go Page 309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Everything Went Right For The Golden Knights
After dispatching the Golden Knights with a three-goal barrage in the first-period of Game 1, the Winnipeg Jets found Vegas to be a much tougher opponent in their second series meeting, and couldn’t get anywhere near a repeat performance. The Knights rode a pair of first period goals and a brillian...
LIVE: We're Simulating Tonight's Warriors-Rockets Game In <i>NBA Live 96</i>
Haha! Yes! We are back at it, tirelessly updating rosters from 22-year-old video games in order to bring you these highly accurate simulations of upcoming basketball games. WE ARE LIVE:...
Let The Cool Players Try To Trash Each Other
Here is a thing that happens way too often in the NBA: Two teams with stars at the same position face each other and, instead of the cool stars checking each other, so that they are competing directly at both ends of the floor, the coaches assign various other designated defenders to do the job of g...
Brooks Koepka Drops In A Ridiculous 208-Yard Albatross
Brooks Koepka shot a course-record-tying 63 today in the final round of The Players, which was good enough to bring him into the top five of the leaderboard. Lots of good stuff in a 63, but the true highlight of his day was an amazing 208-yard approach shot on the par-5 16th hole. Check this shit ou...
Willson Contreras Is On An Unholy Tear
Cubs catcher Willson Contreras came into Wednesday’s game against the Marlins stuck in a bit of a slump, having gone 4-for-35 over his previous nine appearances. Contreras, who smacked 21 dingers in 2017, tallied just one in April, and hadn’t had a multi-hit game since April 10. The nine-game slump ...
Ben Zobrist Calls Out MLB For Threatening Punishment Over Black Cleats
Cubs second-baseman Ben Zobrist likes to wear all-black cleats to home games. To hear him tell it, that’s no random fashion statement—it’s done to commemorate a time in baseball’s past when all-black cleats were the norm. But baseball has collectively-bargained uniform standards, just like every oth...
Innocent Beer Rudely Displaced By Baseball
As baseball catching implements go, the beer cup is less than ideal—it’s minimally flexible, the opening is only slightly larger than the diameter of a baseball, and there’s dang beer in there! But a man will do desperate things to bring home a foul ball from a May Giants-Pirates game:...
<i>God Of War</i> Makes Its Violence Matter
Video games are serious now. It’s no longer enough for AAA video games to have sleek graphics, hours upon hours of playable content, and innovative game mechanics. They also need top-notch voice acting, cinematic cutscenes featuring real actors performing in motion-capture suits, and a compelling st...
Dinosaur-Sized Gator Enjoys Casual Stroll On The Golf Course With His Friends The Deer
It’s big boy season on Fripp Island, South Carolina. Even the local deer populace respects it....
How The Golden Knights Got So Good
You could see it from the 300 level. Watching the Vegas Golden Knights beat the Blackhawks 5-4 in Chicago on Jan. 5 cemented two things in my mind about this NHL season. First, the Blackhawks were done, having been made to look exceedingly old and slow again. Second, the Golden Knights were very muc...
Rafael Nadal Eats Clay Three Square Meals A Day And Also Has It For Dessert
Does Rafael Nadal live in clay? He may. Is it where he likes to play? Yea—he has owned it for his entire career, and that dominance was made even clearer two weeks ago when he finally took the record for most consecutive sets won on clay. Today he claimed his 21st straight victim on the red stuff, a...
Dopey Chicago Sports Columnist Apologizes For Nonsensical Roquan Smith Take
Roquan Smith, whose playbook was among the items stolen from his car last weekend, was the subject of Chicago Tribune grouch Steve Rosenbloom’s column this week, and boy did Rosenbloom produce a doozy....
Potential 2018 NBA Finals Outcomes, Ranked
1. Cavaliers def. Warriors...
The Warriors Are Infuriatingly Too Pretty To Hate
The Pelicans had earned a fleeting lead towards the end of Game 5's second quarter last night. They’d sunk five straight shots from four different guys, with the one-browed god Anthony Davis doubling up on feral dunks. Both these teams are lean and love to run, and at this point the tempo was furiou...
The Rockets Better Not Fuck This Up
The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors wrapped up their five-game eliminations of, respectively, the Utah Jazz and New Orleans Pelicans last night. Like the series they ended, neither game was particularly closely contested; both losing teams did just enough to preserve their dignity and no m...
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Khaki Shorts Enthusiasts Brawl At Charity Cornhole Tournament
The chamber of commerce in Georgia’s Douglas County holds an annual charity cornhole tournament, the point of which is to raise money for a local scholarship fund. This year, that tournament also served as a place for some husky men in shorts to throw haymakers at each other....
NFL Rookie Roquan Smith's Car Robbed Of Valuable Items, Also Bears Playbook
Chicago Bears rookie linebacker Roquan Smith had his car broken into over the weekend, and in addition to a Georgia jersey from the national championship game and other valuable memorabilia, the thief or thieves made off with his Bears-issued tablet....
Gorkys Hernandez Covers Himself In Shame While Trying To Rob A Homer<em></em>
The Phillies are wrecking the Giants tonight, but not even a double-digit run differential can inflict as much embarrassment on one player as Carlos Santana’s three-run dong did to San Francisco center fielder Gorkys Hernandez. When Santana blasted one to the deepest part of the ballpark, Hernandez ...
Mario Balotelli Scores Wonderful Goal, Talks Shit About Referees
When last we heard from our favorite mohawked madman, Mario Balotelli, it right about this time last year as he came to the close of what turned out to be an unexpectedly impressive but still quintessentially Balotellian inaugural season with Nice in France. We are delighted to inform you that since...