fucking Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
American Soccer Is Fine
Zack Steffen, an American soccer player who currently plies his trade on U.S. soil, is set to join the English Premier League’s reigning champions. The Columbus Crew have announced that the MLS Goalkeeper of the Year will be moved to Manchester City Football Club next summer for an undisclosed trans...
Report: Anonymous Executive Says "That Whole Anthem Issue" Will Keep Bruce Maxwell Out Of Baseball
Former Athletic Bruce Maxwell is currently without a team, and is distressed enough about it that he recently fired his agent. Teams need catchers—it seems like half the league is circling around Marlins catcher J.T. Realmuto—and Maxwell is a catcher, and while he would be exactly no one’s idea of a...
It's Pretty Messed Up That The Red Sox Might Be Shedding Payroll
The championship window is rarely open as long as you’d like or expect it to be—just ask the 2014 Red Sox. And the current defending World Series champs can see it coming. In the next two to three years, Boston is going to have to worry about the following players hitting the open market: Chris Sale...
The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....
Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
Nationals Owner Mark Lerner On Bryce Harper: "I Really Don't Expect Him To Come Back"
The Bryce Harper free agency sweepstakes are underway, and the Nationals seem to already know where they stand in the race. Their offer to Harper, which was first reported last month, is somewhere in the range of 10 years and $300 million. That is probably less than other interested parties will pu...
Manny Machado Had To Eat A Little Shit Over His "Johnny Hustle" Comment
Manny Machado fucked up when he admitted during the NLCS that he doesn’t hustle on every play. His fuck-up was not in not hustling, because do you know who else doesn’t run at full speed on every single play, every single sharp grounder to second, every can-of-corn pop-up to short center? Every majo...
Reports: The Chicago White Sox Exist
Given how easy it is for even their fans to forget about the Chicago White Sox’s existence, the most notable thing about baseball’s ongoing annual general manager meetings has probably been that several reporters for national outlets have written about the team, whose most recent campaign was highli...
The Bryce Harper Derby Is Officially Off And Running
Oooh, buddy, you’d better take care and keep your kids well back, because though it’s barely November, the stove is on and it is one hot fucking stove....
The Mariners Are Stuck In A Really Depressing Limbo
Fresh off of news that the Indians, who can win their division without breaking a sweat, declared that “market constraints” (read: parsimony) have them ready to auction off their veteran players, including their very good ones signed to bargain deals, here come the Mariners, and they are sellers too...
The Winter Of Mega-Stars Unexpectedly But Heart-Warmingly Staying With Their Original Teams Begins With Clayton Kershaw Re-Signing With The Dodgers
Clayton Kershaw’s velocity may be trending in the wrong direction, but he’s still a damn ace, and as such he was considered one of the huge targets in what many have expected to be a landscape-altering winter of baseball mega-stars chasing the free-agency big bucks to new towns and new teams. Not so...
Whoa, Hey, Some Football Players Got Traded
The NFL stove is notoriously ice fucking cold throughout the regular season, but teams have been feisty over the last few days, and some big-name players have been traded for significant draft picks. The league trade deadline passed at 4:00 p.m. EDT today, and would you believe it, some more guys go...
Giants Trade Damon Harrison, Prepare For Long Winter Of Tanking
The NFL trade market has been unusually active in the days leading up to this year’s deadline, thanks in large part to the willingness of the crap-ass Raiders and Giants to spend the rest of the season tanking. The Giants began their march to the toilet yesterday when they traded cornerback Eli Appl...
Iowa State Accelerates The Marching Band Arms Race With Inflatable Dinosaur Costumes
Iowa State upset 13th-ranked West Virginia 30-14 Saturday, which is of some consequence in the landscape of college football, but who cares—look at the dinosaurs. There are so many of them!...
Report: The Raiders Are Ready To Start Blowing It Up
The Oakland Raiders have been a disaster this season, which should surprise nobody, since they spent the offseason backing up the Brinks truck for washed-up geezer Jon Gruden, trading the best defensive player in the NFL, and completing the saddest player transaction of the summer. Their lone win th...
Ex-Bills WR: There’s Nothing To Do In Buffalo But Fuck
Jordan Matthews signed with the Eagles today. The receiver, who was with Philadelphia for the first three seasons of his NFL career, was signed to boost the team’s depleted receiving corps. Matthews spent last season with the Bills—the Eagles had traded him and a draft pick for cornerback Ronald Dar...
Reports: Andrew McCutchen To Become The Yankees' Very Likable Backup Plan
According to multiple reports, the San Francisco Giants will trade soon-to-be free agent Andrew McCutchen to the Yankees ahead of Friday night’s final deadline to acquire players who will be eligible for the postseason. The Giants will receive a package headlined by mid-tier infield prospect Abiatal...
Aw, You Guys, The Pirates Are Actually Trying To Get Better
The Pittsburgh Pirates, a “small-market” MLB team whose owner prefers hoarding his money to spending it on good players, actually made a deal today to improve the team. I know, right?! These scrappy little tightwad nobodies acquired an honest-to-gosh name people have heard of in Rays starter Chris A...