gold Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....

Michigan's Parachute Guy Has Raised The Bar On Ball-Delivery Stunts
This video is nearly four minutes long. It has a man jumping out of a plane and into Michigan Stadium before last week's Michigan St-Michigan game. It is great....

Weekend Winner: Big Ten Gamblers And Conspiracy Theories
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Wisconsin Badgers, who were up 25 with 6 minutes left, and went for two. It didn't please Minnesota, but it pleased some people with money on the game....

ESPN Producer Caught Beating It Outside A Lady's Window
Win 17 Emmys, and no one calls you "Emmy-winner" Neil Goldberg. Head ESPN's NASCAR coverage, and no one calls you "motorsports guru" Neil Goldberg. But stand on a stool to masturbate to a woman getting dressed just once......

Randy Moss's "Disgusting Act" Finally Put To Political Use, And The NFL Isn't Happy
Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold's new campaign commercial compares "excessive" touchdown celebrations—including Randy Moss's infamous "mooning" of the Lambeau faithful—to the behavior of Washington lobbyists. It's a bit of a stretch, but the NFL is characteristically up in arms....

Trio of Bros Sing About Marquette Basketball
Ever wonder what a song about financial aid that samples Free Fallin' would sound like? How about a bunch of bros rap-defending Taylor Swift? Or an acoustic take on Axe Shower Gel?...

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

Tony Dungy Is An Insufferable Shit
"If I'm Reggie Bush, I give back the trophy," Tony Dungy said yesterday in his capacity as football's freelance moral compass. This is all he does anymore: intone some insufferably pious crap that's just aching to be cross-stitched onto a decorative pillow....

Sportswriter Fired For Being A Homer Takes Job With Favorite Team
Remember Pete Pelegrin, the Miami Herald's FIU beat writer (and "FIU evangelist," in the words of a coworker) who publicly and spectacularly quit the paper because they were giving Miami more coverage? He's now working for FIU. Synergy!...

Let's All Watch <em>Around The Horn</em> Uncomfortably Discuss The Mariotti Mess
Around The Horn returned from its fortuitously timed hiatus today to finally discuss Mariotti the best way they know: with a timer and a scoring system, and by barking like trained seals....

Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....

A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....

This Kid Was Promptly Beaten Up By Players From Eight Different Countries
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....

Cal Second-String Wide Receiver Is Third-Rate Rapper
For senior Alex "Loggy" Lagemann, the upcoming football season couldn't have come at a worse time: the addition of practices, study halls, and games to his schedule will only take valuable time away from his true passion: making awful, awful rap music....

Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...

Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....

Sportswriter Publicly Quits, Salts The Earth In His Wake
The Miami Herald's FIU beat writer figured out that his paper and his city (to say nothing of the world) care a hell of a lot more about The U than they do FIU. His scathing letter of resignation pulled no punches....

Last Night's Winner: Jeremy Lin, NBA Player
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jeremy Lin, the undrafted Taiwanese-American Harvard guy who signed a two-year, partially guaranteed contract with the Warriors and immediately became the NBA's most popular 12th man....

Producer Of Ridiculous Movies Buys Golden State Warriors
Peter Guber, Tinseltown bigshot and producer of Vision Quest and Flashdance, is part of the ownership group that has bid a record $450 million for the Warriors. He's a maniac and he's spending like he's never spent before. [Deadline]...