haters Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Hater's Guide To The 2019 MLB Playoffs
Baseball is good when it’s good, and sometimes even more powerful when it’s bad, and maybe especially when it doesn’t matter, which makes it more concerning that we are running out of it at an alarming rate. This is normal seasonal stuff, but it’s upsetting nonetheless. Teams’ seasons are dying out ...
The Hater's Guide To March Madness
The NCAA Tournament is what you make of it. So is everything else, obviously, but while the tournament is objectively just what it is—a sloppy whirlwind fortnight of stressed-out teenagers just absolutely freaking the fuck out while playing the most important basketball games of their lives—it is al...
The 2018(ish) Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
[greets you at the door while wearing a frayed holiday sweater; offers you curdled egg nog]...
A Note On Drew
Irredeemable Vikings fan and beloved voice of Deadspin Drew Magary has been moved to the injured reserve list after an accident last week. He is receiving the best possible care, is surrounded by his family and friends, and is doing well under the circumstances. We miss his randomly capitalized exub...
Deadcast Classics: Three Idiots Walk Into A Williams-Sonoma
In a universe that is similar to but not quite the same as this one, a new and very strange Deadcast would appear in this space. Drew would probably be more or less the same as usual, but as I had just gotten off an overnight flight on Wednesday morning, it’s a virtual certainty that I would have be...
The 2018 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
I was asleep last year when Warren Beatty, who last made a good movie before the advent of the steam engine, and Faye Dunaway botched the Best Picture announcement for Moonlight. I have very few regrets about this because I just watched it on YouTube the next day and because, if you go by the analyt...
A Bonus Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Hello again. Earlier this week we all gathered round the wassail to roast the goofiest items in this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog. HOWEVER, it was a really thick catalog this year, and there simply wasn’t enough room in print for EVERY ridiculous item featured. Especially the champagne saber. So, ...
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog<em></em>
Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door....
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The MLB Playoffs<em></em>
Hey, it’s finally baseball season! Pitchers pitchin’! Catchers catchin’! Bats crackin’! Batters scratchin’! Now I know every loves a little taste of summer training, but now they start playing games that count! [Mel Allen voice] How about that?...
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President. Russia has hacked all of our phones and is actively watching us masturbate. And every public school is going to teach your kids that gay people come from the fucking moon. These are ...
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vast hangar that seemed to stretch a mile long, with shipping containers ...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Hating-Ass West Ham Owner Thinks Leicester's Title Was All Luck
If this were any other year, West Ham would be one of the biggest stories in the Premier League. Here’s a club playing some of the prettiest soccer in the league, paced by hidden diamond Dimitri Payet, and has performed so well so consistently that they are still pressing for a Champions League spot...
"WE BE CHAMPIONSHIP": Draymond Green's Mother Pens Open Letter To Warriors Haters
The Warriors are probably going to win at least 70 games, and are currently on pace to eclipse Michael Jordan’s 1996 Bulls and win 73. They’re good and fun and they’re killing everyone, but even they’ve drawn some haters. Draymond Green’s mother wrote an open letter to those haters. Hey, Oscar Rober...
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone got pissed because all of them were white. So here we have one of the greatest social commentators of his generation presiding over a ceremony that is in DESPERATE need of a public fl...
Byron Scott Denies Challenging Instagram Hater To A Fight, Says He Was Hacked
Lakers head coach Byron Scott has a reputation to uphold. Not as a smart or even competent NBA coach, but as a tough-talkin’, no-nonsense, these-goddang-kids-and-their-goddang-iGoogles hard ass. This is why, if you get feisty in his Instagram mentions, you might get challenged to a fight....
The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have terrible news for you, America. I know that you’ve already endured a harsh autumn of partisan politics and mass tragedies and inconsistent NFL officiating. I know you can’t handle one more goddamn piece of bad news right now. It’s too much. It may break your spirit entirely. But I have to do ...
Deadcast: The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say horrible, awful, remarkably ignorant things about every team and fanbase. That’s right, fuckos. It’s time once again for the Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, now in convenient Deadcast fo...
Andros Townsend Waves Hi To Media Hater After Great International Goal
Andros Townsend isn't a great player, but then again, England aren't a great team, so it isn't too much of a surprise that the Spurs winger was called up during this international break, nor that he managed to blast home the tying goal in today's 1-1 draw against Italy. Well, not a surprise to us....