golden Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Nice Lady Fan Peeing In Her Seat (NSFW)
We know. The line to the ladies room is long. We sympathize. But still: ew ew ew....

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Wants A Statue, Damn It
Perhaps emboldened by Bill Russell and Jerry West finally receiving well-deserved statues, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is clamoring for an unmerited one of his own....

Charlie Bell's Love-Advice Videos Are Strangely Poignant Now That His Wife Is Charged With Stabbing Him
Golden State backup guard Charlie Bell has a bizarre web series called the "Truth Doctor" in which he doles out love advice to the masses (relatively speaking: most clips get about 500 views) and takes people on tours of his sparse apartment. Another interesting tidbit about Charlie Bell: his wife...

Michael Irvin Wants To Restore 80s-Style Discipline To Miami Football
Today, University of Miami (by way of North Philadelphia) football coach Al Golden took to Twitter with a major announcement. It involved "U Discipline," his desire to "Uphold The Legacy," and a quote from human-hurricane Michael Irvin....

Marquette's Campus Rappers Have Composed A Fight Song Worthy Of An 11 Seed
Well, since the Big East bellyflopped in the tourney's first weekend, we have two teams—UConn and, uh, Marquette—left reppin' the supposedly superior conference that started with 11 teams on Thursday....

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has Golden Mugshot History
Courtesy of "NFL Facts and Rumors" via The Smoking Gun comes visual documentation as to why the Ted Williams had trouble getting a job. Also, he was detained by LAPD early this morning for squabbling. [The Smoking Gun]...

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has A Job Offer From The Cavs
Columbus, Ohio, homeless man Ted Williams, which is American for "Susan Boyle," apparently has been offered a home and a job doing voiceover work for the Cavs. Dreams do come true, America, just so long as they go viral first. [Business Insider]...

Ray Lewis Wants To Snuggie With You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Illinois Men's Basketball Team Plays Better Basketball When Using A Men's Basketball
No. 17 Illinois got off to a slow start against Oakland tonight. They were down 15-6 in the first half when players complained to a ref that the game ball felt light. That's because it was a women's regulation basketball....

Toddler Dies After Fall From Staples Center Luxury Suite
A two-year old boy died last night after sustaining injuries in a fall from a luxury suite after the Warriors-Lakers game at the Staples Center....

Michigan's Parachute Guy Has Raised The Bar On Ball-Delivery Stunts
This video is nearly four minutes long. It has a man jumping out of a plane and into Michigan Stadium before last week's Michigan St-Michigan game. It is great....

Weekend Winner: Big Ten Gamblers And Conspiracy Theories
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Wisconsin Badgers, who were up 25 with 6 minutes left, and went for two. It didn't please Minnesota, but it pleased some people with money on the game....

Trio of Bros Sing About Marquette Basketball
Ever wonder what a song about financial aid that samples Free Fallin' would sound like? How about a bunch of bros rap-defending Taylor Swift? Or an acoustic take on Axe Shower Gel?...

Sportswriter Fired For Being A Homer Takes Job With Favorite Team
Remember Pete Pelegrin, the Miami Herald's FIU beat writer (and "FIU evangelist," in the words of a coworker) who publicly and spectacularly quit the paper because they were giving Miami more coverage? He's now working for FIU. Synergy!...

Cal Second-String Wide Receiver Is Third-Rate Rapper
For senior Alex "Loggy" Lagemann, the upcoming football season couldn't have come at a worse time: the addition of practices, study halls, and games to his schedule will only take valuable time away from his true passion: making awful, awful rap music....

Sportswriter Publicly Quits, Salts The Earth In His Wake
The Miami Herald's FIU beat writer figured out that his paper and his city (to say nothing of the world) care a hell of a lot more about The U than they do FIU. His scathing letter of resignation pulled no punches....

Last Night's Winner: Jeremy Lin, NBA Player
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jeremy Lin, the undrafted Taiwanese-American Harvard guy who signed a two-year, partially guaranteed contract with the Warriors and immediately became the NBA's most popular 12th man....

Producer Of Ridiculous Movies Buys Golden State Warriors
Peter Guber, Tinseltown bigshot and producer of Vision Quest and Flashdance, is part of the ownership group that has bid a record $450 million for the Warriors. He's a maniac and he's spending like he's never spent before. [Deadline]...

Golden Tate's Donut Crimes Becomes Obvious Ad Opportunity
As (sorta) predicted, Top Pot Doughnuts has turned a NFL's player's sugar addiction—and a fortuitous breaking and entering—into marketing gold. [Photo submitted by Seattle reader Jon.]...

Golden Tate's Dramatic 911 Donut Call: "They're Drunk And Being Retarded"
Listen in as an exasperated donut maker asks police to save her from two buffoons who stole her donuts and her keys. Also: an NFL wideout with "average" build who is "maybe 5'9"? Maybe he needs more than donuts....