funbag Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great Moments In Minor League Formalwear
I was backing out of a tight parking spot today and I did that thing where you back up little by little by little until you either A) Have sufficient room to turn out of the space, or B) Tap into the other car by accident. I did the latter today, and man, that always makes me feel like a giant bag o...
Lessons In Midget Hoisting Etiquette
My power went out this morning for the 9,000th time this summer. Let me tell you something: power outages are a hundred times worse when you have small children. No power means the TV doesn't work, so I have nothing to turn on to get the kids to be quiet so that I can ignore them properly. Also, the...
Fun With Composting Old Rubbers!
All right all right, time to open up the ol' sack of goodies and see what's spurtin' out. Your letters:...
A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
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In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...
Can Black Men Be Douchebags? Oh, Yes
I ate corn on the cob the other night. I had to shuck it before I could wrap it with butter in foil and throw it in the grill. I can't for the life of me shuck an ear of corn and get ALL the corn strings off. It's fucking impossible. If anyone has tips to rid the world of corn strings, I'm all ears....
Seven Ways To Improve The Modern Automobile
There was a violent thunderstorm here on Sunday. It knocked out our power for two days. I was with my kid at some local pool when the clouds started to gather. Suddenly, the thunder rolled and the lifeguard ordered everyone out of the pool. The wind started whipping up like fucking crazy, blowing tr...
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...
How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
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Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....
The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....
And Now, An Appreciation Of The Bra
I went to the doctor the other day. I was sentenced to wait in one of the examination rooms for roughly 90 minutes while the doctor played CALL OF DUTY in the next room over under the guise of supposedly saving other people's lives, or some bullshit like that. Anyway, they had the reflex tester layi...
The Fine Art Of Addressing Your Children’s Genitals
It's a blockbuster funbag today. We go right to your letters....
What’s The Best Way To Avoid Being Raped In Prison?
I was told by friend this weekend that it's a long-held bit of conventional wisdom that Asian women have, on average, warmer genitals than other women. I did not know this was a supposedly universal stereotype for dragon ladies, nor did anyone else in my company. We all knew the usual stereotypes ab...
A Terrifying Story Of Unwanted Barber Arm Humping
No time to waste. I got a bachelor party to get to. There's gonna be a grill! And weed! And smores! I'd fist a horse for a smore. Your letters:...
USB-Charged Vibrators May Take Over The Universe
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The Fruitless Search For The Perfect Jackin’ Clip
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