go Page 727 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
This is Balls Deep with Drew Magary. Read him at KSK. Buy his book. Follow him at Twitter. NSFW Inga after the jump....

Orange Enthusiasts, Meet Your New Quarterback: Greg Paulus
Greg Paulus announced his destination for next year and has chosen...Syracuse. He will compete for the starting quarterback spot. One Duke sports editor took the time to say farewell....

Bobby Jenks: "Yeah, I Was Throwing At That Guy"
Say what you want about Bobby Jenks—and I've muttered some pretty nasty things about him under my breath—at least he's refreshingly honest about his decision to throw a pitch behind Ian Kinsler's back....

Introducing Your New Deadspinner
Hi. I’m the new guy. Nice to make your acquaintance....

Top Draft Prospect About To Get Paid
Top draft prospect Stephen Strasburg pitched a 17 K, no hitter in his last home game at San Diego State. Expect the Nationals to draft him before getting anally raped by his agent, Scott Boras....

CBS Golf Analyst David Feherty Has Predictably Enraged People With His Fantastical Column About Shooting Nancy Pelosi
Feherty's column appeared in "D Magazine" and has already been eviscerated by the media mob. Is he a loser?[HuffPo]...

A Very Special Guest Editor Goodbye
Alright, time to shut this thing down....

Now, Is This Better Or Worse Than "Horry Kow?"
This shirt, worn at Busch Stadium by one cuddly Cardinal fan, was shown off proudly without security hassles. At least the fan with the "Cubs Suck" shirt was forced to turn his inside out. [JSF]...

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...

T Is For Timeout...Or Maybe Tacos.
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

Boston And Chicago Must Really Love Each Other
How else do you explain why the Bulls and Celtics have played seven overtime periods in just six games? These guys really just enjoy playing basketball together—and making each other bleed....

This Is Why You Don't Let Coaches On The Field
Did you know that because Arena Football games don't really have sidelines coaches are allowed to stand on the field of play? So everyone knew that one would eventually end up in a wheelchair, right?...

What Ever Happened To "The Jewish Jordan"?
Do you remember Tamir Goodman, the greatest Orthodox Jewish basketball player ever to come out of the greater Baltimore area? Do you ever wonder what happened to him? Spoiler Alert!: Still Jewish. [NBC Washington]...

The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....

Olympians Still Failing Drug Tests A Year Later
Remember the Beijing Olympics all the way back in the simpler time of late-summer 2008? Well, I don't mean to shock you, but everyone there was on drugs. [Steroid Nation]...

When All Else Fails, Just Punch Brad Miller In The Face
The Boston-Chicago series had its third overtime game last night and they might still be playing now if Rajon Rando hadn't decided to just end the charade and slug Brad Miller in the mouth....

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...

Ten Humans, Or Parts Thereof
Programming note: Our beloved Emeritus is traveling this week. Whether it's by air or through space and time, he refused to confirm. In his place, I will be presenting this week's Ten Humans. Sort of....
