go Page 767 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, TBS. MLB. Atlanta Braves @ Florida Marlins. You know what? I think Billy the Marlin is cute, and I won't apologize for it. • 7:00, ESPNU. Soccer. FIFA U-20 World Cup. Argentina vs. Czech Republic. The long-anticipated rematch of their one match back when ... I don't know, they've probably pl...

If Only Mike Cooper Called New York City Home...
It's a sad commentary on the state of the summer sports scene that one of the most important things happening today (other than the Arena Football playoffs, of course) is this Mustache Madness tournament going on at Keyboard Quarterbacks....

Barry Hits #750, Loses Game, Wins A Friend
• Miguel Montero > Barry Bonds. Barry hit #750 last night, a 3-2 breaking ball over the rightfield wall that delighted people all over ... well, Pac Bell Park. He's now just 5 short of Hank Aaron, but he does trail Diamondback Miguel Montero in the statistical category of "people who won baseball ga...

Joakim Noah Is Already Making Friends
Of all the funny love connections that came out of last night's NBA Draft, the one we were most tickled by was the match of Joakim Noah and the Chicago Bulls. Seriously. Look at that guy. He looks like that before comes into the sanitarium that is the NBA. In six years, he's going to have physically...

Mark Cuban Is Suing Don Nelson For Knowing His Team
You know, it's possible that Mark Cuban isn't quite over his Mavericks' loss to the Warriors in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. How can we tell? Because he's actually suing Don Nelson for having "confidential information" and using it in the Warriors' victory. He's really doing this....

Look! NBA Draft Analysis!
Obviously, the Internets are gonna be buzzing all day today with draft analysis and all that dirty business, and everyone's gonna be telling you who the winners and losers were after a night where nothing other than the reading of names happened....


Old Men, Slingin' Hash
A fun night in the world of baseball this evening: There are a whopping seven pitchers starting tonight who are older than 40 years old....

East Side Little League Will Cap Your Ass
First of all, this is not a hockey post. This Wade Campbell is a Little League dad, who, concerned that his son wasn't getting enough playing time, had a cheerful discussion with his coach. Yes, the term "shot down like a dog" was used, but only in the most constructive of ways....

Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....

Stuart Scott Is The Broadcasting Equivalent Of Hudson Hawk
As Awful Announcing reported yesterday, tonight, ESPN will bring you a Very Special "SportsCenter" featuring Bruce Willis, Live Free Or Die Hard and all kinds of WACKY HIJINKS....

Paris Hilton Gets Out Of Jail, This Guy Goes In ... It's The Circle Of Liiiffe ...
We knew that once you begin letting fans vote on the All-Star roster, it's only a matter of time before some of them begin leaping onto the field to make pitching changes. This "numbskull," as the Chicago Sun-Times described him, was just a few feet from reaching Cubs pitcher Bob Howry in the ninth ...

We Are Outraged By A Soccer List! (Not Really)
First of all, any story which includes the sentence "Few quibbled with the choice of Kaká, the AC Milan and Brazil forward, as the greatest talent on the planet." is fine with us. But we'll admit that the rest of it didn't make much sense. But that's, you know, our bad. If you asked us to list the 5...

O-State Ballaz!
We congratulate the Oregon State Beavers on their second consecutive College World Series title, particularly because they're a bunch of crazy rapping white guys. The video above is of catcher Mitch Canham, who wants to make sure you check out O State Ballaz, the official hip-hop homepage of the 200...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while tucking in little Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown ... • College baseball: Year of the Beaver ... s...

To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, ESPN2. College Baseball. NCAA World Series, Game 2. Oregon State @ UNC. Oregon State, one win away from a national title. • 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Detroit Tigers @ Atlanta Braves. And with this, we put interleague play to bed. • 9:00, NBC. Friday Night Lights. I was so disappointed when Smash star...

WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!
On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup....

Dustin McGowan Is Making Canada Happy
I don't know if it's possible to jinx these things with blog posts, but I'm going to go ahead and risk it: Blue Jays pitcher Dustin McGowan has a no-hitter going through 8 innings. Just one walk allowed, too....

Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....

Which Athlete Will Be The Next Gay Blog Obsession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....