getty Page 118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


Your College Football Open Thread
Three weeks of regular season college football left! The process by which teams go from "disappointing start" to "wait-a-minute-are-we-even-going-to-make-a-bowl-game" was set in motion months ago, but this is when everyone notices, so there should be some excellent temper tantrums across university ...

Your Week 11 College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

The Carrier Classic Is Back, And It's Still Gorgeous
It's the second year for the Carrier Classic, the season tip-off played on the deck of an aircraft carrier. Tonight, the Notre Dame and Ohio State women play first on the USS Yorktown in Charleston Harbor, with the Marquette and OSU men to follow. One day, if they keep doing this, it's going to get ...

Last Night Reminded The World That Blaine Gabbert Is Hopeless And Chad Henne Isn't
We wondered in September why the Jaguars had refused to bench Blaine Gabbert (pictured above, on his ass)—their woeful second-year quarterback—in favor of Chad Henne, their slightly below-average (serviceable!) young veteran backup. Since then, Gabbert's play has, uh, I guess we could say picked up:...

Rob Gronkowski To Astronaut In Space: "Are You Floating Right Now?"
NASA astronaut Sunita Williams Skyped with Patriots punter Zoltan Mesko and 6-foot-6 second-grader Rob Gronkowski earlier today. Guess who asked Williams, "Are you floating right now?" and "Aren't your suits way heavier than ours?" just before he makes the same pensive face as a middle-schooler try...

Mark McGwire Has No Idea "Why Anybody Would Even Think About" Using PEDs Today
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mac says MLB's got the problem under control....

USC Fires Student Manager Who Supposedly Tampered With Game Balls
This was the entirety of the statement the school issued last night:...
![MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/184p6ngy5rminjpg.jpg)
MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]
The weather had already shafted DC United. The higher seed, they lost homefield advantage when MLS switched the legs of their home-and-home with the Red Bulls because the New York area was still cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy. It wasn't fair, and United fans were pissed, but it's hard to see that...

Why Don't The 49ers Use Their Rookies?
There's something weird going on with the San Francisco 49ers: They don't use their rookies at all....

Black Lacrosse Player Boycotts Equipment Company Over "Ninja, Please" Slogan, Threatens To Retire
Every joke ever made about lacrosse is based on the premise that the players are obnoxious, privileged white kids from elite Northeastern prep schools. Stereotypes exist for a reason, though. So it shouldn't be a surprise that Warrior Lacrosse's "Ninja" line of products (such as training shoes calle...

Mike Keenan, The NHL's Last Great Asshole Coach
Playing for coach Mike Keenan in Chicago was like camping on the side of an active volcano. You had to accept the reality that he erupted regularly and that there was always a danger of being caught in his lava flow. He was a tyrant, a schoolyard bully, an oldschool coach who tried to motivate playe...

Christian Ponder Says To Lay Off His ESPN Girlfriend, She's Not The Reason He's Struggling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leave Samantha Steele out of it....

Art Howe: I Should Manage The Blue Jays Because I Am Not As Fat As Philip Seymour Hoffman
Quick. Come up with reasons Art Howe should manage the Toronto Blue Jays. I have a few. The Blue Jays need a manager. Art Howe is a manager, maybe even a good one—he has a career 1129-1137 record, which isn't so bad given that he spent time running the Mets, A's, and Astros, three franchises with hi...

As Punishment For Yelling "Fucking Jews!" At A Guy, Delmon Young Will Have To Complete Courses At The Museum Of Tolerance
Back in April, Tigers outfielder Delmon Young was charged with third-degree assault after a minor fracas on a road trip in New York. The alleged details were ugly: a supposedly drunk Young shoved a man to the ground after losing it—"Fucking Jews! Fucking Jews!"—at the sight of a yarmulke-wearing pan...

Jason Bay And The Mets Are, Mercifully, Getting A Divorce
One never likes to cheer a breakup, even if the pair was wrong for each other from the get-go, and even if the pair deeply, habitually wounded one another. A breakup is a failure. It's pathetic. It's time wasted, and we have so little of it on this earth....

Lucas Duda Broke His Wrist While Moving Furniture
Mets outfielder Lucas Duda broke his right wrist last month while moving furniture in his apartment, becoming another bullet point in a list of dumb baseball injuries, even just in 2012....

No, Marijuana Decriminalization Will Not Affect NCAA Recruiting In Colorado Or Washington
The states of Colorado and Washington voted yesterday to legalize recreational pot use, leading to all sorts of immediate Internet speculation about how colleges in those states just found their recruiting became easier. You know, because athletes like smoking weed! Unfortunately, this isn't likely...

What To Watch Instead Of People Pretending They Know Who Won The Election
In lieu of watching various correspondents attempt to decide the election based on two states' poll results, here are some better options....

Important: Not Every Doping Cyclist Story Is About Lance Armstrong
South African cyclist David George failed a drug test for EPO this summer, and his suspension was announced today. His transgression has nothing to do with Lance Armstrong, who is a completely separate human. We feel it is important to make this distinction, because it is apparently not clear to eve...