fun Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is PSU The Biggest Sports Scandal In Modern History?
There was a cave cricket in my basement last night. They're horrible, nasty creatures that have +8 jumping ability. You have to act FAST in order to exterminate the little cocksuckers and protect your family, and so I quickly pinned him against the wall with a toy rocking chair and he was all mangle...

This Is Why You Don't Ask A Professional Athlete To Be A School "Reading Champion"
I absolutely cannot think of a better inspiration for getting schoolchildren to read than by choosing a man who got very rich without ever having read a book in his life....

Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...

A Lesson In Dealing With Friends Who Suck At The Internet
Your letters:...

A Call For The Abolition Of The Tomato Slice In Sandwiches
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Comcast In Charlotte North Carolina And Beyond May Not Realize The Hartford Whalers Became The Carolina Hurricanes
Writes tipster David L., "this picture shows the description of the Carolina vs. St. Louis replay last night on Comcast cable. Worst part was that it was a Carolina broadcast."...

Let The Record Reflect The Fact That The Kansas City Royals Actually Play Home Games In Missouri
From this super-easy-to-follow Fox graphic about "Colby Lewis Travels" — which probably should've been Colby Lewis's Travels, but he has traveled, so whatever — the map indicates he spent a sliver of 2007 in Kansas City, Kansas as a Royals pitcher....

So, Yeah, The Big Lions Fan Put A Gun To His Head After Today's Loss
"Grab a gun. C'mon, let's get this over with," said that weird Big Lions Fan who had the whole Creedence thing going on during his post-game wrapup. He was kidding, and urged fellow Lions fans not to jump, while still brandishing his piece. Which was very nice of him....

Chip Kelly Has Big Balls, According To College GameDay Sign
The University of Oregon doesn't take the field until later tonight, but the College GameDay chanting-and-drawing backdrop warriors were already out for coach Chip Kelly's morning #OccupyHerbstreit appearance....

Sure, "The Beast from the Middle East" Is A Perfectly Fine Nickname For A Football Player Surnamed "Nazi"
"'Chris (on left in photo) is a really good kid whose motor keeps running at 100 percent,' said Camden head coach William Blow. 'And he hardly ever comes off the field because of how important he is on offense and defense, so it runs pretty high a lot.' Nazi has also made a name for himself that's ...

Was Steve Jobs A Glory Hog?
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick reminder that I will be at New York Comic Con on Friday morning, hosting the "Zombies, Fallen Angels, and Other Paranormals" panel in Room 1A23 at the Javits Center. What's that? You were going to go to the Final Fantasy XIII-2 panel? What are you, some kind of f...

Stanford Overcomes 99-Point Deficit To Beat UCLA By 26
Your morning roundup for Oct. 2, the day we mull parole eligibility for cannibal ladies. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
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MLB's "Path To The Pennant" Programming Has Seemingly Taken An Unexpected Turn
Has Major League Baseball branched out into pornography? Will a potential AL wild-card tiebreaker come down to assplay? Tune in to MLB Network at 10 p.m. on Sunday to find out?...

An Interesting Guest Will Visit The Pittsburgh Steelers Tomorrow
Tipsters Rich C. and Robert B. were watching today's Red Sox/Rays game on Fox when they noticed something peculiar about tomorrow's early slate of NFL games....

Mississippi State Football Fans Aren't Strong Spellers
Granted, this sign at tonight's Mississippi State/LSU game would have been more phenomenally noteworthy had a prominent "O" been an afterthought to a prominent "U," but it's phenomenal in and of itself. Several tipsters are to be commended for sending this in. You know who you are....

What Are the Odds That You Know A Murderer?
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick reminder that the next reading for The Postmortal will be at 7 p.m. at Book Court in Brooklyn on Monday. Will Leitch will also be there as a special guest, and we can all tease him about eating raisins and fingerblasting himself to pictures of Ricky Ankiel. So jo...


