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AHL Changes Rules To Stop Goalies From Flipping Their Own Nets
On Sunday, Bridgeport Sound Tigers goalie David Leggio escaped a 2-on-0 breakaway by toppling his own net, happily opting to face (and stopping) a penalty shot. Terrified that the move would inspire other netminders, the AHL has enacted a rule change....
"He Reeked Of Jim Beam And Slim Jims": Your Best Mike Ditka Stories
Yesterday we posted Andy Richter's telling of Mike Ditka doing "one of the most senselessly arrogant & aggressive things" he'd ever witnessed. It seems that nearly everybody that has ever stepped foot in Chicago has a Mike Ditka story, usually involving cigars, booze, or both. Below are some of ...
How Man-Child Tight End Rob Gronkowski Revived The Patriots' Offense
Rob Gronkowski—whose skull houses one 14-oz. official NFL "The Duke" football, and whose circulatory system is chiefly responsible for the delivery of Natural Light—has been incredible for the last few weeks. Tom Brady's missed his best receiver at full speed, and they're making up for lost time. ...
Adrian Peterson And Ray Rice Should Be Reinstated Now
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Derrick Rose Hurt Both Of His Ankles Again
Derrick Rose returned to the Bulls' starting lineup last night after missing the two previous games. He missed those games because he managed to sprain both of his ankles during a game last Friday. Rose played 31 minutes against the Bucks, which is great, but he also managed to re-aggravate both of ...
Mike Ditka Apparently Doesn't Give A Fuck Where He Leaves His Cigars
Conan O'Brien sidekick Andy Richter took to Twitter late Wednesday night to tell a pretty funny story about Mike Ditka. ...
Gordon Hayward Locks Up LeBron, Nails Game Winner
Things aren't getting any better for LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. A night after James failed to score in the second half of a blowout loss against the Trail Blazers, they were undone in Utah by this Gordon Hayward game winner. James was guarding Hayward initially, but was felled by a De...
Patrick Reed, On His Own Putting: "You Fuckin' Faggot"
The WGC-HSBC Champions is underway in Shanghai, and things aren't going so well for golfer Patrick Reed. His reaction after three-putting the course's opening hole: "Nice fuckin' three-putt you fuckin' faggot."...
Penguins Re-Sign Marc-Andre Fleury. No, Really.
In a move sure to be universally lauded by fans of the other 29 teams, the Pittsburgh Penguins have extended goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury on a four-year deal with an average annual value of $5.75 million....
The Chiefs' Travis Kelce Might Be The Next Revolutionary Tight End
The best NFL offenses are lousy with new-breed tight ends—guys like Rob Gronkowski, Julius Thomas, and Jimmy Graham, the dudes who bust up defenses with an unfair blend of size, speed, and pass-catching ability. And while you can't really tell from the raw numbers, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is...
How A Secret Brotherhood's Revolt Nearly Destroyed The National League
Today marks the 125th anniversary of the formation of the Players' League, the most radical experiment ever attempted by baseball's major leagues. It was a rebellion led by a slender, brilliant shortstop, who had begun pondering revolt nine months before, in the shadow of the pyramids....
Watch Action Bronson Have An Extremely Awkward Meal With Mike Ditka
Queens rapper Action Bronson is pretty great, in part because he once called himself "The Young Randy Velarde" on a track, and in part because he hosts a food show on the internet that is called Fuck, That's Delicious. The most recent episode of the show brought Bronson into contact with shitty old ...
Joe Maddon Ordered A Round Of Drinks At His Cubs Press Conference
In a press conference held at a bar across the street from Wrigley Field, the Cubs introduced their new manager, Will Ferrell as Harry Caray Joe Maddon. It ended with Maddon ordering a round of boilermakers for everyone....
Brilliant Goalie Knocks Over Own Net Rather Than Face A 2-On-0
Thirty-year-old David Leggio has never made the big show—but you don't spend that long in the minor leagues without learning a few tricks. In a game yesterday, the netminder for the AHL's Bridgeport Sound Tigers saw his team turn the puck over at center ice, so he immediately toppled his own net t...
NASCAR Teams Beat Shit Out Of Each Other In Choreographed Mayhem
Brad Keselowski is once again at the center of a NASCAR brawl as his squad traded punches with Jeff Gordon's in another display of stock car racing hilarity at Texas Motor Speedway....
Florida Ties Up Georgia With Bold Fake Field Goal
When you're on the gallows like Will Muschamp, you've got to try anything to stay alive—and maybe that explains how Florida pulled off this perfectly-executed fake field goal to tie up Georgia at the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party....