funbag Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Is The Greatest Conference-Room Food Of All Time?
This week's Funbag is just a bit shorter due to the MURDERCANE and the fact that we're working off of Tumblr today. Let's get to your letters before the power belatedly goes out and I'm forced to eat my own children: ...


The Definitive List Of The World’s Most Important Jobs
Your letters:...

The Five Most Racist Cities In America!
Last night I had an intense dream that was broken up when I had to get up and take a leak at 6 a.m. But the dream was so fascinating that when I got back into bed, I tried desperately to pick up where I left off, as if I were unpausing a movie. I was walking down the road and carrying two suitcases....

What Is The World's Greatest Pasta Shape? Or, Why Linguine Is Bullshit
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering roaches, revolutions, jizz nutritional values, and more. ...

Sippy Cups Can Go To Hell
I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I noticed that, as you grow older, you come full circle on weddings. The first time you go to a wedding in your 20s, you're like, "Oh cool, a wedding! FREE BOOZE AND SHIT!" But then everyone has that one summer where they have to go to eight weddings and by th...

Is It OK To Watch Your Friend's Sex Tape?
I was horsing around with one of my kids last night and she started doing jumping jacks, so I did a jumping jack too and HOLY SHIT NEVER DO JUMPING JACKS. I forgot that, as you grow older, your balls drop lower and lower. And so doing a jumping jack is basically akin to putting two baseballs in a pl...

The Olympic Opening Ceremonies Are Pointless And Weak
Given all the controversy Redditors generated last week by hosting a rapist confessional thread, I began to wonder: What would happen if you confessed a phony murder on Reddit? What if got you an anonymous account and then wrote a very long-winded chronicle of the time when you were 18 and stumbled ...

Why All Pro Sports Would Be Better If They Were Rigged
Your letters:...

Is The Name "Le-a" (Pronounced "Ledasha") An Urban Legend? Probably.
I wrote a Dadspin post about stupid baby names last week, and whenever I write about baby names, I inevitably get scores of emails featuring the same dubious story. Here is one such example:...

The Deadspin Guide To Mutual Oral Copulation
I took my kids to the pool when I was on vacation last week, and at the end of our day splashing around I dragged my son into the locker room to shower him and change him. So he sits down and starts taking off his bathing suit, and when he stands back up, I hear this big THUD on the bathroom floor. ...

The Time I Got Stool Softener For My Ear Because My Earwax Was Stabbing My Brain, And Other Poop Stories
Hello, little lambs. It's me, some lady! You might remember me from yelling about vagina over at Jezebel, or from that time one year ago when Drew went on vacation and I wrote a weird Funbag about banana phones and jism. Can you believe it's been an entire year? ME NEITHER. But now Drew has up and l...

How To Eat Dog Shit: A Condiments Guide
Before we get to the Funbag, two things. First of all, I'm on vacation next week. So we're gonna have another guest Funbag host to answer all your questions. To send a Funbag submission to our guest host, just email the tips line. The good thing about submitting questions to the guest host is that y...

What Women's Sport Has Inspired The Most Self-Gratification?
I was hanging with my kid the other day and she sprung this on me:...