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Could Santa Claus Defeat Godzilla?<em></em>
I got more Star Wars takes before we get into your letters. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna spoil anything, but I watched The Force Awakens a couple times after seeing the new movie and the difference in dialogue is night and day, man. Everyone in TFA had better lines than they do in The Last Jedi. Take ...

The College Football Playoff Is Designed To Be Loathed
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Do Animals Have Accents?<em></em>
Before we start, please note there is NO Funbag next week because the entire Deadspin staff will be in New York preparing for the Deadspin Awards. I, for one, will be VERY excited to get measured for a rental tux right after Thanksgiving has passed. Real boost to the ego there....

A Tribute To Shitty Sports Talk Radio Callers<em></em>
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There Is No Way Trump Knows The Lyrics To The National Anthem<em></em>
Today is Halloween. Is Tuesday the absolute shittiest possible day for Halloween to land on? Why yes, I believe it’s neck and neck with Monday for that particular honor. I’m starting to think that the old “the day after the Super Bowl should be a day off work” take should also apply to Halloween. By...

What Amazing Sports Plays Are No Longer Special?<em></em>
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Why Does Fantasy Have So Many British Accents?<em></em>
Your letters: ...