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Atletico Madrid kick themselves in the ass to death
Let’s give a round of applause to Atletico Madrid, for the most batshit exit from the Champions League, as well as for signaling the end of an era for their club....

Week 2’s NFL MVP? That award goes to Kyler Murray
As tempting as it is to call Tua Tagovailoa the most valuable player of Week 2, he had help. Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle meep-meeped all over the Raiders, but he earned so much respect that this is the weekend everyone learned how to spell his last name. He’s now Mr. Tagovailoa. In Week 2, Micah P...

The Yankees know better than to play three- or even two-card Monty
It’s no secret. The Yankees have been awful in the month of August. Since the trade deadline Aug. 2, the once mighty Yankees have gone 3-12 (at the time of writing this), have yet to win a series, and have been outscored by 23 runs. Is it the curse of Joey Gallo? Perhaps. After all, the two-time All...

Nick Kyrgios is driving everyone nuts at Wimbledon
No matter where you stand on Nick Kyrgios, it’s impossible to not feel just about everything when watching him. And his run to the quarters (so far) at Wimbledon has been perhaps the most shining example of that in his career. The fact that he’s doing all this before he possibly heads off to prison ...

If this is the price for a superstar quarterback, I’ll pass
I’m exhausted trying to think of ways to drive home the severity of the allegations against Deshaun Watson. The depth of his indiscretions and sheer volume of his accusers is hard to put into words. It’s one of those things that you need to see visually to contextualize just how many massage therapi...

And we all thought Barcelona was done big-game hunting
We didn’t really get as big of a window to laugh at Barcelona as we thought or hoped. Proving the life lesson that you need to celebrate anything worth celebrating at that time and that place or you’ll miss the opportunity. Barça is roaring in La Liga right now, all the way up to second after winnin...

Greg Gumbel has got some HOT takes, who knew?
ESPN needs to have a Greg Gumbel day on First Take, because it appears that this man has been simmering with hot takes for years. He recently appeared on Sports Illustrated’s Jimmy Traina’s SI Media Podcast and let it fly about how he feels about the recent contracts that NFL broadcasters have recei...

Of course Bernie Sanders is the senator to be upset about the greed in baseball, but he makes a great point
Major League Baseball may soon have another fight on its hands. There’s a reason that there was never a USFL or an ABA to challenge MLB in the 20th century. The league has always been exempt from the antitrust laws passed in the Sherman Antitrust act of 1890 that attempt to ensure open competition i...

Fictional Hooper Bracket: Rucker Region
This region is a little more unconventional than the Venice Courts. There are old favorites like Tommy Sheppard, but also characters from anime, commercials, and a Ray Allen appearance that you might have forgotten about from the early 2000s....

The timing of Mike Tomlin hiring Brian Flores is … odd
Brian Flores is gainfully employed again. But is it for the right reasons?...

Doug Gottlieb is a moron
Doug Gottlieb has made some moronic statements in his time as a sports personality. There was that time he was the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament set with Charles Barkley, Greg Gumbel, Greg Anthony, Kenny Smith and decided to go with this joke live, on-air: “I don’t why you guys asked me,” Gottlie...

NFL Week 13: Baltimore is better, but Pittsburgh has a good history in these types of games
Week 13 is normally when we start seeing the NFL playoff picture unfold. However, in 2021, we’re still unsure if there are even any good teams in the league. The NFL is so tightly knit nowadays that even the 0-10-1 Detroit Lions still have not been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs....

I’m almost free
When you’re a fan of a team, you can’t really identify some threshold or benchmark before you know a coach will be fired. You can say before a season that this record wouldn’t be good enough, but you can never be sure, especially when it comes to the Chicago Bears. After all, all of us Bears fans we...

SEE IT: Robot hitting half-court shot shows they're taking over sports to prep for taking over world
The Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and I, Robot all tried to warn us, but we’re not listening. The basketball robot known as CUE5 has been turning heads with its incredible shooting skills. Last night, during halftime of the USA-France gold medal game, it continued to threaten the livelihoods of...

Because Tokyo 2021 is weird and shouldn’t be happening, Deadspinners recall their favorite past Olympic moments
Conflicted about tuning in tonight for the Opening Ceremonies of an Olympics that most of the host nation don’t even want in the middle of a pandemic where athletes are essentially being greeted with positive COVID-19 tests at the airport and rumors abound of possible cancellation even as it kicks o...

Kyle Schwarber is as consistent as chunky peanut butter
“Kyle Schwarber is a powerhouse!” says the Cubs fan after Schwarber’s first season in the bigs. ...

Gerrit Cole gives away the game
Were you in the mood for an extremely uncomfortable two minutes of media interaction to kick off your day? I bet you were. Who wouldn’t be? This will probably look like any meeting you’ve had with upper management. Step up, Gerrit Cole, and give the people what they want!...

This week in The Ladies Room: NBC Sports Bay Area's Jessica Kleinschmidt
Welcome to the Ladies Room - A Deadspin Sports Podcast....

The boys of… spring? Full-season baseball back in Brooklyn for the first time since 1957
Tuesday was a big night for the Brooklyn Cyclones, as they played their first home game in more than 600 days, celebrated their 2019 New York-Penn League championship, and, after 20 years as a short-season affiliate of the Mets, brought full-season baseball back to Brooklyn. The Cyclones’ 4-3 loss t...