go Page 798 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Different Kind Of White Sox
Wondering why the White Sox have been playing so poorly lately? It's the panties. Perhaps we should elucidate. Apparently, ChiSox outfielder Timo Perez, to help end a slump, has been hanging "extra-large panties" around the clubhouse in an attempt to pull the team out of its tailspin....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
Leftovers: Gates Back, Not Back, We're Confused
· Chargers tight end Antonio Gates signs contract but suspended for first game. Fantasy owners tiptoe toward ledge. [San Diego Union-Tribune] · Felix Potvin will not play in Russia. Neither will Antonio Gates, actually. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] · Browns trade receiver to Patriots, guaranteeing immed...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...
Blogdom's Best: The Last Great Hockey Blogger
· Complete rundown of NHL TV deal from the last man who cares. [Off Wing Opinion · Some offseason news on the New Jersey Nets. Wee! [Can't Stop The Bleeding] · Yankees bloggers now turning on Joe Torre. [Pinstripe Alley] · People would hate the Padres for winning the World Series. [Gaslamp Ball]...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...
Bill Simmons' Continued Blind Spot
We're sorry to pick on him — really! — but we feel obliged to point out that in his new More Cowbell column, which looks at the American League MVP race, our boy Bill says the National League race — a league that Simmons full confesses to "knowing nothing about" — "can be summed up in one word: P...
Ozzie Guillen, Sexual Profiler
According to resident no-fun-guy Rick Morrissey at the Chicago Tribune, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen might be a little too loosey-goosey with how he jokes around with his friends....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as groundhogs destroy your home's foundation ... · ESPN football: Chargers at Packers. Drew Brees, a jug of wine and thou. · Those incredible homers over at TBS present San Francisco Giants at Atlanta Braves. · WNBA: Minnesota Lynx at Detroit Shock. When they were naming this team, we ...
Blogdom's Best: Adam Dunn, Philosopher King
News And Views From The Land Of Stealing Wireless ... · Reds slugger has figured out why the Cubs always suck. [Red Reporter] · Padres outfielder Mark Sweeney looks suspiciously like Vanilla Ice. [Gas Lamp Ball] · Borderline crazed Angels blogger ready to kill "ASSHOLE UNCONSCIOUS RACIST AMATEUR DIC...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your Hummer actually burns gas just sitting in the driveway ... · Monday Night Football: Dolphins vs. Bears. It's an exhibition game, which means we're going to see a lot more of QB Ryan Dinwiddie than we'd prefer. · White Sox at Yankees. Costanzna, get me a couple of those calzones...
Ryno's Campaign Against Mustache Rides
We had completely forgotten about this, so we give big mad propers — that's Phil Mushnick-approved "street lingo" — to Can't Stop The Bleeding for reminding us: recent Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg, according to observers and tons of rumors, once had steroid stud Rafael Palmeiro traded for sleeping...
Blogdom's Best: Look, Bloggers Are Scooping Now!
News And Views From People Wearing Pajamas · Cardinals blog first to break news that top prospect about to join big club. [The Birdwatch] · Watch, as the Cubs fans all commit hari kari instead of Harry Carey. [Bleed Cubbie Blue] · Don't look now, but the Orioles might drop Sidney Ponson, Steve Kline...
Richardson Nailed For A Costly Dunk
We know that a new paternity suit in the NBA can hardly be classified as "news" anymore, but hey, it's still pretty fun, right? Today's hammer fell down on Warriors dunk dude Jason Richardson, who is being sued by a former paramour — that means "lady he used to do it with" — for a monthly child su...
Mickelson's Wife Openly Mocks Him (Again)
We've always kind of assumed golfer Phil Mickelson's wife is always laughing at him. Her attractiveness level vastly exceeds his — like, vastly — he's more famous for losing at golf than for winning and, all told, he's kind of doof (and a notoriously bad gambler — but we won't get into that here)....
MLB Makes You Work Hard For Their Money
From the useless junk on MLB Auctions department comes this gem: For $1,640 (and counting), the Chicago Cubs will put your ass to work. If you're the winning bidder — auction closes on Friday — you will be "allowed" to work on the grounds crew at Wrigley Field in August, when they play the rapidl...
We Bring Tiger Here To Bury, Not To Praise, Him
Yet another reason why being a multi-millionaire athlete that people worship all the world over must be a pain in the ass: People are always looking for you to screw up so they can metaphorically punch you in the face. Two golf strokes, over a 72-hole tournament, ultimately isn't much, but in the ...
You Should See The Trophy They Give For The Jamie Farr Classic
Yeah, sorry, someone sent this to us, and we just couldn't resist....
Tiger Woods Remains World's Whitest Man
Tiger Woods didn't play in whatever bland, corporate-sponsored backslap-fest the PGA Tour hosted last weekend, but that's because he was in Las Vegas. Gambling away millions? Snorting lines off stripper cleavage? Drinking milk past its expiration date? Anything? Of course not. It's Tiger Woods. H...