fun Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everything You Wanted To Know About Porn, Weed, And Toilets In Afghanistan, Courtesy A Platoon Leader
That photo of an anonymous U.S. soldier standing in front of a whole shitload of weed was taken by a platoon leader in Afghanistan with the Gawker handle Lono. He emailed me recently to clarify a number of things about fighting overseas, namely the quality of local porn, the abundance of local weed,...

Did Osama Bin Laden Have Porn?
I used an electric nose hair trimmer for the first time the other day. It was oddly titillating. Now my nostrils are hollowed out like Nikki Tyler. It's almost too much oxygen for me to handle in one load....

A Day At The Rug Races: A Filthy, Hooker-Filled Excerpt That Was Cut From The Upcoming ESPN Book
Next week, excerpts from the long-awaited ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All The Fun will start trickling out, including one next week when the June issue of GQ drops. There are a lot of very nervous people in Bristol right now, and if the following passage is any indication of the book's conten...

Your Special Edition Dead Bin Laden Funbag
Before we get to your letters, kudos to TMZ for asking if Obama had victory sex on Sunday Night. Because he totally should have. His seaman should have conducted a forceful raid of his wife's compound to celebrate that news....

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

Everything You Wanted To Know About Fantasy Mutant Sperm But Were Afraid To Ask
Before we get to your letters, I must break down, in great detail, this fantastic question that was posted to Reddit over the weekend, from Reddit user Maddawg579:...

The Lady Who Yelled At Cops To Stop Beating, Tasing The Patriotic Pirates Fan Was Fined $1,000
Remember the clearly patriotic Pirates fan who got billy clubbed and Tased at PNC Park earlier this month? Of course you do, but here's a link to it anyway. Dude's name is Scott Ashley. He's 40, from Friendship, but isn't due in court until May 25 to face charges of harassment, public drunkenness,...

Is Batman REALLY A Superhero?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering whales, video games, superheroes and more....

Amazingly, Someone Else Now Claims To Have Invented The "Charge" Chant
On Monday, we brought word that Bobby Kent, a musician from South Florida, claimed to have written the 'da da da da da da... CHARGE!' song that you hear at far too many sporting events....

An In-Depth Logistical Exploration Of Animal Rape
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering dead bodies, terrifying ear stories, and more....

Here's Video Of A Clearly Patriotic Pirates Fan Getting Billy Clubbed And Tased
Writes tipster Adam B. of the video he dutifully sent over this morning, "This is rather unheard of for a Pirates game, usually because there's not enough people in the stadium to get arrested." This presumably occurred during last night's 6-4 Rockies win at PNC Park....

The Much Ballyhooed Nuclear-Threat Double Dong Has Arrived
Is it immature to look at a New York Times graphic about the potentially life-altering impact that aftershocks near a damaged Japanese nuclear plant could have on containment structures therein, specifically a "worse-case situation" graphic?...

There's A Teenage German Girl Who Rides Cows Like They're Horses
Regina Mayer's parents wouldn't buy her a horse so she went into the family barn, picked out cow and cultivated a loving, respectful relationship. Today, Regina climbs upon Luna's back and engages in a modified version of eventing near the Austrian border....

Could The 2012 NFL Draft Become A Double Megadraft?!
I had to go an '80s-themed party with my wife on Saturday night. And I have no clue how they do this, but women always seem to have outfits for themed parties ready on their person at all times. "Oh, there's an '80s party? Let me just grab my oversized Esprit T-shirt, leg warmers, and hair crimper! ...

Jerking Off In Congress: A Bipartisan Debate
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering semen, allergies, boogers, and more....

"I Want My Wife To Stick Her Finger Up My Butt"
No time for tiddlywinks. Your letters:...

Jim Tressel's Profound Pauses Not As Profound As He Intends Them To Be: A Video Compilation
Jim Tressel, the recently/somewhat disgraced football coach at Ohio State, spoke to the press last night. Mostly, though, instead of saying actual words, he gazed out into the crowd during pregnant pauses in his speech. And Shatner he is not....

British Olympic Hopefuls Strip For Cash
Twelve British lady swimmers (normal and synchronized), divers and water-polo players skinny-dipped for a photo shoot "sponsored by the National Lottery and British Gas [which] is supporting more than 1,200 athletes for 2012, as well as contributing up to £2.2 billion to the Olympic venues." Seems ...

