, Scott Kazmir, Brandon McCarthy, Charlie Culberson, and cash. ...
CC Sabathia Returning To Yankees To Complete "Unfinished Business"
C.C. Sabathia’s free agency presumably got a lot simpler after the Yankees, who came achingly close to advancing to the World Series back in October, went out and snagged the reigning National League MVP. To absolutely no one’s great surprise, Sabathia would prefer to spend his age-38 season getting...