hawk Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...

Patrick Kane Needs A Drink
Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda....

Iowa Gives Coaching Award To Man Whose Workout Sent 13 Players To The Hospital
Back in January, 13 Iowa football players were hospitalized for treatment of "exertional rhabdomyolysis," or an "acute breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream." Basically, the Hawkeyes were pushed too hard in their workout routine...

Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...

Star Of <i>Fred Claus</i> Points And Laughs At Four-Time NHL All-Star
Your morning roundup for April 20, the day we started buying all of our heroin on Craigslist....

UGA Recruits Rob UGA Locker Room On UGA Recruiting Visit
We love this story, and you might too depending on your feelings toward SEC football and certain programs. Three people have been arrested in connection with stolen property from the Georgia locker room, and police say the suspects are recruits. That sound you just heard was the exploding heads of t...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
It's onto Game Threes. The Capitals try to go up 3-0 on the Rangers at 3 p.m. [Washington Post]. The Canucks will attempt to do same to the Blackhawks at 8 p.m. [Vancouver Sun]....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The NBA Playoffs start with four games on today's schedule. Pacers vs. Bulls at 1 p.m. Sixers at Heat at 3:30 p.m. Hawks at the Magic at 7 p.m. Blazers at Mavs at 9:30 p.m. Throw all the octopi you want; it's fantastic. Except in Orlando, where they're already scared Dwight Howard might take his ta...

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....

NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink
Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale....

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...

Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....

Ex-NBA Ref Attacks Dominique Wilkins Over Clothing Tab, Gets Black Eye, Plans To Sue
An ex-NBA ref named Rashan S. Michel lingered in Philips Arena after the Hawks-Magic game last night with the express purpose of demanding about $12,500 from Hall of Famer and Hawks analyst Dominique Wilkins. As seen in the TMZ-branded video above, Michel confronted Wilkins, shoved him, punched a ...

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Sad Jayhawk Has "Absolutely No Regrets" About Being Sad Jayhawk
Before he was Sad Jayhawk, Matt Rissien was just another superfan: going to away games, wearing a costume, posing with luminaries like Erin Andrews and Scot Pollard. But, thanks to the vagaries of the universe and an alert cameraman, he's become more: a symbol of fallen hubris. A Crying Duke Kid or ...

VCU Has No Business In The Final Four, And We're Glad They're Here
Last week at this time, we were laughing at the Big East for being a weak conference, despite all the late winter talk about it being the best in college basketball. The evidence proffered was the number of teams left in the tournament. By that logic, the best conferences in college basketball at th...

The Weeping Kansas Jayhawk, In Happier Times
Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan....

Your VCU/Kansas Commemorative Keepsake Poster
Writes the Richmond Times-Dispatch: The VCU Rams pulled off one of the biggest upsets in NCAA tournament history, beating Kansas 71-61 in the championship game of the Southwest Region. The victory puts VCU in the Final Four. The Rams, considered a mid-major team from the Colonial Athletic Associati...

Iowa Football Players Were Subjected To The Worst Workout Ever
Thirteen Iowa football players were admitted to the hospital in January with strange "undisclosed illnesses." A new report, released today to the state Board of Regents, attributes the hospitalizations to rhabdomyolysis, a rare muscle disorder resulting from an "intense, high-volume squat-lifting wo...

TJ Duckett, Out Of Football For Two Years, Will Shave Beard For Charity
T.J. Duckett, known best to you as the guy who'd replace an easily-winded Warrick Dunn in Madden '05, told the Huffington Post, in an exclusive interview, that he will shave his beard of two years and donate the proceeds to charity....