go Page 760 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Revolution — And Perhaps The Olympics — May Not Be Televised
Bad news: The Olympics party you had planned, where dozens of your friends were going to come over to watch the 110 men's high hurdles on your big-screen tv, may have to be canceled. China is becoming so paranoid over Olympic security that most broadcasters — including NBC — are beginning to worry ...

Vinny Del Fuego Returns To The NBA
We don't know about you, but man, are we ever giddy about the Bulls' hiring of Vinny Del Negro as their new head coach. Vinny Del Feugo! Heavens, how we've missed that guy; NBA Jam never would have survived without him....

Goodbye To The Gap-Toothed Wonder
We don't know about you, but we'll kind of miss Michael Strahan, who retired from the NFL today, probably because he thinks coming off a title might make him John Elway. (It won't.)...

Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...

Making Teenage Faces
Colts Cheerleaders get their hair did. [Don Chavez]...

About Last Night...
What you missed while making the jump into academia......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......

The Inane "Cubs Fans-White Sox Fans: Who's Hotter?" Debate Rages On
This should make for some interesting conversation at the Pants Party [The Sports Hernia]...

Cedric Benson Runs Past More Red Lights Than Defenders
Cedric Benson, a month removed from a Sun Chips-fueled boozy boating excursion with mom gone awry, was charged with drunk driving this morning in Texas. This will surely help to build sympathy for him against what he says were trumped up charges issued during the May 3 incident....

Kuroda Is The New Rikishi
This lissome fellow is Mongolian sumo wrestler Hakuho, who looks to be contemplating where to start peeling the foil off the hardball to get to the chocolately goodness within. I've tried Hakuho, it's pretty low-grade stuff. He was one of a group of sumo on hand to watch the Dodgers Hiroki Kuroda d...

Ty Lawson Latest Tarheel To Suffer Cruel Fate Of Demon Liquor
Ty Lawson, the UNC point guard who may or may not enter the NBA draft this year, was pinched last night by Chapel Hill police officers for driving while intoxicated. According to police, "Lawson was stopped early Friday morning because of the loud music coming from the car and the smell of alcohol ...

Everything In Its Right Place
So, obviously the news of today was rather jarring for those of us currently employed at this fine establishment. Not surprising, but jarring, nonetheless....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
What you missed while trashing your workplace because they took your red stapler ... • NHL: Heart like a wheel ... Wings win Stanley Cup! For Christ's sake, don't drop it! • MLB: Paul Konerko ends our suffering, White Sox beat Royals in 15. • NBA: Suns down to four coaching candidates. Hey, where's ...

Cauliflower Ears Get Mainstream Recognition Thanks To Kimbo
One of the more disturbing and enjoyably gross aspects of Saturday night's EliteXC prime time bloodfest was the inevitable popping of James "Colossus" Thompson's swelled cauliflower ear by the mighty right of Kimbo Slice. As Kimbo's fist kept wailing and wailing on the purple upper region of Thompso...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

China Is Several Varieties Of Crazy
Sorry, but your idea of sticking 2008 needles into your head and upper body in honor of the Beijing Olympics has already been done. My question for this guy: How do you sleep? Do you take 'em all out, and then re-stick yourself in the morning? (Not shown: The 2009 needles he applied to his crotch an...

That'll Be All, Flip
It's strange to think now, but at one point, Flip Saunders was considered some sort of coaching savant. That seems like an awfully long time ago. The Pistons officially let Flip go about half an hour ago, and they're supposedly having a press conference at 2 p.m....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while smoking, um, what is that again? ... • Arena Football: New York at Colorado (10:30 p.m., ET). Did you know that Kurt Warner is on the Dragons' roster? In case it doesn't work out with the Cardinals ... [ESPN2] • College Softball: Women's College World Series, at Oklahoma City, Ch...