go Page 789 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Ponytail Unlike Any Other
For the moment, I'm going to ignore the people who would tell you that "The Masters doesn't start until the back nine on Sunday." I've been watching for almost an hour already, and there's no way that Miguel Angel Jimenez's fucking head is bothering me this much without the tournament having start...

Masters Morning Mayhem
Golf was on at 8 a.m. this morning, which was a pretty good way to ensure that I wouldn't be watching it. But I missed some compelling action, it seems....

We Will Have Golf Today
This was supposed to be a post about golf. I suppose it still is, but I wanted to tell you that Tiger Woods was making a charge, Chad Campbell was holding steady, Rocco Mediate had started yelling "ALRIGHT, ROCCO!" everytime he made a birdie putt, and Phil Mickelson and Vijay Singh really did wres...

A Weather Forecast Unlike Any Other
They are getting in some golf today at The Masters, despite some nasty storms passing through the area. A lot of players are on the course right now, and some are making the most of the soft greens. Miguel Angel Jimenez, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tim Herron, and Jim Furyk are all 2-under-par on the day....

Opening Day At Wrigley
We received a call from a friend of ours about an hour ago, asking us to break into their email and look up some Evite information. Why? Because they were heading to a Wrigley Field Opening Day part just down the street from the old yard, and they'd lost the directions. Our friend is a Cub fan. We...

Tiger Woods Successfully Completes High Five
As we congratulate Tiger Woods for finally figuring out the correct way to slap another man's hand with his own, we take a look at the Masters, which, for all its bluster and Carlyle Group vibe, is the one golf tournament we look forward to every year, even if it's just because it reminds us that ev...

Chicago Baseball Executives Vs. Jay Mariotti (And The People Vs. Both Of Them)
Sometimes, a story comes along with absolutely no rooting interest, no good guys at all, that you end up hoping everyone will end up in a Reservoir Dogs-esque Mexcian standoff, guns aimed at each other's heads, all pulling the trigger....

Jim Nantz, King Of The WASPs
As The Masters tee off today — complete with cigarettes and littered beer cans everywhere — we cast our eyes again to Jim Nantz. After playing toadie to Billy Packer for a while — and is there a worse possible job description on earth than "Billy Packer's toadie?" — Nantz heads to Augusta, a place...

Ah, The Pageantry Of Augusta
This is John Daly teeing off during a practice round at the Masters yesterday, in a photo from The Augusta Chronicle. If you ever had any doubt as to why John Daly is popular, that doubt should now rest. Yes, yes, a tradition unlike any other....

Needling Barry, Day One
When we first heard that the Giants would open their season in San Diego, we were a little disappointed. Who's going to rag on Barry Bonds in San Diego? It's the most laid-back of all cities; it makes Indianapolis look like Baghdad outside of the Green Zone. But we were wrong. San Diego, you didn'...

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Dusty
It's Opening Day, and that means it's time to play "What's Your Caption?"...

Baseball. Tonight.
The long 162-game journey begins tonight for the Indians and the White Sox. It will be the most heated game between the two teams since Roger Dorn trade Jack Parkman to the White Sox in Major League II....

Was Not To Be For Wie
For a while today, it looked like Michelle Wie would earn her first major victory on the LPGA Tour. But Karrie Webb and Lorena Ochoa both eagled the 18th to head into a playoff at -9, while Wie's birdie putt just singed the cupp, leaving her at -8, tied for 3rd with Ben Roethlisberger's ex-girlfri...

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Padres
We're two days away from Opening Day (two days!), so it's time to start previewing the season. Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we're going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don't Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at tips@deadsp...

Your NL West "Preview"
You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pu...

Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....

The Ultimate Time Capsule Photo
Someone just sent us this picture, and we don't know where it's from, who took it or what the circumstances were around it. But, somehow, it made us extremely sad. Man. That could have been Whitey Ford, Ted Williams and Joe Louis hanging out right there. Oh well....

Your NL Central "Preview"
Our personal favorite division has had a monotonous feel to it the last few years, with the Cardinals and the Astros advancing and meeting in the NLCS two consecutive times. (This, of course, is fine with us.) We also have a feeling that the NL Central is the only division in baseball with three ...

It's Almost Opening Day! AL Central Preview
We almost forgot in all the George Mason hysteria, but, jeez, folks, baseball starts, like, Sunday. So, we figured it was probably time to start paying attention. Henceforth, we're going to be previewing each division, two a day, through the end of the week. We thought we'd start with the America...

It Gets The Feelings Out
The question has been asked by sports fans for a while now, and it's tough to get a straight answer: Is it all right to cry? Howard Stern's old radio show once ran a montage of celebrities crying in public, and though the sentiments were sincere enough, it was difficult to hear the clips without h...