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This Is Getting Ridiculous
Lee to Theriot to Dempster is the new Tinkers to Evers to Chance? With a runner on third and nursing a one-run lead, reliever Ryan Dempster induced a bad-hop grounder to first baseman Derek Lee, who converted it into a game-ending double play. Cubs 3, Astros 2, and coupled with Milwaukee's 7-4 loss ...

At Last, Ned Has His Opportunity At Revenge
Sure, you can talk all you want about Michigan-Notre Dame — and the apparent curse of Bo Schembechler — but the real story this weekend is what's happening at the Orange Bowl on Saturday. That's right: It's the return of Ned!...

D-Backs Keep Doing The Bartman
We love the Kiss Cam. We absolutely can't resist it. We have three favorite Kiss Cam moments....

Inside The Yankee Stadium Proposal Prank
Click to view Last week, the kids at College Humor pulled off what we'd have to consider a prank of epic proportions; one guy put a fake marriage proposal on the big screen at Yankee Stadium as his friend, the object of the prank, sat agape with his girlfriend, who, amazingly, said "yes" before he ...

Scrape The Brewers Off The Outfield Wall; This Race Is Tied
Call me old fashioned, but I kind of liked it when the teams involved in a tense pennant race were more than three games above .500. It's entirely possible that the Cubs and Brewers could go down to the final day before the NL Central is decided, with both teams sporting a losing record. Wouldn't t...

Naked Canadians Sprinting
Apparently, a radio station in Canada was encouraging fans to break the all-time streaking record, which is something the security force for the Stampeders just loved to hear. We count four in this video, though, frankly, there are really just three; that wuss who just ran around shirtless absolutel...

There's LSU ... And Then Everyone Else
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....

You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em...
There's a big underground poker game here in Greenville that I had been trying to get into for months. Last month, somebody robbed it. [Up For Poker]...

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...

The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your book is translated into Apache ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame induction ceremony, Springfield, Mass. I'm pretty sure that international coach Mirko Novosel just fondled my buttocks! [ESPN Classic] • College football: Navy at Rutgers. Come back and fight, you cowards! I'm the Sc...

Colts Fans Are Staying Hungry
Not the best of seats for this family, but it's closer to the snack bar. Plus, right after the game, I hear that he found the third Willie Wonka Golden Ticket!...

It's Almost Like The Cubs Are Jinxed Or Something
After 100 years of futility, there was really no reason for the folks in the Wrigley bleachers to celebrate early. That's just inviting disaster, isn't it? Cubs fans have only themselves to blame for this one. Oh, and Ryan Dempster too, we suppose. Chicago, leading by a game in the NL Central and f...

About Last Night
What you missed while your editor picked up the Daily News and stood, silently ... • College football: NCAA decides to adopt Arena League rules on Thursdays. Louisville 58, Middle Tennessee 42. • MLB: In which I refuse to make the "Ethier said than done" or "It doesn't get any Ethier" play on words ...

It's The AFC West Pants Party
OK, this is finally the last one of these. Thanks for hanging in, everybody. This might be the most lopsided division in the NFL, Norv or no Norv....

The Norv Turner Watch Begins
You might remember the greatness that was Stop Shuler, the site that was devoted to keeping Heath Shuler out of Washington, not because of his politics, but because of his quarterbacking. Well, those guys are back, and with an even more noble target. Duck, Chargers fans....

It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....