fun Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Kids Today Are So Much Better With Computers Than You Were
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Arian Foster Gave The Same Answer 11 Times In A 90-Second Interview
Arian Foster formally talked to media today for the first time since last season ended, but he didn't give them anything useful. The Texans running back basically repeated the same answer, about trying to be the best teammate he can be, for a minute and a half before peacing out. Though some Texans ...
What If Baseball's Unwritten Rules Applied To Real Life?
No time for charming intros, so let's get right to it. ...
Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...
Don't Cut Your Hamburgers In Half
Before we get to the Funbag, you should know that very soon, it's going to be time for the 32-part satanic incantation of our WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS NFL previews. So much sucking to do! So if your team sucks (and I do mean your team; don't be the asshole Redskins fan who writes in to bitch about the ...
"Weird Al" Yankovic's <em>Mandatory Fun</em> Is Not The End (We Hope)
Does anyone actually hate "Weird Al" Yankovic? You'll usually find two reactions to him: adoration or indifference, with the indifference mostly confined to wayward millennials. Considering that he's been churning out parodies (and originals!) for nearly 35 years, that in itself is impressive. He'...
Would LeBron Still Be In Miami If The Heat Had Won Their Third Title?
I started drinking coffee a year ago so I could wean myself off of Coke Zero, and the main thing I've learned in that time is that coffee makes you a complete asshole. I get all pissy now when I haven't had coffee. I get all pissy when I've had too much coffee. I get pissy if I'm having coffee,...
Why Redshirting Your Kindergartener Is Dumb
Before we get to the Funbag, Craggs wanted me to do a cattle call for audio and/or video of your local nutjob coach screaming at players. So if your indoor equestrian coach is chewing you out for hours at a time, and you had the moxie to take a video of said rant, send it on in. We won't yell at you...
The Definitive List Of Excuses For Day Drinking
I missed one of the World Cup games the other day due to family obligations, so I caught up on highlights that night when ESPN did a cut-and-paste re-broadcast of game highlights on ESPN FC, with an anchor introducing the clips like it was an episode of Masterpiece Theater. "When we last left Brazil...
A Misspelled Name Is The Greatest Honor
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Mike Tirico Thinks Costa Rica Is An Island Nation
ESPN's Mike Tirico described Costa Rica during today's pre-game show as an "island nation." No, that's not right....
Where Hulk, Cristiano Ronaldo And Other World Cup Stars Got Their Names
It's fitting that the World Cup hosted by Brazil, a country with such a unique anthroponomastic culture, is lousy with guys bearing interesting names and sobriquets. And while hearing these names and wondering where they came from offers one source of enjoyment, we've tried to actually find out what...
Why Tim Duncan Will Never Be Loved Like Michael Jordan
I was driving home the other day when a horrific accident played out at an intersection in front of the stoplight where I was stopped. I didn't see the initial collision, but I heard the crash and turned my head to see an SUV go rolling down the street, breaking apart like it was Talladega Nights. ...
Beef Vs. Pork: WHO YA GOT?!
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering mucus, decapitation, suicide by sledgehammer, and more. ...
This Local News Story Is No Laughing Matter
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Which Two States Combined Would Make The Best Power State?
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Screencap Classix: You Are Not The Father
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No, Really? You Think So?
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Congratulations To Dan Patrick, GOP Nominee For Lieutenant Governor
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