fun Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...
Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....
The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....
Quarterback Fudge Van Hooser Commits To Tulane, Becomes An Early Name Of The Year Favorite
Tulane received an oral commitment today from an Montgomery, Ala., quarterback named Fudge Van Hooser today. We can only hope that a few years down the road Fudge gets drafted by the Pa...nthers. Here's a video of him running track. [NewOrleans.com]...
And Now, An Appreciation Of The Bra
I went to the doctor the other day. I was sentenced to wait in one of the examination rooms for roughly 90 minutes while the doctor played CALL OF DUTY in the next room over under the guise of supposedly saving other people's lives, or some bullshit like that. Anyway, they had the reflex tester layi...
The Fine Art Of Addressing Your Children’s Genitals
It's a blockbuster funbag today. We go right to your letters....
What’s The Best Way To Avoid Being Raped In Prison?
I was told by friend this weekend that it's a long-held bit of conventional wisdom that Asian women have, on average, warmer genitals than other women. I did not know this was a supposedly universal stereotype for dragon ladies, nor did anyone else in my company. We all knew the usual stereotypes ab...
A Terrifying Story Of Unwanted Barber Arm Humping
No time to waste. I got a bachelor party to get to. There's gonna be a grill! And weed! And smores! I'd fist a horse for a smore. Your letters:...
USB-Charged Vibrators May Take Over The Universe
No time to waste. We go right to your letters....
The Fruitless Search For The Perfect Jackin’ Clip
Big funbag today. Here we go. Your letters....
Did ESPN Photoshop Dwight Gooden's Mug Shot On To A Suit?
Doc Gooden called into the Scott Van Pelt radio show today, but since it is also simulcast on ESPN2, they needed a suitable head shot to show viewers. Or failing that, a police mugshot with a suit painted over it....
The Real Reasons No One Wants To Serve In The Armed Forces Anymore
I had a weird pain in my side the other day, and I'm now at the age where I assume any odd pain in my body is a sure sign of aggressive and malignant cancer. What the fuck is that pain? Is there a lump? It kinda feels swollen, especially compared to my other side. And it hurts if I poke it really ha...
The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...
The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...
In Which We Search For The Ideal Masturbation Finishing Technique
No time to waste. Let's get right to your letters:...
Is The Dude Using The Printer Watching You Watch Porn?
I went into a fitting room the other day and the room had mirrors on three sides. This is fucking awesome. I'll never NOT feel like I've walked into the middle of Enter The Dragon when I encounter a room with this kind of arrangement. WHICH DREW IS THE REAL DREW?! Also, if you enjoy studying yoursel...
Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....
Shouldn’t All Priests Be Castrated?
It's Tuesday. Let's look in the funbag and see what's inside. Oooh! Big League Chew! Man, do I love Big League Chew. It's like tobacco, but for children! Do I chew the entire pack all at once? FUCK AND YES, I do. Oh, and there are some letters in here. Let's read them....