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Just Try To Stop Markus Howard
The most remarkable aspect of 2019’s most remarkable college basketball player is his age: Markus Howard just turned 20 years old. The Marquette junior guard is one of the youngest players in his class, yet the 5-foot-11 Howard has spent this revelatory season torching all comers....

Get To Know The Rich Assholes Charged With Paying Millions In Bribes To Get Their Kids Into College
Parents obsessing over their kids getting into good colleges is nothing new, but committing actual crimes to make it happen would seemingly require a particular mindset and financial position. When the Justice Department announced yesterday charges and indictments in an absolutely batshit college ad...

Atlético Madrid Stuck To The Atlético Way, And Failed
Heading into yesterday’s second leg of their round of 16 matchup against Juventus, Atlético Madrid looked like solid favorites to progress to the quarterfinals, or at least as solid as any team could be going up against the Europe’s most complete team, featuring the best Champions League player ever...

Report: Conor McGregor Charged With Felony After Stomping A Fan's Phone Into Oblivion
Full-time MMA fighter and part-time racist Conor McGregor was arrested on Monday night for breaking a fan’s phone into a bunch of tiny pieces with what we can probably assume was an expensive pair of shoes....

Zinedine Zidane's Return To Real Madrid Will Be Much Harder This Time
Just days after Real Madrid won their third straight Champions League title last May, Zinedine Zidane, the architect of each of those triumphs, shocked the world by resigning from the manager position. The former Juventus and Real Madrid legend had been installed as the head coach in 2016, after inf...

The Warriors Had Another Weird One, And Now It's Time To Read Steve Kerr's Lips
The Warriors added to a very odd and possibly concerning stretch of games last night with a 115-111 loss to the Phoenix Suns, who really stink. This loss followed a 122-105 demolition of the Nuggets on Friday night that was supposed to signal a return to form, as it was preceded by an embarrassing 3...

Postgame Dispute Results In One Golfer Headbutting Another Golfer Into A Window
Anyone who plays a sport at any level usually has the fire of a competitive spirit constantly burning inside of them. Sometimes it can be used as motivation to propel you to victory, other times it can manifest itself into a type of anger that causes you to headbutt another person through a window. ...

Robin Lopez Temporarily Broke Andre Drummond's Brain With Some Slippery Work In The Post
The Detroit Pistons beat the Chicago Bulls 112-104 on Friday but required a 21-point second-half comeback—their largest of the season so far—in order to get things done on the road. The win seemed far from certain earlier in the game when the Bulls caught their opponents napping in the first half an...

Gordon Hayward Almost Gave The Game Away, Then Hit The Game-Winner
With 7.6 seconds left and a 109-106 lead against the Kings Wednesday night, Gordon Hayward committed a cardinal sin of NBA defense: he fouled a three-point shooter. The contact was soft, but Buddy Hield got himself to the line for three shots and tied the game up, leaving the Celtics without any tim...

Matthew Tkachuk Sparked A Big Ol' Scrum By Being Matthew Tkachuk<em></em><em></em>
Calgary Flames forward Matthew Tkachuk, one of the most annoying dudes to play against in the NHL, picked up a ticky-tack goalie interference call that disallowed a goal in the first period of the Flames’ eventual 2-1 loss to the Golden Knights on Wednesday. So naturally, Tkachuk decided to go back ...


Everyone Has Issues, But, Finally, So Do The Warriors
For those of us who revel in kneejerk stupid on a daily basis, so, for everyone, the NBA is the perfect training ground for any anti-PhD candidates. Every game is a daily rectal thermometer to be wielded as a way to measure teams’ futures, with the benefit of that being that each subject is an endle...

Hmm, Maybe The Warriors With DeMarcus Cousins Aren't Invincible After All
There’s still time for Golden State’s all-All-NBA five-man lineup to coalesce into the world-vaporizing unit it appears to be on paper, but a few terrifying stretches aside that hasn’t happened yet. Inserting DeMarcus Cousins into their rotation has so far been a bit of a negative for the Warriors, ...

Chicago NBC Station Inadvertently Turns Kirk Cousins Into Khalil Mack's Mom
Okay, this is a pedantic grievance, but if you’re on Deadspin you come here for or at least tolerate the pedantry. This tweet from NBC Sports’ Chicago Bears site is wrong as hell:...

Chicago NBC Station Inadvertently Turns Kirk Cousins Into Khalil Mack's Mom
Okay, this is a pedantic grievance, but if you’re on Deadspin you come here for or at least tolerate the pedantry. This tweet from NBC Sports’ Chicago Bears site is wrong as hell:...

It Is The Warriors' Sacred Duty To Orbital Strike The Celtics Into Hell Tonight
It’s been rough going for the poor Boston Celtics lately. They’ve lost five of six since the break, they’ve made no headway in their pursuit of a top-four seed in the playoffs, and they got absolutely walloped at home by James Harden and the Houston Rockets two nights ago. Perhaps even more ominousl...

It Is The Warriors' Sacred Duty To Orbital Strike The Celtics Into Hell Tonight
It’s been rough going for the poor Boston Celtics lately. They’ve lost five of six since the break, they’ve made no headway in their pursuit of a top-four seed in the playoffs, and they got absolutely walloped at home by James Harden and the Houston Rockets two nights ago. Perhaps even more ominousl...


Report: Warriors Plan To Add Ancient Pizzagater Andrew Bogut
The Golden State Warriors are planning to sign 34-year-old center Andrew Bogut for the remainder of the season, according to a Yahoo Sports report citing anonymous league sources. Bogut, who left the NBA when the Lakers waived him last February, has been playing professionally in Australia since Apr...

Report: Warriors Plan To Add Ancient Pizzagater Andrew Bogut
The Golden State Warriors are planning to sign 34-year-old center Andrew Bogut for the remainder of the season, according to a Yahoo Sports report citing anonymous league sources. Bogut, who left the NBA when the Lakers waived him last February, has been playing professionally in Australia since Apr...