fucking Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....
The Cowboys Scoreboard Punter Drinking Game
You don't need a reason to drink this weekend, but you may need a reason to watch a 49ers-Cowboys preseason game that doesn't include "it was the only thing the sheriff would let me watch from the holding cell."...
Brett Myers Just Can't Stop Being An A-Hole
The Phillies cantankerous pitcher Brett Myers is attempting to bounce back this season to inject life into the team's depleted bullpen, but first he has to let his eye socket heal after it landed on a fist....
Mets Third Base Coach Does Not Like My Pants And Will Not Eat My Poop Sandwich (UPDATE)
One man who's managed to keep his sunny disposition during the Mets season from hell is smooth-talking third base coach Razor Shines. Now you can ask him yes/no questions in this virtual ad and he'll answer them. All of them....
Mets Dream Season Continues
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......
And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...
Petey Throws Five Innings Of Slop For The Win
It wasn't pretty, or inspiring, but he did end up with the win. And Charlie Manuel used the hillbilly logic to monitor his new, old pitcher: "Five innings and he was ready to be got." [Philly.com]...
Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...
Even Babies Know The Mets Deserve To Get Puked On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
The One With The Half-Naked Woman Selling A Dale Murphy Pennant
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Pedro Martinez: Philadelphia Phillies
Level of excitement had this happened in 2004: 9. Level of excitement in 2009: 4. Still? Number of red Martinez jersey-shirts sold at Modell's over the weekend?: 8,016 [Cherry Hill Courier Post/PHOTO: EveryJoe]...
Bah, He's Safe
Daniel Murphy resorts to Globetrotter trickery to help save the Mets season. This will not be enough. [ESPN]...
Where Is The Brotherly Love?
Just when race relations in the United States seemed all hunky-dory — welcome to the White House, Mr. President — a swim club in Philadelphia kicks out 60 minority campers because they would "change the complexion" of the club....
Cole Hamels Is Very Secure In His Masculinity, Thank You
One fan was mortified to find out the Phillies pitcher's mode of pet transport: the dreaded tiny dog backpack. [Yellaphant]...
Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...
The New York Mets Have A Furry Run-In On Road Trip
Those injury-riddled New York Bastard Mets have struggled recently, so this recent road trip could serve as a self-reflective haven for players, coaches, and media. Unless the Pittsburgh hotel they're staying in is having a furry convention....
Pray For The Arena Football League
Bon Jovi and his fellow owners are working to keep the AFL afloat, even phone chatting at 7 p.m. each night, but he said chances of survival are "50-50." Also, the CFL kicks off tonight. Happy Canada Day! [Fifth Down]...
Kellen Winslow Kindly Requests You Make No More References To Him Being A F*$#ing Soldier
Besides being a talented, but injury-prone tight end, Kellen Winslow is best known for his patriotic tirade against those kamikaze Tennessee Volunteers. But Winslow's less combustible now, so he doesn't appreciate any references to it, even if it's playfully complimentary....
Tough Week For Phillies Fans All Around
First you have Marco Scutaro nabbing second after a walk as the Phillies infield snoozes, then you have two broads bashing each other in the stands at CBP because they're so distraught over it. [The Fightins]...