giants Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...

Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...

Breaking: Pirates Bobblehead May Be Giving Us The Finger
The Pirates and Mets were rained out on Monday, giving Pittsburgh fans a little extra time to pull their Tom Gorzelanny bobblehead dolls out of their boxes and examine them closely for the first time. Fans received the bobble on Saturday as the Pirates took on the Phillies at PNC Park. Examining the...

Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...

Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....

Giants Win Three Straight? That's Unpossible!
What the fungus is going on here? About a month ago during spring training, The Dugout over at AOL asked Giants fans if they would rather have Rich Aurilia beat them senseless with construction site debris, or have Barry Bonds back for another season. I of course chose the former, and braced myself ...

Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...

Baseball Season Preview: San Francisco Giants
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; heck, they've even played real games in Japan....

Your NL West "Preview"
Question: Anybody else buy the MLB Extra Innings package? They're eventually gonna update that schedule with games, right? Our cable system is still showing nothing ... and the season starts Monday, doggone it!...

Manning Vs. Brady, Round II
OK, I might see Tom Brady wearing Ermenegildo Zegna clothing, but Eli Manning, I don't think so. Isn't he more of a Miller's Outpost kind of guy? Anyway, they were both on hand for the big Zegna store opening in Manhattan on Thursday, or so we are led to believe. Mr. Manning here actually looks very...

I, Like, Totally Had That Ball, Man (Cough!)
When Barry Bonds hit home run No. 762 at Coors Field on Sept. 5, 2007, notorious ballhawk Jake Frazier was in perfect position to grab it. As it's looking more and more like that will be Bonds' last homer ever, the ball is quite a prize; it's estimated that it could go for $1 million when it's put u...


Justice Is Blind, Which Accounts For All The Typos
Finally, Barry Bonds has discovered an airtight defense for his upcoming trial on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Typos! Yep, Bonds' lawyers on Thursday contended that, because the government filed court papers on their client that had at least two typos, that Barry should walk free. Hey...

There's No 'I' In 'Douchebag'
Drew over at KSK asked Johnny at Metroville to write a piece about what it means to be a Patriots fan, one week later. We decided it would be a better fit here. You decide....

The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...

How To Sneak Into The Giants Victory Parade Without Really Trying
It's amazing what a fan with a little bit of gumption and a lot of spirit can get away with. Meet the world's biggest, and luckiest, Giants fan....

In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...

Giants Fans Celebrate Tiki As Well
Reader Matthew Ott headed down to the Giants' Super Bowl ticker-tape parade in Lower Manhattan yesterday and found a guy after our own heart. The "uncensored" photo after the jump. Lots of work went into that sign, clearly....

The Giants Celebrate Their Title An Hour Away (In Traffic) From Their Home Field
Tons of people headed to lower Manhattan today to cheer on a team from New Jersey. It's nice to see Eli so nattily dressed. That guy's gonna get cool yet!...

Patriots Fans Cry The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
As you may have imagined, folks are having a bit of fun with the Super Bowl result, Photoshop-wise. Following are some of this morning's more interesting efforts. I have to admit, I chuckled at most of them. And by the way ... if you happen to come across this, it isn't a Photoshop. These books are ...