go Page 677 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Oregon Ducks Image Rehab Tour Commences
DE Terrell Turner carried his infirm neighbor up the stairs. It's nothing worth canonizing, but after the example set by his Duck teammates, he may as well be Oskar Schindler....

The Mennonites No Longer Hate America
Just hours ago, Goshen College, a private Mennonite-affiliated school in Indiana, played the National Anthem before a sporting event for the first time in their history. It wasn't without controversy. Of course....

Is The NBA Ready For Another Insane Billionaire Owner?
Mark Cuban has cornered the market on "playfully eccentric tech nerd sports owner," but he is in serious trouble if the Golden State Warriors fall into the hands of Larry Ellison. This guy practically invented the arrogant, kooky billionaire....

Chicago Cubs: This Is The Golden Age
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago Cubs....

Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Oregon's Stolen Projector: The Real Victim
Jeremiah Masoli admitted to stealing a projector, among other things, from an Oregon frat house. But the media has criminally under-reported that aspect of the theft. We have learned exclusively that the frat was really enjoying that projector....

Canine Vs. Citrus: Your Gonzaga-Syracuse Open Thread
A sole early game again, as 'Cuse tries to avoid getting Jayhawked, and Gonzaga tests our patience with its "Cinderella" label for the 20th consecutive year. Follow along in the comments, won't you?...

Ozzie Guillen's Apple Did Not Fall Far From The Tree
The manager's 24-year-old son, Oney, "resigned" from the White Sox video department because of his rogue Twitter account, but his mom cleared it all up with the GM. It's gonna be a good year on the South Side. [FoxSports/Sun-Times/Yahoo; Pic]...

Mike Bellotti Suddenly Needs To Not Work For Oregon Anymore
Mike Bellotti worked at Oregon for over 20 years, both as a football coach and athletic director, but just remembered that he left his keys in an ESPN studio and won't be coming back. Gee, I wonder why that is?...

Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread
You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results....

Shining Kings Of The Serengeti Beset By Cerulean Satans: Arkansas Pine Bluff-Duke Open Thread
Duke's better this year than it's been in a while; expect the Blue Devils to crack 120 in this game. Look for floor-slaps galore by the scrubs who get into the game with about seven minutes to play....

Andrew Jackson's Least Favorite Team Vs. Everyone Else's: Florida State-Gonzaga
The days of Casey Calvary and Matt Santangelo are gone; Gonzaga has become a West Coast Duke. Solomon Alabi has the name of an extra from Angel Heart but is also a defensive force. Will we see Matt Bouldin cry?...

Geographically Confused Bears Vs. The Jungle Cats Of The Monongahela: Oakland-Pittsburgh Open Thread
Oakland got beaten by a lot of highly regarded teams this year; did that make them stronger? Is Pitt legit or playing above their heads? Why is a Michigan school so California-centric?...

Resplendent Caddyshack Mascots To Pester Dumas-esque Heros: Minnesota-Xavier Open Thread
The Golden Gophers have a championship-winning coach and solid team play. Xavier's Jordan Crawford dunked on LeBron. This one should get the Bradley Center rocking. Order a thematically appropriate sandwich and comment — pretty sure that's what Sean Miller's doing....

Indigenous Warriors Take On Mountain Folk: San Diego State-Tennessee Open Thread (CINDERELLA WATCH)
Bruce Pearl's team got stomped last weekend against Kentucky. Are they in for a repeat performance? Is Marshall Faulk going to get interviewed by Armen Keteyian courtside? Join in on the fun....

Jesuits Attacked By Ferocious Dogs: Washington-Marquette Open Thread (UPDATE)
Quincy Pondexter and the You-Dub Huskies go up against Lazar Haywood and Marquette. Will Buzz Williams walk it out to Round 2? Can Isiah Thomas II: Electric Boogaloo break some ankles and some hearts?...

Seton Hall Fires Bobby Gonzalez, Leader Of Cock-Punchers And Alleged Burglars
Bobby Gonzalez was doomed the moment reporters got his former secretary to bag on him, but if there's a proper day to get canned, it's probably the day after your erstwhile charges engage in some nutpunching and (alleged) burgling....

Chicago White Sox: Non-Performance Is No Indicator Of Future Results
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago White Sox....