go Page 731 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is This The End Of The Line For Matt Bush?
Troubled former Padres' No. 1 overall draft pick Matt Bush released by Blue Jays, for not complying with the "zero tolerance terms of his agreement." Uh oh. [Toronto Globe And Mail]...

Cubs Just Can't Let Go Of Kerry Wood
Kerry Wood's Wrigley Field locker will remain unoccupied this season, even though the fragile fireballer is now pitching for Cleveland. They've also been asking mutual friends if Wood has said anything about them. [NBC Chicago]...

Oregon Basketball Infected By Cannibalism?
Three Oregon basketball players were cited on Monday for shooting BB guns ... at ducks! That's just sick! [Register-Guard]...

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....

This Lucky Lady Might Be The Person Riding In Tim Tebow's Sidecar
But who knows! Is she just an amorous fan? A waitress? A cousin? A young woman in need of a circumcision? It's a mystery that's sure to cause Gainesville's single ladies to hyperventilate. [TheBigLead]...

Tiger Woods Now Fully Armed And Operational
GolfBot 5000 birdied 18 to complete a five-stroke comeback and destroy yet another helpless victim yesterday at Bay Hill. Golf was fun while it lasted, huh, folks? [Los Angeles Times]...

Darren Daulton Still Delightfully Nuts
One would think that with the power of astral travel, Darren Daulton would choose to visit Vienna during the Renaissance, or Rome during the reign of the Caesars. But a card show in Ephrata, Pa.?...

NCAA Sweet 16: (1) North Carolina vs. (4) Gonzaga
East Region: No. 1 North Carolina (30-4) vs. No. 4 Gonzaga (28-5) When: Thursday, 9:57 p.m., EDT Where: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS 1) Make it Wayne Let's get this out of the way for those waking from comas: Tyler Hansbrough is the ACC's all-time leading scorer and Tywo...

Getting To The Bottom Of The Lingerie Football League
It's time for Waxing Off, the only Internet feature to turn down federal stimulus bailout money. This week's topic: The scourge of the Lingerie Football League....

More Thinking Outside The Box From The NFL Meetings
The NFL "is exploring the possibility of having sponsor logos worn unobtrusively on practice jerseys." For the Bengals I suggest Chico's Bail Bonds. [USA Today]...

Shawn Johnson Stalker Manages To Make 'Dancing With The Stars' Interesting
Duct tape, two loaded guns, a cross-country journey in a dilapidated car; yep, spring is in the air. And that's when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and Shawn Johnson....

Trey Wingo Thinks Jay Cutler Should "Get Over It"
"You know what? Players lose in the NFL. That's the way it goes. Everybody is a commodity...Everybody is tradable. If Joe Montana was tradable I'm pretty sure Jay Cutler is..." [OnTheDL]...

Volleyball Fainter Is Fine, Thanks For Asking
Watching Nikki Allen, USC's director of volleyball operations, talk...stagger...sway...timmm-ber!...is a vintage YouTubian moment which will undoubtedly follow her around for years. Thankfully, she's fine — she was just a little nervous and jet-lagged....

Tigers' Game Called Due To Lightning, Plague Of Locusts, Flood
If Jesus is indeed a Tigers' fan, he can't be pleased with this. The Detroit Tigers are the only MLB team to have scheduled a game during the holy hours on Good Friday....

You Can't Prosecute Him! He's Matt F-ing Bush!
Matt Bush, our favorite underage-drinking, lacrosse-player-throwing minor league shortstop/pitcher, has been formally charged with battery stemming from a Feb. 4 incident in a high school parking lot. [San Diego Union Tribune]...

Woman Faints During Live TV Interview
A local TV interview with the organizer of a beach volleyball tournament goes horribly awry. (There's a sentence I never thought I'd write.) To be fair, beach volleyball makes everyone light headed. [WMBB]...

New Lions Logo 23 Percent More Fierce, Should Result In Super Bowl Title
Shrouded in secrecy and guarded around-the-clock, Detroit's new logo was still somehow leaked to the public via a toy advertisement on NFLshop.com. You don't expect that from a well-oiled machine like the Lions' front office....

I'll Just Drift With The Current For Awhile. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
In the most foolhardy boating stunt since the canoe scene in Last of the Mohicans, a guy named Pedro drops a world record 127 feet over a waterfall in a kayak in Brazil. [Daily Mail]...

John Daly Insults Protected By First Amendment
A Florida judge has ruled that you are legally allowed to call John Daly a "scoundrel" and a "thug" in your newspaper. Finally, the Founding Fathers make some sense. [Sydney Morning Herald]...