go Page 727 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Of Empty Seats And Merciless Scalpers
The Olympics have begun and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, Olymp...

She Bangs: South Korea Beats Us In Baseball
I was unaware that the Mets' bullpen had even made the trip to China, but every day you learn something new. In an upset of William Hung winning American Idol proportions, South Korea made Kim Chee out of the U.S. relievers to take an 8-7 win in an Olympic opener. Lee Jong-wook hit a sacrifice fly w...

We Welcome Our New Michael Phelps Overlord
The goggles, they do nothing! Despite leaky specs in the first race of the morning — the 200 meter butterfly — Michael Phelps claimed his fourth gold medal of the Beijing Games. He then went on to capture No. 5 as the U.S. became the first team to crack the 7-minute barrier in the 800 freestyle rela...

Rave Reviews For Michael Phelps And His Amazing Technicolor Swim Cap
• Stunning!: “It may be once in a century we see something like this. The rest of the world is catching up to the U.S., the way I look at it – quite a bit. For him to be doing what he’s doing at this moment in time, with the rest of the world coming up the way it is, I think that speaks volumes. And...

Tonight: Watch Young Girls Sacrifice Their Womanhood For A Shot At Something Shiny And Gold
Tonight is the showdown between the U.S. Women's Olympic Gymnastics team and China, which according to SI's E.M. Swift is the "marquee event" of the Summer Olympic games. I thought that was team handball? What's most interesting about tonight's contest is the underlying controversy, triggered the al...

Sub-Continent Rejoices: India Has Their First Gold Medalist After 80 Years of Competing
It's kind of difficult to put into words how unbelievable it is that a country of 1.1 billion people had never won an individual gold medal before. Especially since India has been participating in the Olympics since 1928. In the ensuing 80 years they'd won only four individual medals. None of them ...

Even The Little Girls In China Are CGI-Enhanced
Many flabbergasted-sounding news stories were released about China's fakery during the peyote-inspired opening ceremonies from Friday in which it appeared for a short period of time that the whole city of Beijing had been outlined with enough pretty explosives to knock down wandering defense satelli...

No, Mark Spitz Will Not Go Quietly. And Why Should He?
Good line by a commenter on last night's DUAN, "Mark Spitz is printing 6-1 t-shirts as we speak." And it wouldn't surprise me to peak into Spitz's basement and see said shirts actually in production. If he wasn't rooting against Michael Phelps before, he most likely is now that he's been snubbed by ...

Let Leo Pitch! Cubs Tempt Fate By Dissing Their Oldest Fan
Leo Hildebrand wants to throw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs game. And since the 104-year-old is one of the few living things old enough to have actually seen the Cubs win a World Series (the bristlecone pine and certain species of desert tortoise are the others), one would think that the tea...

This Is The Problem With Live-Streaming Female Water Polo Photos
Whoops! Does this mean Yahoo! has to start using the NSFW tag throughout the Olympics? Well, congratulations to photographer William West of Getty Images for snapping this action shot during the titillating Australia/Greece women's water polo match-up. NBC should thank him too, as the ratings for t...

Did The White Sox Just Win The Central?
So the White Sox lost Jose Contreras for the season on Saturday in a loss to Boston, falling out of first in the Central. That made Sunday's contest somewhat more than your run-of-the-mill game. And Chicago's 6-5, come-from-behind win over the Red Sox just may have put them back into first place for...

Spanish Basketball Team Celebrates Trip to China With Slant-Eye Team Photo
Spain, patron saint of the New World, land of low-priced cerveza, Sergio Garcia's homeland, and where slant-eyed jokes by the Spanish national basketball team leave the entire country rolling on the floor with laughter. Those were the fourth grade days. Just imagine what would have happened if they...

You Taste Of America, Jason Lezak
There's no better motivation for an American in the Olympics than Frenchy getting in your face and predicting victory. "I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say ... 'I love crepes.' " Jason Lezak outsprinted Alain Bernard of France in the anchor leg as the U.S. men — Michael Phelps, Ga...

Rooting For The Ol' Stripes and Stars
As we head into the second full night of coverage, the medal drama is building and one more tennis star drops as Ana Ivanovic withdraws due to a thumb injury. Chicken pox felled a Canadian swimmer and Team USA won an explosive basketball game against China. Tonight, we have swimming finals and gymn...

Diseased Poon Not Good For Fellow Olympians
Mama always said bad poon could spread diseases. According to sources, Canadian swimmer Victoria Poon has come down with chicken pox and is now being quarantined at a hospital in Beijing. Commence poon jokes....now....

Boo Boo Is On His Way
Olympic boxing is by no means an indicator of future success at the sport's professional level, although often times it does serves as a showcase for an elite athlete's rise to prominence. The biggest name to arise from the '04 Olympics was England's young lightweight sliver medalist Amir Khan, who...

Bela Karolyi Wants to Train Your Babies
Famed U.S. Olympic gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi is not a fan of little girls. At least not ones who can beat his team in the Olymics. Karolyi is raising a fuss about the ages of the Chinese gymnast, claiming that they do not appear to be the competition legal age of 16. Clearly the world's most fam...

US Dominates China, Yao Is Hobbled
The US Men's basketball team is off to an excellent start on their bid for international redemption following a breezy 101-70 win over Yao Ming and the host nation. Dwyane Wade, looking every bit as unstoppable as he did before being beset by injuries, set the tone with 19 points on a perfect 7-7 f...

USA/China Olympic Basketball Update
Over 1 billion people are expected to be tuning in to the USA/China matchup in progress in Beijing. In attendance are both Bush generations, the Chinese Prime Minister, and Henry Kissinger who appears to be sleeping in the stands. China has a big three that towers over the US team (Yao Ming stands a...

Contreras Injury a Blow To Chicago
It was the Sox Bowl Part II as the Red ones took on the White ones. And you know what happens when you put Red Sox in the mix with White Sox (besides all your shit turning pink). You get some pretty good baseball. Big Papi busted his slump with a three-rub double off the wall in Boston's 6-2 win ove...