funbag Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

“Help! I Keep Dreaming About Banging My Mom!”
Hey, before we get to the letters, BRAD CHILDRESS WAS FIRED YESTERDAY! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! SO LONG, CUNTGROPER! We're finally rid of you, YOU BALD ASSHOLE! Now my beloved Vikings can finally get around to drafting the wrong quarterback, losing key free agents, becoming as tightfisted as the Bills, and...

The Poop Mugshot Will Make You Happy
Nice to be back. Your letters:...

A Very Special Edition Of The Funbag: Your Questions, Answered By A Woman!
Good afternoon! I'm taking a brief break from lady-wrangling over at Jezebel so that I may have the pleasure of filling in for Drew today. Because while his funbags are considerable, mine are better....

Introducing Your Fill-In Funbagger
Jezebel's Jessica Coen, who is herself something of a poop authority, is handling this week's Funbag. It'll run tomorrow. Unburden yourself to her at [email protected], subject "funbag."...

My Girlfriend Became A Pro Cheerleader And Dumped Me In Wartime For The Team Mascot
I watched the The Walking Dead premiere yesterday (it was unreal) and then spent the rest of the night wondering if I had it in me to shoot friends or family members if they turned zombie on me. Like if AJ turned zombie, I could totally shoot him in the face and not hesitate. That wouldn't be a prob...

How Much Would It Take For You To Be A Cannibal?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Today, we're covering hotel dining cart theft, train tracks, squirrel fighting, and more....

Our Resident Sex Addict Settles A Bet Regarding Decuple Penetration
Before we get to the funbag, a quick announcement: From now on, every funbag will end with the Email Of The Week. The person who sends the winning email each week gets a prize. IT'S TRUE! Not only do you get to experience the glory of being immortalized forever in funbag form, but you also get a ran...

Funbag Bonus: Did The Chilean Miners Masturbate?
The Chilean miners were all rescued, free now to breathe in air and have their medical benefits cut off three weeks from now. But screw that: Wuz they jackin' it?...

Does Breast Cancer Unfairly Hog The Cancer Spotlight?
Your letters:...

I Hope You Die, Mr. Weatherman
Bit of a shorter funbag today. I had back surgery yesterday. Fuck off and leave me alone. Your letters:...

The One Where A Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Her Boobs In The Hope Of Getting A Job (NSFW)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business. (NSFW)...

Screw You And Your Iowa Shirt
It's my anniversary today, and when you've been married eight years and have small children, you are free to do away with all the bells and whistles an anniversary is supposed to entail....

How To Ruin Your Father’s Wedding To A Gold-Digging Whore
The easiest test of human intelligence is taking someone to Taco Bell and seeing if they order a drink size bigger than small, even though the refills are free. Now, your letters:...

Screw You And Your Out Of Office Autoreply
I was on a late flight home last week with my two kids. Our flight was delayed by 90 minutes for a "chemical problem," which I'm certain was airline codespeak for, "the pilot has gotten drunk and wet himself." Anyway, the plane got to the front of the runway, was prepared to take off, and then turne...

The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

How To Confront Your Old Man About His Ongoing Porn Habit
Before I get to your letters, some quick programming notes. First: I'm on vacation next week, as much as someone who does what I do can be considered "on vacation," so no funbags or hookup posts or posting at KSK or anything else like that. Drew needs time for whisky....