go Page 728 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So Long, And Thanks For All The Leather
It was in Woody Allen's Love and Death where the drill sergeant scolds Boris and asks if he wants a dishonorable discharge, to which Boris replies: "Yes sir, either that or a furlough."...

Post-Marathon Interview Is The Biggest Endurance Test Of All
Kara Goucher, you just finished third in the Boston Marathon. Would you mind standing still for five minutes while my incompetent news crew gets their act together? And may I call you Sara?...

A Ball-Grabbing Good Time At The United Center
Ben Gordon scored 22 points against Boston today, but none bigger than this DAGGER! three to tie the game at the end of the first overtime. He also has something in his shorts for you....

Isiah Thomas Gets Right To Work Crushing Young Men's Dreams
High school forward Chris Rozier was set to sign up with Florida International's basketball program until a change came in the coaching staff. That new coach's first order of business? Withdrawing Rozier scholarship offer....

All Right Screw It, Now It's An NFL Draft Live Blog
The post-to-post format is groovy but just a little taxing. So let's get down to the live blog tomfoolery everyone knows and/or loves. Refresh, relax, and remember Bea Arthur for who she was....

I See A Green Hat And I Want It Painted Black
Aaron Curry, padded in enough leather to coat an entire herd of skinless cattle, finally ads something non-black to his outfit. Neon green. He'll mesh well with the Seahawks defense....

Milton Bradley: 'I Never Had A Problem In My Life Until I Started Playing Baseball'
Milton Bradley's latest media boycott lasted about as long as Kramer's vow of silence on that episode of Senifeld. For someone who's not talking, there sure was a horn 'o plenty of quotes on Thursday....

Dan Shanoff Deconstructs The Sideline Princess
"But watching her at the event confirmed what I had thought when I watched her on TV: She was down-to-earth and completely comfortable with herself." You cad! [The Sporting Blog]...

Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....

Tony Allen Is Not Very Popular In Chicago
Boston Celtics' guard Tony Allen apparently has angered some Chicago-area individuals so much they have threatened to kill him, prompting Tom Clancy-like security for him during last night's Bulls/Celtics game at the United Center....

Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...

Stephen Curry Breaks Blogger's Heart
Stephen Curry will forgo his senior season at Davidson and enter the NBA Draft, raining tears all over the Southern Conference—and also breaking a special promise he made to one little blogger....

Goodell Wants Michael Vick To Say He's Sorry
"Does he understand the mistakes he made and is he genuine and have remorse for those actions and is he prepared to handle himself differently going forward? That will ultimately be my decision." [USA Today]...

Ghetto Golf Teaches Us About Urban Blight, Golf
An enterprising video game developer is working on a video game that combines "Grand Theft Auto" with "Tiger Woods PGA." I think even Russian mob-connected carjackers might find this one offensive....

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

Cubs Fans Will Never Escape Their Terrible Destiny
A rogue cat invaded Wrigley Field yesterday, reminding Cubbie fans everywhere that the ceaseless torment of loving sport's most accursed franchise will follow them to their eternal damnation beyond the grave....

I Guess This Is What You Live For
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Jim McMahon Is The "MVP Of The Bedroom"
It's come to this: The former Bears quarterback has become a pitchman for a mysterious sex drug. [WGN Morning News]...

Private Parts: John Daly Questions Rick Reilly's Ethics
Full disclosure: I have not read Rick Reilly's book, Who's Your Caddy? John Daly has, however, and would like to know just what it is about "off the record" that Reilly doesn't understand....