funny Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Year In Weird: Here Are 38 Bizarre Sports Moments, Slowed Down And Set To Music
One one of the most intriguing elements of televised sports is that the medium can be consumed in myriad and diverse ways: some viewers engage with their favorite team's local broadcasts, others watch for outstanding individual performances, and others enjoy observing tactics and strategy courtes...

Here Are A Bunch Of MLB Players Doing Funny Impressions Of <em>The Expendables</em> Cast
Allow me to self-plagiarize for a moment. A few members of the Deadspin staff, myself included, once went to the MLB Fan Cave. It was in many ways a soul-crushing place, where the Pepsi Max (but no other variety of Pepsi) was bottomless, and where Jeff Nelson was just hanging out, likely against his...

The Time Has Come For America's Flight Attendants To Shut Up
I think we can all agree that the emcee-ization of America's flight attendants has grown steadily worse over the past decade. And today, reader Kurt has sent us (and Gawker) arguably the nadir of flight attendant pep talks. I must warn you in advance that these will be among the two most painfully a...

Andy Murray Advances To Wimbledon Semifinals, Keeps His Balls In His Shorts
Earlier this afternoon, Andy Murray defeated David Ferrer in a quarterfinals match at Wimbledon. Murray won the match in four sets, and will face off against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the semifinals. Murray is looking to become the first British man to win Wimbledon since 1936....

Meet The Boxing Coach Whose Specialty Is Training "A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Wall Street Guys"
Eric Kelly gives boxing lessons at the Church Street Boxing Gym, which is located in New York's Financial District. His credentials speak for themselves: four-time national amateur champion, two-time New York City Golden Gloves champion, alternate for the 2000 U.S. Olympic team, a lazy left eye fro...

The ATP's 404 Error Page Is Brilliant, Unique, Groan-Inducing
You cannot be serious....

This Guy Died This Year: Bil Keane, Comics Paterfamilias
Bil Keane was known, among his fellow professional cartoonists, as a funny, funny man. His life's work, in The Family Circus, was to hide that fact from as many people as possible. Day after day, decade after decade, The Family Circus delivered the mildest gags imaginable—observational humor minus t...

Counterpoint: Charlie Brown Is Bigger Than Jesus
Gosh, somebody is taking a supposedly beloved holiday ritual and saying it's really awful and depressing. Who ever had that idea before? Oh, right: Charlies Schulz....

Dilbert's Necktie Is Erect Because It Wants To Rape Ladies, Naturally
Leading philosopher cartoon merchandiser Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame, has some new thoughts about masculinity, to go with his earlier, now-deleted meditation on men's rights. Why is there so much news about men "tweeting, raping, cheating, and being offensive"?...

Amazingly, Someone Else Now Claims To Have Invented The "Charge" Chant
On Monday, we brought word that Bobby Kent, a musician from South Florida, claimed to have written the 'da da da da da da... CHARGE!' song that you hear at far too many sporting events....

Lovable Old Coach Speaks Only In Yells And Similes
Montana Tech football coach Bob Green announced his retirement yesterday. After 24 years with the NAIA Diggers, he's as established a walking soundbite as he is a coach....

Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....

Quarterback Fudge Van Hooser Commits To Tulane, Becomes An Early Name Of The Year Favorite
Tulane received an oral commitment today from an Montgomery, Ala., quarterback named Fudge Van Hooser today. We can only hope that a few years down the road Fudge gets drafted by the Pa...nthers. Here's a video of him running track. [NewOrleans.com]...

Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....

If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...

Joe Morgan Clarifies One Fib, Possibly Tells Another
As you know, Joe Morgan, the human sic, told a bit of a stretcher during last Sunday's broadcast. Yesterday, he clarified the matter in a way only Joe Morgan could. By maybe lying again....

Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after voting for a Schmuck ... • MLB: Cubs at Brewers (8 p.m., ET). Fire up the 12-person beer bong. [WGN] • MLB: Diamondbacks at Padres (10:10 p.m., ET). ComicCon moves out of town, Padres move back in. [FSN] [Channel 4 Padres] • Documentary: City on Fire, The Story of the '68 Detroit...
