go Page 780 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Let Brett Favre Wisk You Into The New Year
Unless something remarkable happens, like Bill Parcells deciding to publicly hang himself in Times Square tonight, this will likely be the last Deadspin post of 2006. What a disappointment. I was hoping it would be a better one....

Tiger Woods Hits It Like A Champ
Deviant perversion Romance is in the air today here on Deadspin, as women that I find attractive keep doing things that make them less attractive. First, Hingis goes and gets engaged... and now, Elin Nordegren has gotten herself impregnated. Tiger is presumably the father, but I wouldn't rule out ...

Johnny Fontane Will Be Starting For Palermo Soon
On Christmas eve, the wife of Rino Foschi, head coach of the Palermo soccer team, opened up a pleasant-looking present that was under their Christmas tree. Inside was a severed goat's head, covered blood....

Oh Miller Don't Wanna Dance With Somebody
And thankfully, I won't have to watch him feel the heat with somebody. With somebody who (somebody who) loves him. Sigh....

The Greg Oden World Domination Tour Rolls On
I won't be here to share it with you, I'm afraid, but there are a couple of pretty noteworthy games on the college basketball schedule this afternoon. Greg Oden and Joakim Noah get it on as #3 Ohio State visits #4 Florida at 4:00 on CBS, and then at 4:30 on ESPN2, Bob Knight has a chance to become t...

Ain't Nothin' Wrong With A Little Golf, A Little Cunnilingus, Ain't Never Hurt Nobody
Here's a very special Christmas gift for the lesbian golfers in the Deadspin audience, as well as the people in charge of programming at ESPN. From Outsports.com comes the news that a new lesbian golf tour is being launched in 2007. This will be perfect when the Worldwide Leader finally launches E...

This Guy Is Very Excited About Ken Williams' Offseason Moves
It's a Christmas Miracle! Ladies and gentlemen, we present you with the spiritual brother of our friend Mike Cooper ... meet Ryan Drop....

NBA Roundup: All Suns, All Bulls, All The Time
Notes on Tuesday's doings in the National Basketball Association ......

This Might Be Why They Wear Those Difficult-To-Take-Off Bodysuits
Because we don't quite provide everything you might need to feed your international skiing jones, you might not necessarily have heard of Silvan Zurbriggen, a Swiss skiier who is in Italy for a big slalom event. He was keeping himself busy, apparently; he was arrested for masturbating outdoors in fr...

It Never Rains Might Rain In Southern California
The Chiefs take the field tonight with heavy hearts; team owner Lamar Hunt having passed away earlier in the week. I don't know if Lamar gets to control such things wherever he is, but the San Diego forecast calls for high winds and a chance for rain. That probably benefits the Chiefs and their po...

The Ryan Leaf Movie Will Probably Be Just Like "Brian's Song"
What you just saw was the trailer for Leaf: An Almost True Story. I read the article at Football Outsiders three times to convince myself that this wasn't a joke. But it's not. Leaf: An Almost True Story is happening sometime next year....

It Might Save Oregon Some Money To Just Give Everyone In The Crowd LSD
In their ongoing quest to burn the retinas of anyone who watches them, the Oregon Ducks have unveiled the newest part of their continually changing look: helmets that change color depending on the angle from which they are seen. I'm glad no one's told them about Hypercolor t-shirts....

Tank Johnson's Bodyguard Killed
Willie B. Posey was pronounced dead after being shot in the back during a fight outside a Chicago nightclub last night. Police wouldn't immediately confirm if it was the same Willie B. Posey who was arrested at Tank Johnson's house during a raid on Thursday, but Tank Johnson was seen leaving the hos...

This Is Why He's Not Known As "Feelings" Johnson
Just because we've decided to wait just a little longer to get our arms around the Marcus Vick story, we take a brief hiatus with the tale of Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson, previously one of our favorites because he has the name "Tank Johnson" entirely on the back of his jersey. We love that...

NBA Roundup: Baron Davis Takes The Helm
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

A Night For Loud Bears Fans And Silent Rams Ones
We spent a year and a half of our lives in St. Louis and went to two NFL games. The first was in 1998, when Tony Banks was the quarterback. You can imagine what happened then. The second time was in 1999, when Kurt Warner threw five touchdown passes on our 24th birthday to smash the then-vexing San ...

It's Rex Grossman's World, And We Are Just Satellites
We might make the argument that the most compelling figure in the NFL right now is Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman. This is a guy who, at times — that is to say, during times that weren't in the last month-plus — has looked like a legitimate NFL quarterback, a guy who is a leader, as they say...

Days Of Blunder
In a move that we liken to John Glenn falling out of the teacup ride at Disneyland, NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson broke his wrist on Friday when he fell out of a golf cart during a celebrity golf tournament in Florida....

Do Not Taunt The Holley Mangold
Last week, ESPN.com's Greg Garber brought the ballad of Holley Mangold to the unwashed masses, describing how her high school team lost in the Ohio Division III championship game, to Steubenville. Mangold played only on a few point-after attempts, so she can't be blamed for the loss....

Baron Davis Doesn't Give A Damn About Your Eyesight
That's Golden State Warriors swingman Monta Ellis, who's having a breakout year. He's come out of nowhere to average better than 18 points and 4 assists per game for the Warriors. It's the kind of performance that gets a guy picked up in a lot of fantasy leagues, and then gets a guy enough attention...