good Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ignore The Haters, Wearing A Bucket On Your Head At A Baseball Game Can Save Your Life
Picture yourself at a mid-summer baseball game. You’ve had a few cold ones. You’ve polished off the bucket of 24 slimy buffalo wings that you spent $84 on. You’re honestly starting to get a little bored. I’m gonna put this damn bucket on my head, you think. That will spice things up....
Canada Has Its Own Wonderteen And Bayern Munich Just Paid $13 Million For Him
Bayern Munich have completed a deal today with the Vancouver Whitecaps for the MLS team’s 17-year-old winger, Alphonso Davies, effective at the January transfer window after he turns 18. The German giants will pay $13 million for Davies up front, with various bonuses kicking in if the young Canadian...
Pizza Dipshit John Schnatter Claims Victimhood And Burns Roger Goodell In Strange, Strange Radio Interview
Papa John Schnatter did an interview on Friday with Terry Meiners of NewsRadio 840 WHAS, reflecting upon his extremely bad and dumb week and the bizarre and offensive comments that got him into so much trouble. I suggest listening to the whole thing. Meiners is direct and reasonably tough, and calls...
The World's Ugliest Dog Is Dead, Probably Not Of Ugliness<em></em>
Weeks after being crowned the World’s Ugliest Dog, 9-year-old bulldog Zsa Zsa died Tuesday. She was assassinated while delivering a speech at a town hall. No, okay, she passed in her sleep....
Minnesota United's Collin Martin Comes Out As Gay
Minnesota United midfielder Collin Martin became the only active openly gay man in American sports on Friday, coming out publicly with a message on Twitter and a very cool photo ahead of his team’s Pride Night game....
South Korea's Performance Is Why The World Cup Exists<em></em>
If there’s one thing that will really stick with me from this morning’s World Cup action, it isn’t Mexico spending 90 minutes stress-barfing all over themselves. Neither is it the shock of defending champion Germany failing to get out of the group stage. What I’ll most likely remember long after thi...
Grateful Mexico Fans Are Treating South Korea Fans Like Royalty<em></em>
Despite a 3-0 loss to Sweden, Mexico fell ass-backwards into the knockout rounds because of some late heroics from an already-doomed South Korean squad. After Mexico’s fate became clear against Sweden, their fans turned their attention towards the Germany-South Korea game in hopes that the questiona...
This Is The World's Ugliest Dog<em></em>
The Sonoma-Marin Fair hosted its annual World’s Ugliest Dog Contest this past weekend, and no pooch could beat out Zsa Zsa for top honors. Zsa Zsa is a testament to the horrifying process of inbreeding that sapped the English bulldog gene pool of its diversity, but at least she got first prize! Here...
Make Tennis Trick Shots Worth Two Points
Discipline and rhythm and mental gruel are just a few of the things that make tennis such a compelling sport. Two players blasting crosscourt forehands at each other until one of them finally blinks and throws in a down the line shot or a drop shot that could set one of them up with a winner—it make...
Bark In The Park Event Goes Sideways When Very Good Dog Spots OH MY GOD ARE THOSE BASEBALLS!
A peaceful Bark in the Park event at the Dodgers’ Double-A affiliate took a turn for the better when an almost impossibly good doggo saw that the humans were throwing baseballs left and right out there, with none of his fellow four-legged buddies stepping up to do the dang retrieving:...
Listen, It's The Offseason Now So We're Going To Talk About This Dumb Basketball Idea
A galaxy-brained NBA Reddit user posed a reasonable question this morning: Why can’t four Golden State Warriors link arms in a circle around Steph Curry, so that no defenders can get near him to contest his shot?...
Conference USA Is Completely Revamping Its Conference Schedule Setup And It's Just Brilliant
Tired of low seeds and early exits from the NCAA tournament, Conference USA is ready to try something different....
Listen To Rudy Giuliani<em></em> Get Booed By Thousands Of Yankees Fans On His Birthday
Rudy Giuliani celebrated his 74th birthday by attending yesterday’s Yankees game, and reports from the scene indicated that he was booed heartily by the fans in attendance when his birthday was announced by the public address announcer. Now, thankfully, we have video of the moment for all to enjoy:...
Rudy Giuliani Celebrates 74th Birthday By Getting Booed By Yankees Fans
Today is Rudy Giuliani’s birthday. The former New York City mayor and lifelong buffoon and current lawyer to Donald Trump decided to put on a Yankees cap and a World Series ring and head on down to the Bronx to celebrate the big 7-4 by taking in an Astros-Yankees afternoon game. So how’d it go? ...
Report: NFL Owners Didn't Actually Vote On The New Anthem Policy
Yesterday, Roger Goodell proudly unveiled the NFL’s new policy regarding players and the national anthem. A lot of people hated it and President Donald Trump loved it, but the league made sure to note that the policy passed with a “unanimous” vote by the owners. That’s what mattered, that the obscen...
Report: The NFL Polled Americans About Signing Colin Kaepernick
Just after the NFL introduced its new and grotesquely vague anthem policy, Yahoo Sports reported that the league hired a Washington consulting firm to poll Americans about whether they believed Colin Kaepernick should’ve been signed by an NFL team. The study, which was conducted four months into Kae...
Wonderteen Juan Soto Homers On First Pitch Of First MLB Start
Nineteen-year-old Nationals outfielder Juan Soto became the youngest position player to start in the majors since 2012 tonight, and he immediately proved his worth. On the very first ball that he saw off Padres pitcher Robbie Erlin, Soto crushed a three-run oppo dinger 422 feet into left, earning a ...
I Have A Very Good Idea That Will Fix Everything Wrong With American Pro Sports
Because we are not fools, we can all agree that there are two major problems currently plaguing, to various degrees, the four major sports leagues in North America: tanking and games that start way too damn late. I can fix this....
Innocent Beer Rudely Displaced By Baseball
As baseball catching implements go, the beer cup is less than ideal—it’s minimally flexible, the opening is only slightly larger than the diameter of a baseball, and there’s dang beer in there! But a man will do desperate things to bring home a foul ball from a May Giants-Pirates game:...
The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits
Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was...