goat Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Robert Sarver Filled His GM's Office With Goats, Who Then Filled His GM's Office With Goat Shit
The last decade of Phoenix Suns basketball under owner Robert Sarver has been absolute shit, and there are no signs that it’ll get better sometime soon. Over at ESPN, Kevin Arnovitz has a long and depressing read for any Suns fan, one that focuses mainly on the failures and mistakes of the team’s o...
Let's All Gawk At This Impossible Lionel Messi Pass
Every day, we wake up to face the cruel realities of a world driven to ruin by overconsumption and powerful men’s self-absorbed disregard for the rest of us. We all find ways to overcome the internal crises that come with being alive in 2019, finding solace in moments that make us believe that there...
Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...
Let The Escaped Animals Just Be Wild Animals
The law should be: Once an escaped non-pet animal has been on the loose long enough for the local news to show up and get it on video, it has claimed its freedom and gets to be a wild animal after that. You may transport it to its natural habitat if you want to and are able to do it safely and human...
Goats On The Lam
This morning, residents in Boise, Idaho, woke up to approximately 75 marauding goats roaming from house to house, eating everything in their path like a plague of slow-moving, adorable locusts....
Roger Federer Says Serena Williams Is The Greatest Tennis Player Of All Time, Period
Jason Gay wrote a profile of Roger Federer for WSJ Magazine that covers everything from Federer tearing his meniscus while trying to give his kids a bath (the recuperation preceded two Grand Slam titles last year) to what Anna Wintour thinks of Federer’s potential move into the fashion world after h...
Roger Federer Has Fully Dropped The Illusion Of Being Human
The 36-year-old even did the ceremonial net-cord hand-wave apology after, as if to say, “I am sorry that I took up this sport, which you play for an honest living, and play it like a glitchy video game.”...
A Field Guide To Boston Sports Radio Chowderheads
Every day, it seems, a different Boston sports radio dipshit is delivering a take from a time when segregation was acceptable, getting attention for being five seconds away from challenging a listener to a parking lot fight for Tom Brady’s honor. Although you may not pay attention to these awful stu...
Earl Manigault Flew High And Fell Hard
This feature first appeared in Sport magazine and appears here with the author’s permission....
Weird Minor-League Strikeout Likely The Most Bizarre You Have Ever Seen
This is a weird strikeout!...
Serena Williams Is Definitely Pregnant, Definitely Won The Australian Open While Pregnant
Hours after Serena Williams, the most dominant tennis player of all time, appeared to announce her pregnancy by sharing and then deleting a photo of herself in a bathing suit captioned “20 weeks,” her publicist confirmed that she is indeed expecting her first child. ...
10 Years Ago Today, Lionel Messi Became Lionel Messi<em></em>
Ten years. It’s been 10 whole years since Lionel Andrés Messi, then just a 19-year-old kid, did this to Getafe:...
The FBI Is Now Investigating Hartford's Disaster Of A Minor-League Stadium Deal
The Rockies’ Double-A affiliate in Hartford, Conn. has run into plenty of problems since deciding to build a taxpayer-funded ballpark two years ago, including but not limited to lawsuits and construction delays. Here’s a new one: an FBI probe into how public money has been spent on the new park....
Lionel Messi Is God
Seriously, there’s nothing more to say. Just look at what he did to Espanyol’s whole team yesterday:...
WWE Announcer Falsely Claims Goldberg Was The Greatest-Ever WCW Champion
Tonight, Bill Goldberg returned to pro wrestling, with WWE announcer Michael Cole falsely claiming he was “the greatest champion in WCW history.”...
Philly Sports Radio World Rocked By True Story Of Fake Caller "Dwayne From Swedesboro"<em></em>
A local Philadelphia iteration of Skippy And Goatface’s Morning Sports Holocaust on 97.5 The Fanatic has an infamous caller: “Dwayne From Swedesboro.” Dwayne’s schtick is that he’s black, horny for white women, and runs into all sorts of paternity-test problems. According to an exhaustive, truly imp...
Messi A Fool
Behold Lionel Messi’s perfect overhead-kick assist from today’s friendly against Sampdoria in all its glory:...
Tim Duncan Was Big Fun
The first time I ever watched Tim Duncan play basketball, I had no idea who he was. I’d tuned in to an ACC telecast expecting to be paying attention to Randolph Childress and Scooter Banks for Wake Forest, but possession after possession this tall freshman kept materializing right in the middle of t...
The New Stadium For Hartford's Minor League Baseball Team Is A Total Mess
The Rockies’ AA affiliate Hartford Yard Goats are performing well enough in their first season, and sit in third place in the Eastern League, but the Connecticut club’s stadium situation is a different story. To make matters worse, the mayor and developers are blaming each other for the fiasco....