So Clemson wrecked Ohio State tonight and will face Alabama next week for the national championship. Pray the Tigers win, for the sake of our puppetmasters in Moscow—who, if Russian TV announcers are any indication, bleed orange.
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So here's a great way to close out the year: Get wasted, break into ice rink, take Zamboni for joyride. Of course this story is not complete without a DUI arrest. [Maine News]