giants Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look Who's Here, Everyone. It's Barry Bonds!
In today's episode of "Everybody Loves Barry," the semi-retired slugger pays a visit to his old home, gets a standing ovation, and explains that evil jerk side of his brain—that's just a character he plays!...

Barry Zito's Obscene Gingerbread Twitter Photos Are Somewhat Disturbing
Ladies and gentlemen, the handiwork of tonight's Giants starting pitcher against the Dodgers. PETA would like to get involved, but their jurisdiction doesn't include desserts. [Twitter]...

A Most Distressing Video: Joe Martinez Takes Line Drive Off The Head
This is not the kind of thing that people wanted to see in the wake of the tragic Nick Adenhart accident. That was one brutal line drive....

San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....

Giants Rid Themselves Of Plaxico Burress
Ralph Vacchiano of the Daily News calls this move "shocking" but that seems a little overboard. What else were the Giants supposed do with Plaxico Burress?...

Plaxico Burress Can Come Back As Long As He Stops Shooting Himself In The Leg
Giants GM, Jerry Reese: "Right now he is still a Giant and if things work out and he's on board with what we want coming back, we'd love to have him back." [SI]...

Wait, Tim Lincecum Is Making How Much?
Tim Lincecum, last season's Cy Young Award winner, just signed a contract with the Giants for one year at $650,000. Barry Zito chortles, wipes dog poop off shoe with $100 bill....

Randy Johnson Will Still Put A Ball In Your Neck If You Test Him
"In Johnson's first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, 'Swing the stinking bat!' [NY TIMES]...

I Guess Brian Bocock Calls It Schwing Training
So here's a rather amusing tale from San Francisco Giants beat writer Andrew Baggarly of the San Jose Mercury. Yes, it involves boner pills. Doesn't every Giants' story?...

Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
Attorneys for Barry Bonds on Wednesday made a defense filing that their client's gigantic skull and tiny nuts should not be entered into evidence at his perjury trial....

The SF Giants Ask That You Kindly Do Not Mock Their Concession Food
Yeah, yeah, AT&T Park features hot dogs that have Thousand Island sauce, a dill pickle spear and "Swish" Cheese. Want to make something of it?? [Home Run Derby]...

You Are Looking At One Of The Richest Men In The NFL
Eli will apparently become one of the highest paid players in the league after new deal is finalized. [National Football Post]...

Meet The Man Who Will Testify Against Barry Bonds
The Feds are filling out their roster for their big showdown against Barry Bonds, and have found a catcher. Here's Bobby Estalella, who is expected to testify to firsthand knowledge that Bonds used steroids....

Feds Say They Have The Smoking Gun, Er, Urine Sample, In Bonds Perjury Case
You thought that you were in the clear on this steroids thing, Barry, but like all criminals, you made one key mistake. You peed in a cup....

Tiki Barber's Karmic Payback Is Expensive And Sad
Standing in the middle of New York City while a little girl rolls red paint over his crotch, this "Today" show segment pretty much sums up Tiki Barber's post-NFL existence....

Blubbering Giants Fan Wants Everyone To Know He's Big Enough To Take Your Scrutiny
"I’m a fat fuck and whatever the case may be, but that doesn’t stop me from hanging out with my large group of friends, some of whom were even referred to as “banging”…" [KSK]...

Giants Receivers Shouldn't Be Allowed To Go Outside, Near Guns
Giants receiver Taye Biddle, called up from the practice squad to replace Plax last fall, is recovering nicely from gunshot wounds. No, he didn't shoot himself. [ESPN]...

Jeff Kent Will Fight No More Forever
Irascible shooter of critters Jeff Kent, the all-time leader in home runs among second basemen and super arch-enemy of Barry Bonds and Milton Bradley, is calling it quits....

Super Bowl? Eh; Anquan Boldin Has Bigger Things To Worry About. Like Anquan Boldin
Conspiculously absent from the Arizona Cardinals' wild on-field victory celebration on Sunday: A certain Mr. Anquan Boldin. There are several good TV shows on Sunday night and he forgot to set his TiVo....