go Page 519 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gareth Bale And Cristiano Ronaldo Swiss-Cheesed Schalke's Defense
Hey, stupid Real Madrid fans: can we stop pretending like Gareth Bale isn't still the great player Madrid thought they were buying? Today's complete demolishment of Schalke in the Champions League has to finally shut you guys up, right?...
Hank The Dog Runs In A Milwaukee Brewers Sausage Race
Hank the dog continues to solidify his status as the world's best baseball doggie. Today, Hank the dog got to face off against the Brewers' famous sausage racers, an honor that has surely never previously been bestowed upon a stray dog who survived being hit by a car. ...
Sad Manchester United Lose Following Wonder Goal From Joel Campbell
Manchester United traveled to Greece to play Olympiakos FC in the Champions League, and they caught an ass-whooping. Olympiakos opened scoring in the 38th minute, when an Alejandro Dominguez shot from the top of the box was deflected before tragically trickling past United keeper David de Gea into t...
Marc-Andre Fleury's Stadium Series Mask Looks Like A Steelers Helmet
Honest-to-goodness NHL hockey is back tonight! (Sort of.) But if you need some novelty to ease the transition from the Olympics to the stretch run, Saturday marks the fourth and final Stadium Series game. The Penguins will take on the Blackhawks at Soldier Field, and as is tradition, both goalies wi...
Steve Elkington Is Your Dumb Uncle On Twitter
Steve Elkington hasn't been a great golfer in 15 years, but he's moved on to his second career as a guy who says dumb shit on Twitter. And he is elite. ...
Old Asshole Golfer Has Thought About Michael Sam
Good one, Steve. You're really good at being an old asshole on Twitter....
Klay Thompson Dunk Sends Kyle Singler Stumbling Into Crowd
There are better dunks and worse posterizations than this Thompson-Singler affair, but Singler's exit makes this fantastic. Despite his efforts to remain upright, he stumbles back for what feels like forever, until he runs into the cameraman. It's at this point that he gives in to momentum and just ...
Carlos Martinez's Twitter Favorites: A Big Ol' Wall Of Porn
Hey, have you ever wanted to know what Cardinals pitcher Carlos Martinez masturbates to? Well, here ya go! (NSFW, obviously)....
Second-Straight Ridiculous Save Sends Accenture Match Play To Hole 21
Victor Dubuisson hit two straight balls into near-impossible spots in the bunkers of holes 19 and 20 of the WGC-Accenture Match Play and hit two nearer-impossible shots to get out. He and Jason Day moved on to hole 21 after this ridiculous shot put him in position to knock down the putt. Jason Day'...
NFL Prospect Leaves Combine Because He Says God Told Him To
Some draft prospects don't take part in drills at the NFL Combine due to injuries, but Adam Muema was healthy. His reason for departing from Indianapolis early was unique....
Greg Oden Will Start An NBA Game For The First Time Since 2009
LeBron James is sitting out today's game against the Bulls with a broken nose, and Greg Oden, in a surprising decision, will take his place in Miami's starting five. The last time Oden started was Dec. 5, 2009; he fractured his left patella in the first quarter of that game. But in Oden's case, what...
Windowlicker And Nosepicker Are The Best North Dakota Hockey Fans
These two kids popped up behind a shot of North Dakota men's hockey coach Dave Hakstol Friday during a game against Minnesota Duluth, and they are outstanding college hockey fans. One's doing his best sucker fish impression while the other digs for gold....
Here's Gareth Bale's Laser Golazo
If the staccato finesse of Arsenal is not your cup of tea, wet your whistle on the brutality of Gareth Bale. ...
Down With The NCAA's No-Agent Rule
Originally published on Bloomberg View....
Jermaine O'Neal Makes Game-Saving Block, Is Very Pleased With Himself
You can give Steph Curry the credit for last night's Warriors' victory if you want to—he did tie the game with a preposterous layup at the end of regulation before scoring seven points in OT, after all—but I prefer to think that this game belonged to old-ass Jermaine O'Neal....
The New Tampa Bay Buccaneers Logo Is Basically An Angrier Skull
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have tweaked their logo, and by "tweaked," they made the skull look more pissed off. That's about it....
Jonathan Soriano's Crushing Shot Scores From Halfway Line
Listening to the bass-heavy "thoom" of this blast from today's Red Bull Salzburg-Ajax match is just as satisfying as watching the ball fly over half the field, hang just over the Ajax keeper's fingers, and nestle softly into the back of the net....
Holy Shit, Everyone Look At This Golazo From Ricardo Quaresma
Portuguese side FC Porto are playing German club Eintracht Frankfurt today in the Europa League. And that doesn't matter at all. They're playing on Thursday night in soccer's NIT, and every single player, coach, ref, and fan would rather be somewhere else, and what the fuck! ...
Russian Figure Skating Fans Applaud Gracie Gold's Fall
Jerks! You guys are jerks....