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Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...

Golfers, Getting Huge
MJD told you a little about this weekend, and it's certainly been discussed, but damn: Tiger Woods is really freaking jacked all of a sudden. It has some wondering whether Tiger's appearance is what inspired the PGA to finally instate steroid testing, just a few days after the U.S. Open and after ye...

Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....

About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....

Kenny Anderson Will Make You Sweat
In non-Reggie Theus coaching news, yesterday, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson was hired yesterday for a new coaching gig. And it's in that favorite place for us to drop by from time to time: The CBA! Since we saw you last, CBA, you've pared down a lot of your teams, though the Butte Daredevils...

Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....

Ryan Leaf About To Be Immortalized On Digital Film
Six months ago, Football Outsiders told the tale of "Leaf: An Almost True Story," a mock-documentary about Ryan Leaf. Apparently, the movie has progressed a bit since then: It looks like it's going to be "released" in October....

Baseball Remains Very Good To Sammy Sosa
As the last smidgen of interleague play fades from our consciousness — and we'll never forget that magical June of 2007! — we lament, for a moment, that tonight's Rangers-Cubs game will be played in Arlington rather than at Wrigley. We would love to see how Sammy Sosa's homecoming to the Friendly Co...

When Your ERA Is 0.04, Nobody Cares Whom You Took To Prom
One of the women in this photo — we're not sure which one, and we're not gonna go try and find out, lest their father hunt us down and call us out in the pages of a national newspaper — is Katie Osburn, a pitcher for Allen Park Cabrini high school in Michigan. Well, we say "a" pitcher, but we really...

College Helps You Spell
One of the main reasons to enjoy the College World Series: The brilliant, obviously university-educated, fan signs in the crowd. That one's from a Mississippi State fan....

We Welcome Sam Woods To The Planet
A few months back, our own AJ Daulerio wondered what Tiger Woods would name his impending child. Sadly, Tiger did not go with "Urethra;" instead he went with the boring Sam Alexis Woods. SAW. We suppose it's better than ASS....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after posting bail for God ... • MLB: Boston at Atlanta. This just doesn't seem right somehow. [ESPN] • Arena Football: Chicago at Colorado. Kyle Moore-Brown has been in the AFL for 13 years? That seems like a very long time. [ESPN2] • College baseball: World Series, Arizona State vs. ...

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....

You Know, You Think You Know A Guy
One would think that, after all that's gone down with him over the past year or so, Pac Man Jones would steer clear of the following things:...

It's Good To Have A Golf Champion Actually Look Like A Golfer
Like most casual golf fans in America, we spent most of the day yesterday away from the television but curious if Tiger Woods was going to win the U.S. Open. A victory by anyone else would elicit a shrug; a victory by Tiger would somehow matter more, as if we're enough of an expert in golf to unders...

Ah, Screw Birdies
If you got points for impressive pars, it would've been Tiger Woods' day ... but the man couldn't squeeze a birdie out of his Sunday round to save his life. Angel Cabrera, who shot a very impressive 69, is your winner. Oh well. I'm sure he has a dad, too....

Tiger's Nipples Look Fantastic
Playing alongside Tiger in the day's final pairing, Aaron Baddeley set the tone for the day with a triple bogey. He hasn't been able to stop the bleeding since ... He started at +2, and is now at +8....

I Smell Tiger Tears
Today just feels like a day where Tiger Woods ends up crying. It's the US Open, it's Fathers Day, he's in the final pairing at Oakmont, and he's due to become a father soon. It feels so storybook. Thank goodness Jim Nantz isn't involved ... I don't know if I could take the sappiness....

A Cub Not Named Michael Barrett Fights Someone
As noted in an earlier threadjack, Cubs' slugger Derrek Lee got into it with 6'10" Padres pitcher Chris Young. Lee, as angry baseball players are apt to do, swung wildly, and Young did not back down. Had this one not been broken up, I'd like Young's chances....

We're Apparently Going To The Wrong Bars
You might have heard about Jeff Adams, the world-class wheelchair athlete who claimed a woman placed cocaine in his mouth, and that's why he later failed a drug test. (This inspired WBRS Sports Blog to note "it really makes you wonder what kind of person would forcibly put cocaine into the mouth of ...