gus Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them....

The Cowboys Scoreboard Punter Drinking Game
You don't need a reason to drink this weekend, but you may need a reason to watch a 49ers-Cowboys preseason game that doesn't include "it was the only thing the sheriff would let me watch from the holding cell."...

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

Buzz Bissinger's <em>3 Nights In August</em> To Become 2 Hours Wasted At Your Local Multiplex
That other baseball movie is flailing about, but the adaptation of 3 Nights In August, Bissinger's Moneyball diss track and paean to Tony La Russa and the manly virtues of lineup construction, is moving along nicely. The nerds can't win....

Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...

Police Report: Gus Johnson Fought With Restaurant Manager
The Gus Johnson police report is here, and there's a little more to it than we were led to believe. Saturday's Blues City Cafe altercation wasn't just verbal; there was definitely a fight....

Gus Johnson Does Not Send His Compliments To The Chef
So the whole Gus-Johnson-in-handcuffs story turns out to be a "show's over people, nothing more to see here" type of deal, it appears. The CBS sportscaster wasn't arrested, and no charges were filed....

Gus Johnson Handcuffed Saturday Morning After Outburst At Memphis Restaurant?
So sayeth The Big Lead: "Sources say Johnson had become increasingly surly during his dining experience, and complained vociferously about the service and his food." [The Big Lead]...

Sock it To Me, Sir Alex
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Sir Alex Ferguson can go fuck himself. Okay, literally, that might be a bit of a tall order, but he does have a saggy set of B-cups so he could at least give himself a good feeling up. I mean this with the utmost respect, of course—the guy h...

Tarvaris Jackson Will Continue Being Molded From The Sidelines
The biggest question mark for the Minnesota Vikings going into this year was if second-year quarterback Tarvaris Jackson had progressed enough to run the offense. The flirtations with Brett Favre not withstanding, Vikings head coach Brad Childress made a valiant effort to put his faith behind his sh...

Sastre Wins the Tour Pending a Few Dozen Piss Tests
Carlos Sastre continued Spain's dominance in all things sport this summer (watch out LeBron) with his win at the 2008 Tour de France. Of course that wasn't the only news to come out of the oft-marred race following the final stage. ...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...

Make Sure Your Child Is Born In August, People
Slate, continuing to obsess over the arcane and curious, has discovered that an unusual number of baseball players are born in August. Consult your astrology guides!...

Gus Johnson Is Still The Dancing Queen
Proving once again that Meryl Streep made an awful career decision starring in "Mamma Mia;" this belonged to Gus, obviously, from the get-go....

Gus Johnson Doesn't Get Quite Enough Love
OK, now do you guys think it would be safe to say that few television personalities not named Erin Andrews are more popular among these here Intertubes than Gus Johnson? We're the ones pumping the guy, dammit! James Brown? Play-by-play? Over Gus Johnson? Come on! He's loved around here. So why, then...

Gus Johnson Hits The Pause Button
This is from a while back, but I feel it buttresses (pause) my claim that Gus Johnson should be paired with Dick Vitale. Sure, they're on different networks and their collective screaming would surely destroy us all. But at least the next time Dickie V. starts a massive Dook fellatefest, there'll be...

Get Ready For The Glory And Majesty That Is The 'Name Of The Year' tournament
It's like waking up the morning before the NCAA Basketball Tournament and discovering that your favorite team has lost its eligibility (*cough* Hoosiers! *cough*). That was my reaction when I found out this morning that Brian Suksomwong has been booted from the prestigious Name of the Year competiti...

Media Approval Ratings: Gus Johnson
For some reason, we tend to forgive Gus Johnson for sins we'd find unforgivable in other broadcasters. He's high histrionics, high volume, high intensity, high volume, high pitch, all of it. He's 95 percent bluster. Of course, this is why we love him....

Year In Review: August
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with August. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature somet...