USMNT Beats Terrible Team To Win Meaningless Trophy
The Gold Cup is a shitty tournament. It’s the championship of CONCACAF, a garbage confederation with two consistently…
Jordan Morris Is Your Unlikely Gold Cup Hero
“Idk why Jordan Morris is out there,” I typed to the Deadspin staff exactly two minutes before his game-winning goal.…
A Beautiful Jozy Altidore Free Kick Gave The USMNT A Short-Lived Lead
Jozy Altidore was in a bit of a slump, having not scored for the USMNT since September of 2016. But suddenly, he’s on…
Jamaica Knock Mexico Out Of Gold Cup On 88th-Minute Free Kick Stunner
Kemar Lawrence’s free kick left Mexican keeper Jose Corona dumbfounded as the 88th-minute goal put the New York Red…
USMNT Win 2-0 Despite El Salvador's Biting And Nipple-Tweaking
The USMNT cruised to a 2-0 victory in tonight’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal despite the fact that El Salvador…
USMNT Takes Healthy Halftime Lead Thanks To Two Unlikely Heroes
The USMNT leapt out to a 2-0 first-half lead over El Salvador thanks to goals from two unlikely players. Despite Jozy…
Costa Rica Grateful For Panama's Huge Boner
The opening game of tonight’s Gold Cup action between Costa Rica and Panama seemed to be on a slow ride toward extra…
The USMNT's C Team Barely Got By Martinique
The USMNT’s Gold Cup match Wednesday night looked easy on paper, even with mostly fringe players getting starts. But…
French Guiana Says Fuck It, Starts Ineligible Player In Gold Cup
In last night’s Gold Cup match between French Guiana and Honduras, former Chelsea winger Florent Malouda played the…
CONCACAF'd
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Even In Mexico, They're Admitting Last Night's Game Was Horseshit
Last night’s screw-job that robbed Panama of a Gold Cup upset over Mexico was so egregious, the Mexican press and even…
Mexico Beat Costa Rica On Bullshit Penalty
In a finish only former CONCACAF president and disgraced ex-FIFA official Jack Warner could love, Mexico defeated Costa…
Trinidad And Tobago Vs. Panama Did Not End On A High Note
Today’s Gold Cup quarterfinal between Trinidad and Tobago and Panama came down to penalties. That’s never a good thing,…
Take That, Cuba!
Clint Dempsey put the U.S. up 1-0 on a defection-ravaged Cuban team in the fourth minute of today’s Gold Cup…
Trinidad And Tobago Draw Mexico With Last Second Corner Kick Goal
Before a largely pro-Mexico crowd in Charlotte, Trinidad and Tobago almost threw away their Gold Cup match, before…
Jozy Altidore is off the USMNT Gold Cup squad, and DaMarcus Beasley is on, after Jurgen Klinsmann made his final roster…
USA Score, Finally, As Dempsey Puts Yanks Up 1-0 On Haiti
A thus-far uninspired performance by the U.S. has, at least, resulted in a goal and once again it’s Clint Dempsey who…
Oh, Canada
Canada settled for a scoreless draw in Gold Cup action against El Salvador in Carson last night, but only because…